03 October 2009

**Baddest Motherfuckers Ever #6- Charles Bronson

Baddest Motherfuckers Ever #6: Charles Bronson

You might be thinking to yourself, "That looks nothing like the guy from Death Wish." Well, you're right. It doesn't. This is Charles Bronson, the person dubbed by the British press as "most violent prisoner in Britain". Now, that's a title worth having, fuckers.

Bronson, born Michael Peterson, is a former circus strongman turned shit-show of a criminal, but he's hilarious, violent, and strong enough to snap multiple pairs of handcuffs at the same time.
Crazy as a shithouse rat, but not without a sense of humor, Bronson, boasted: "I've had more hostages than Saddam Hussein." He was jailed for seven years in 1997 for taking hostage the three prisoners at top- security Belmarsh Prison, south London. During the incident in September 1996 Bronson, who was serving a 15-year sentence for possession of a firearm and hostage taking, tied up the prisoners and barricaded them in a cell with him for seven hours. He insisted his hostages call him "General" and told negotiators he would eat one of his victims unless his demands were met. At one stage, Bronson demanded one of the Iraqis hit him "very hard" over the head with a metal tray. Later, he threatened to eat one of them and demanded a helicopter to Cuba, two Uzi sub-machine guns, 5,000 rounds of ammunition, an axe, a cheese sandwich and ice cream.
He later told staff: "I'm going to start snapping necks - I'm the number-one hostage taker", and in court said he was "as guilty as Adolf Hitler".

  • In 1994, whilst holding a guard hostage at Woodhill Prison, he demanded an inflatable doll, a helicopter and a cup of tea as ransom.
  • Bronson had been known to bend cell doors with his bare hands and has been described as "probably the most disruptive inmate in the country".
  • In his latest siege, Bronson tied up prison teacher Phil Danielson with a rope and towed him round the jail for 44 hours.
  • Armed with two knives, he twice tried to harm himself during the siege. He hit himself over the head with a bottle and tore a washing machine filled with water from its socket in an attempt to electrocute himself.

Bronson has spent a total of just four months and nine days out of custody since 1974. He was released on 30 October 1988 and spent 69 days as a free man before being arrested for robbery, and then released again on 9 November 1992, spending 53 days as a free man before being arrested again, this time for conspiracy to rob.

In other words, this man is a bad motherfucker. He has a book about his workout routine, called Solitary Fitness, wherein he details his 2500+ pushup a day workouts in solitary confinement.

Good times.
  1. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/special-new-unit-for-britains-three-most-dangerous-prisoners-1114958.html
  2. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/646857.stm

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  1. Ok dude, you're a beast and I'm convinced. I'm dropping my pussy routines and going Chaos and Pain. I used to work out that way but, like a retard, I let myself get talked out of it. I started today. My legs are screaming, my back is locked and my former workout partner thinks I'm nuts. I can't fucking wait for tomorrow.
    Thanks bro.

  2. "I started today. My legs are screaming, my back is locked and my former workout partner thinks I'm nuts. I can't fucking wait for tomorrow."

    Hahahaha. That is fucking awesome.

  3. What did you think of the movie, Bronson? I've always wondered whether or not you would have liked it.