30 October 2009

**A Ride-A-Long with ChAoS and PAIN

I've gotten a wide array of questions from you guys, and a number of questions that bear strong resemblance to one another. There is one, however, that has continually cropped up with little or no variation in wording or substance- "what's your day actually like?" To be honest, I never thought this would in any way be interesting to anyone, so I have yet to answer it. We shall see if it's as boring as I think it is, or if it has any bearing whatsoever on your opinion of this training methodology. Quite frankly, I cannot envision a scenario wherein anyone would give a flying fuck, but here you go.

I'm not a professional personal trainer, have no kids, and don't have to be at work until 130 today, so there's really no good reason to get out of bed any earlier than 830. Frankly, I think getting up prior to the sun is fucking inhuman, and is pretty much the sole purview of people in the military and farmers. As I hate taking orders and only eat an appreciable amount of grain on my cheat days, I'm neither of those things, so I get out of bed whenever the fuck I want. Upon waking, I preheat the oven for my daily festival of wing goodness and fire up my computer. By this time, the oven's ready, so I season a large package of wings with Adobo seasoned salt and enough cayenne pepper that the wings are blood red. I don't cut up the wings, incidentally, as I eat the bones in the tip (yes, I literally eat the bones. If you ever saw me eat a fried chicken breast, you'd be astonished at how few bones were left at the end), and cutting up the wings is far more trouble than it's worth. When I eat them, I rip them into their composite parts as I go, and it's a hell of a lot less time consuming than cutting the fucking things up beforehand. If you're curious, I cook them 30 mins a side at 450. Most people would say they're overcooked. I say they're crispy, which is nice because soggy wings suck my ass.

That done, I check my email with a movie or Sportscenter on in the background, and then eat 5 of the wings I've cooked when they're ready. Once that's done, I usually read, answer more emails, do a bit of consulting work, or iron. Yep. Iron.

Two hours later, I eat five more wings, then down my Methyl Mass and head to the gym. After killing it for anywhere between 45 mins and an hour, I head to work and eat an Oh Yeah Almond Fudge Brownie bar on the way (that's on low carb days. on higher carb days, I'll eat a package of Tri-O-Plex Chocolate Chip Cookies).
While at work, I eat the majority of the remainder of my five lbs of wings, usually accompanied by one or two Monster Milks. I'm a huge fan of those things- 45g of protein, 1.5g of Kre-Alkylin, and deeeee-lish. Once I leave work, I'll usually head back to the gym to tan or dick around with something light, and then head home, where I'll eat more wings, bullshit around, and head to bed to get my nine hours of sleep.
That just happened.

That's about it. Nothing exceedingly cool, and certainly nothing Earth shattering. I've no idea why you guys wanted to know what my typical day is like, but that's it.

The following video is one of most of my work sets from yesterday's workouts, to let you know how I roll in the gym. Supersets of shrugs with 765 for 5 and 865 for 3-5, and triples and doubles with 315 on CGB and then singles with 325. After work I came back and did second 20 min workout, using 135 for 12 sets of triples on power clean and press.

WE are the hunters.

WE kill the weak so the strong survive.

You can't stop the New World. Your filthy society will never get rid of people like us. It's breeding them!


Now playing: Back Of Tha Neck - 02-Internet thug
via FoxyTunes


  1. I think you mean CHEAT meals, not chat meals. Also - what do you mean by "do iron, yes iron"?

  2. Clothes. I iron clothes. I starch the shit out of my work clothes.

  3. Prestige Worldwide FTMFW!

  4. Did you ever go back to grappling at all once u stopped in college?

  5. I did a couple of wrestling tournaments after college, and trained with a JKD club in Tucson, and at Rincon High School in Tucson for a while. I got to roll with Don Frye once, Joe Riggs once, and a couple of other smaller-time UFC and Rage In The Cage fighters, but that was it.

  6. I really don't like the Hulk's teeth in the picture above. I know you'll all sleep better now that I've shared this.

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