30 September 2009

*Form Isn't Everything...

Lately, there has been a lot of talk on the internet about whether or not one must use perfect form to achieve maximum muscular growth. Additionally, there's been a lot of blathering about "cheating", done particularly by people who'd struggle moving a paperweight. Hilarious statements like this were made:
"Ronnie was able to get away with sloppy ego lifting with the help of wonderful supplement called GH. Until he messed up his back and had to retire.

Anyone who can only afford regular androgens and not GH would have ripped every tendon in his body training like he."

"Sloppy ego lifting" as it were, allows one to use more weight. more weight = greater recruitment of muscle fibers. Greater recruitment of muscle fibers= more muscular growth.

People love to jock Pendlay Rows, of late, named after Glenn Pendlay. Pendlay's an Olympic weightlifting coach who has done strict barbell rows with 425. These are the rows after which he was named. The 135 lb festivals of nothingness you see people yammering about on Bodyspace have nothing whatsoever to do with Pendlay's idea of strict rows, any more than a pebble on the beach is related to the rock of Gibraltar. He's a strength coach, not a whiny internet pussy coach. The fucking guy literally has a sticker on his truck that reads "Don't Be A Pussy." Thus, the myriad douchebags on the internet should be ignored- they are forsaking the man's name.
Dexter wud be HYOOGE if he did tha Pendlay Rowz!

I am now up to a bodyweight of 190, a mere 4 months out of surgery, and have got my BTN press back to 325 and my Close grip Bench to 345 being just 3 months out of a cast, and a month and a half after the time during which I was supposed to be in a brace. It wasn't by playing pattycake with the fucking weights, either.

Chaos and PAIN- It's Ugly, But It Works.

Now playing: Years Spent Cold - Toy Soldier

27 September 2009

*Stemming the Tide of De-evolution, a.k.a. HARDEN THE FUCK UP

There is little case to be made, in my mind, against the idea that humanity has de-evolved since the advent of agriculture, and further with the adoption of Christianity by the vast majority of the world. In the last hundred years, advancements have been made in human health, and the stature and longevity of the human race as a whole has improved rather markedly. This is hardly something to jump up and down screaming about, however, as humanity's health had been in a steady decline since the abandonment of hunting and gathering, and then had its genetic pool continually diluted and systematically destroyed by the Christian ethic of mercy, which has allowed the genetically unfit to propagate their genetic lines for millennia.(1) Make no mistake, in classifying certain peoples as "genetically unfit", I am in no way referring to their race, creed, or gender, but rather to the "mercy" inherent in allowing those children who would have been left to wild dogs to wander about in society, increasing the prevalence of mental and physical retardation, in addition to every sort of mental illness one might encounter.(2) This problem was exacerbated by the adoption of a diet wholly unsuited to humanity, that of agrarian fare, in lieu of the meat and veggie-intensive diet of our paleolithic ancestors.

Paleolithic woman. Well, I'd like to think this is what a paleolithic woman looked like.
According to archaeologists, skeletal remains show that paleolithic humans developed muscularity similar to today's superior athletes (3)- in the paleolithic era, humanity resembled professional athletes, fit and sleek and muscular as one could imagine, and capable of such impressive feats as killing megafauna with nothing more than a sharp stick. They were hardly the stooped, sickly, grubby motherfuckers that archaeologists of yore would like to have you think they were. Instead, they were heavily muscled, heavily tatted, meat eating motherfuckers who were bigger, on average THAN MODERN MAN. Yep. Bigger.(4) Additionally, archaeologists believe that the fact that the average paleolithic person only lived to be 35 was due to "the combination of stresses of nomadism, climate, and warfare. The latter is especially clear in the Jebel Sahaba population, where projectile wounds affecting bone are very common and 'almost half the population probably died violently." Over the subsequent few thousand years, the average lifespan only increased about 5 years, until the advent of modern medicine, when it then doubled. (5)
Could you kill this thing with a stick?

Not all of the softness and shittyness of the modern human can be attributed to diet and religion, however, as it is fairly obvious at this point that the mere sloth of the modern human is not to be underestimated. We've all heard our grandpas tell us how much tougher people were back in the day- I remember having my college roommate's insane, one eyed grandpa relate to me the following tale:
"I lived on a FARM. You DO know what a farm is, eh boy?! Well, it was the Depression, and we had a bunch of lazy fucking layabouts hanging around the place- sleeping in the fields and PUSHING DOWN THE CORN. PUSHING DOWN THE CORN! WHY WOULD A PERSON SLEEP ON TOP OF CORN STALKS?" [At this point, I was edging away from the man, as he was practically foaming at the mouth, and he was screaming at me from a distance of about 4 inches, nose to nose with me.] So this one guy, a real hardass, tells me to go fuck my mother when I told him to get off the property. I got out of the truck and whooped his ass for him. I was 19 or 20, and I wasn't about to let some bum talk like that about my mother. So, I beat his ass, and he was laying there, whining and weeping in the dirt, so as I picked him up to throw him in the bed of my truck, he rolled over and STABBED ME IN THE FUCKING EYE WITH A CORKSCREW. [He emphasized this point my pointing at the pirate patch over his left eye. Dumbstruck, I asked what he did next.] WHAT DO YOU THINK I DONE, BOY? I STABBED THAT BASTARD IN THE THROAT WITH THE CORKSCREW. Then I drove myself to the hospital, where they gave me a patch, an aspirin, and some sulfa. that's how we did it in the OLD DAYS. You boys are soft!"
To summarize, the man pulled out his own eye and stabbed a man to death, whom I later found out they buried in the fields, with the corkscrew that had just been embedded in his face. I don't give a fuck who you are, THAT is the essence of brutality.

Other impressive past feats:
  • In 1834, a Norwegian sailor named Menson Ernst ran from Paris to Moscow, a distance of about 1550 miles, in 14 days, 18 hours. We're talking unpaved, muddy country roads in the middle of one of the shittiest areas in history, and the fucker SWAM 13 RIVERS on the way. Two years later, he worked as a courier to the East India Company and traveled 5625 miles from Calcutta to Constantinople in 59 days- crossing almost nothing but desert and mountains, and passing through India, Tibet, Afghanistan, Persia, Mesopotamia, Syria, and Turkey. (6)
  • Milo Steinborn STEINBORN SQUATTED 553 pounds.
  • Greek fishermen regularly carried on their backs loads ranging from 400 to 800 lbs circa 1927.(7)
  • The usual load carried by porters in Izmi, Turkey was 560 lbs in the early part of this century, and frequently carried 840 lbs.(7)
  • Turkish porters in Constantinople used to carry regular load of 600 lbs, sometimes at a trot, and some of the strongest porters carried 800 lbs.(7)
To make matters worse, modern man has proved himself to have been weighed, measured, and found wanting in comparison with his ancestors. Multiple times, modern Americans have attempted to mimic the daily efforts of the people of the past, and have not only been incapable of doing so, but have even deemed their efforts impossible. How were the pyramids built? CERTAINLY NOT BY HAND! Easter Island? Must have been magic. And Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, archaeologists didn't think that Viking Longships were SEAWORTHY, because they couldn't replicate their acts. They didn't think that Vikings, who have left shit scattered all over Minnesota, could navigate the ocean, in spite of the fact that they were well-documented sailors. In the last few years, a number of efforts have been made to replicate the actions of the Vikings, and have been disasters. It was either too cold (8), too difficult to navigate (9), or simply too strenuous, even when using Olympic rowers.(10) Bear in mind that Vikings would regularly row to where they wanted to go, then immediately disembark and begin killing everyone they saw with massive broadswords, war hammers, and axes, and then take a break every now and again to drink a flagon of mead and engage in a bit of rapine. Modern athletes can't even ROW the fucking things, much less row somewhere and then storm a beachhead thereafter and lay waste to a city.
Neither of these poofs belongs on a Viking longship.

So, what does this tell us? We're a civilization softer than any in mankind's history, and we've not even regained the stature of our prehistoric ancestors. The word "pathetic" hardly even describes our collective physical state in comparison to our predecessors, and there's no excuse for it.

"We don't have a great war in our generation, or a great depression, but we do, we have a great war of the spirit. We have a great revolution against the culture. The great depression is our lives. " -Chuck Palahniuk
Yep. Drew this, too.

Our revolution, our purpose, should be to undo the millenia of bullshit and nonsense that has gone on in the human race. We should resolve to be stronger, faster, and leaner than any group of people in history. We shall return to the age wherein men looked like men, acted like men, and did manly shit. Gone is the time wherein you should feel comfortable bitching about physical shit- just do it. Your lower back hurts because you've done a few sets of deadlifts, and you want to stop? You're a fucking pussy. If a Turkish porter could do it a hundred years ago, I'll be a fucking Chinese jet pilot if you can't muster up the balls to lift it now. Arthur Saxon drank lager beer mixed with gin and eggs and then proceeded to outlift EVERYONE, in an era before testosterone had been isolated, and was lean as fuck while doing it. Want to eat more food but not be a fatass? THEN LIFT MORE. Want to get stronger and bigger? LIFT MORE. If people could do it in an era wherein they had no idea where their next meal was coming from, you sure as shit can do it now.

If the guys above managed to somehow live through what any slack-jawed pussy on Bodyspace would swear is overtraining, and thrive, if the pyramids do indeed exist, if the Vikings managed to do what they did, and if TURKISH PORTERS ROUTINELY LIFTED MORE IN A DAY THAN YOU EVER HAVE IN A WEEK, overtraining can suck it. The "take it easy" crowd can suck it. The "10 minute abs" people can suck it. The next time you hear some Under Armor clad asshole in the gym tell you that if you train chest twice in a week you're overtraining, grab him by the throat and pound his fucking face until you see bone and brain. He shouldn't be allowed to procreate.

No one ever got manlier by doing less, and training smarter rather than harder makes you a corner cutting pussy, not a weightlifting virtuoso.


Bear wrestling is good GPP.

Now playing: Evile - Bathe in Blood
via FoxyTunes
· 1. "Many Neolithic groups routinely resorted to infanticide in order to control their numbers so that their lands could support them. Decapitated skeletons of hominid children have been found with evidence of cannibalism. Joseph Birdsell believes in infanticide rates of 15-50% of the total number of births in prehistoric times. Williamson estimated a lower rate ranging from 15-20%. Both believe that high rates of infanticide persisted until the development of agriculture. Comparative anthropologists have calculated that 50% of female newborn babies were killed by their parents in the Paleolithic." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infanticide#Paleolithic_and_Neolithic) Wikipedia
· 2. “Exposure of newborns was widely practiced in ancient Greece. In Greece the decision to expose a child was typically the father's, although in Sparta the decision was made by a group of elders. Exposure was the preferred method of disposal, as that act in itself was not murder; moreover, the exposed child technically had a chance of being rescued by the gods or any passersby.” Wikipedia
3. “The laws of the Twelve Tables required the pater familias to ensure that "obviously deformed" infants were put to death.” Wikipedia
4. Eaton, SB, and Eaton SB III, 2003. "An Evolutionary Perspective on Human Physical Activity: Implications for Health." Comp Biochem Physiol A 136, 153-159. Ungar, Peter S., Ed. Evolution of the Human Diet. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2007.
·5. Longevity and Health In Ancient Paleolithic vs. Neolithic Peoples. http://www.beyondveg.com/nicholson-w/angel-1984/angel-1984-1a.shtml (I've added the page to the end of this blog for your edification.)
·6. Ibid.
7 Willoughby, David P. The Super Athletes. New York: AS Barnes and Company, 1970. pp. 459.

·8. Ibid. pp. 181.
·9. "Tell Us Now the Saga of the Self-Styled Viking", H. Carter. http://outside.away.com/outside/magazine/0798/9807vik.html
·10. "Viking Voyage Revisited, Minus the Pillaging." http://www.active.com/sailing/Articles/Viking_Voyage_Revisited__Minus_the_Pillaging.htm

    22 September 2009

    **You Know a Weight is Easy as Pie...

    ... when you can stand around chatting about it. 605 lbs at 185 lbs, which is three and a quarter times my bodyweight. Easy peasy Japanesy. I finished out that workout with 515x8, since I saw a vid of Kroc doing 585 for 8, and I'm roughly 80 lbs lighter than Kroc, so I figured I'd make an effort commensurate with his.

    Now playing: Warbringer - Total war
    via FoxyTunes

    19 September 2009

    *Baddest Motherfuckers Ever #5- Arthur Saxon

    Arthur Saxon.
    More of a man than everyone who's been in Flex magazine for the last year, combined.
    Essential Stats (per the Development of Physical Power):
    Height: 5'10"
    Weight: 200 lbs.
    Chest: 49"
    Biceps: 17 1/8"
    Forearm: 14 3/4"
    Thigh: 24"
    Calf: 16 3/4"
    Bent Press: 371 lbs.
    Two Hands Anyhow: 448 lbs.
    Clean and Press: 342 lbs.

    Arthur Saxon (1878 – 1921), born Arthur Hennig and nicknamed "The Iron-Master", was a strongman and circus performer from the late 19th century into the early 20th century. Saxon is most well-known for the bent press, with which he set a world record of 370 lbs (although there are claims that he has done 385 lbs.) as well as the "two hands anyhow" lift of 448 lbs. (1)
    If you think that Saxon did concentration curls to get those peaked bis, you're an asshole, and I guarantee you that everyone you've ever met hates you more than AIDS.

    • Saxon believed in training heavy, with fewer repetitions, rather than light, which he thought was pointless, thought frequent training was best. Yes, he was a bad motherfucker, and wanted everyone else to be just as bad a man as he was.(2) According to Thomas Inch (of the Inch dumbbell), "Even when appearing twice a night with this laborious and trying set of feats of strength they practiced for two or three hours in the morning and seemed tireless."(3) For the grip, back and leg muscles, they used to carry a pair of 119 pound ring-weights, at the hang, around the stage ten times. (Farmer's walking -- Koto) They also used to walk around the stage carrying their heaviest barbell, a few times around, it weighed 192.5 kilos or 423 pounds.(Walking with weight, you basically get under the bar like you're squatting, pick it up, and take a walk with it.) The warm-up exercise was always the leg press with a heavy barbell; they used to do 20 repetitions(Leg presses back then involved them laying on their back and actually balancing a barbell on their feet and doing leg presses that way.) and then go up into a shoulder stand and while in this position the barbell was pressed a few times again and also balanced on one foot. From a standing position, the barbell was held at the back of the body, rolled up the back to the neck and jerked from there to arms' length.(Behind-the-neck presses, they also did these coming out of a squat like a clean and press but with it behind the neck.) Arthur's heavy one-handed bar was used for this exercise. A barbell that Arthur used for two arm pressing was cleaned and jerked to arms' length, passed over into one hand, and deep knee bends were performed while holding this weight at arm's length overhead.(One-handed barbell overhead squats, a bitch of an exercise) This is why they became so good at the one hand anyhow, although, while exercising, they did not practice picking up the kettle-bell.

      Every day, the one hand bent press was practiced."
    • He thought that one should train the lifts at which he wanted to excel with light weights on non-heavy training days.
    • Saxon whooped Eugen Sandow's ass in an impromptu weightlifting competition in front of an audience in Sheffield, England, in 1898. Sandow was never able to avenge this defeat.
    • He at least occasionally lifted bare-ass naked. "At one time the so-called friends of the Saxons claimed that he had, in the early hours of the morning, and after discarding all clothing until he was quite naked, raised over 400 lbs. bent press after commencing with a very much higher weight."(4)
    • Drank like a fucking fish. "Arthur, however, was certainly a heavy drinker and once when a Fulham crowd at the Red Lion endeavored for a joke to get him drunk so that he could not go through with his show, he drank some 50 glasses of beer and had the last laugh as he never performed so well as that night at the “Granville.”"(5)
    • Died like a fucking man. "At the height of his career Saxon met with a serious accident. Through no fault of his own a heavy wooden bridge loaded with a large motor car and a number of people fell on him whilst he was supporting it. He was in hospital a long time, iron bolts having been driven in at several places."(6) While in the hospital, he died of pneumonia. Other accounts, however, claim he died after being run over by a car, hammered drunk, and laying in the gutter, haha.

    As you can tell, Saxon was the fucking man. I'm reposting part of an article entitled "The Saxon Trio: What They Ate, and How They Trained", as it's all about balls-to-the-wall living and training.
    "For breakfast they ate 24 eggs and 3 pounds of smoked bacon; porridge with cream, honey, marmalade and tea with plenty of sugar. At three o'clock they had dinner: ten pounds of meat was consumed with vegetables (but not much potatoes); sweet fruits, raw or cooked, sweet cakes, salads, sweet puddings, cocoa and whipped cream and very sweet tea. Supper, after the show, they had cold meat, smoked fish, much butter, cheese and beer. Following this they had a chat and at one o'clock went to bed.

    At nine o'clock in the morning they arose and always had a cold rub-down over the whole body; if possible they would have a shower bath and a massage. It was this way that Kurt learned massaging which helped him very much, in later years, when he became an instructor and masseur.

    In their childhood, breakfast, for the Saxons, consisted of a thick soup made from white flour, rolls or white bread with butter or marmalade. On week-days dinner was at one o'clock; there was no soup, but instead, vegetables of all kinds, cooked or steamed, with fat on them, and some potatoes; after this, raw or cooked fruits. Other days they had green beans, white beans, peas and all kinds of food like this and rice cooked with milk and plenty of sugar. This was varied at other times by having salted herring that had been watered for 24 hours and eaten raw with boiled potatoes; there was also pickled cucumbers and raw onions with a little vinegar and plenty of oil; they had milk or sweet cream made by their mother. Salads and celery were also part of their meals, particularly in the summer when they had salads with plenty of oil on them. Dinner was usually followed with fruits or sweet cakes made from white flour and sometimes, berries on top of the cakes. They were very fond of these. There was also plenty of mushrooms eaten raw or fried with fat; their mother used to go out in the morning and pick about 10 to 12 pounds of these in the fields. She also used to make big cakes, 24" by 36", and spread with butter, or beaten egg whites, sugar and chocolate. The was often eaten with apples. At dinner time, there was usually nothing to drink but plain water. Other meals included soup, black German bread, butter or lard, cheese, smoked fish, raw cucumbers and radishes and onions. There was never any kind of meat on weekdays except for their father's meal; their mother did not care for it and it was only when they went to England, as professional performers, that the Saxon brothers learned to eat meat every day; the meat in England was very good.

    Although they had other foods, the things mentioned were their favorite foods. On Sundays they had a little meat, and for breakfast, real coffee. Other mornings they had coffee made from burned corn. There was also a special kind of beer of which they were very fond -- this was made from wheat, was sweet and contained but very little alcohol.

    Later, in England, as performers, Hermann and Kurt were partial to sweet foods and sugar. They tried very hard to gain weight but in spite of sweets and a terrific appetite, sometimes consuming one pound of butter between them, they failed to gain weight; sometimes only a few pounds which they could not hold. Arthur, the oldest, did not care for sweets and butter; even as a child he did not care for butter. Instead of butter he would use the lard from pork. Hermann and Kurt, in addition to other things, could make two pounds of marmalade and two quarts of very sweet cocoa disappear at one meal. Kurt was the heaviest eater of the three and for breakfast alone he could consume 24 eggs cooked in one-half pound of butter.

    Their three o'clock dinner consisted mostly of roasted or fried meat, beef, pork or veal, not much potatoes, plenty of salads with oil just as in their childhood. Sometimes they had vegetables, but always lean meat. Every day they had pudding-yorkshire, rice, sago, etc., but very sweet. Then there was always raw or cooked fruits and nothing to drink. Sometimes, on one day during the week, they roasted poultry, goose, chicken, or turkey. "Many times I ate an 11 pound goose alone," Kurt informed me. One day during the week they had fried or boiled fish, plenty of butter and toast but no potatoes. At six o'clock they had "tea"-this was mostly raw minced meat with raw onions, German bread and plenty of butter; sometimes sweet cakes and coffee were substituted. Their late supper included herrings (when they could get them) and eaten in the same manner they had become accustomed to in childhood. The herrings were sometimes used in salad form; they made their own mayonnaise with raw whipped eggs and oil. There never was any whisky or brandy at home. Even as children they did not care for milk and as men they developed no taste for it. At "tea" time they very often had whipped cream. They did not care for boiled eggs, instead, they went big for poached eggs with plenty of butter.

    After their three o'clock dinner they rested for a couple of hours, except Kurt who could not rest so long because he had to go out and do the shopping for the next day. Cooking for himself and his brothers was a hobby with him-he was also out of bed earlier than the others to prepare breakfast."

    What about workout shakes? Of course he drank them. The man was the pinnacle of human physical achievement. The forumla, however, was unorthodox enough that we might have to incorporate in in C&P.
    "The Saxons did have a "health drink" which I presume they concocted themselves. The ingredients were dark lager beer (or Dublin stout) mixed with Holland gin, the yolk of an egg and plenty of sugar. "It is a very good but strong drink" was the Saxon opinion, "but, if you are not used to it you will get dizzy very quickly." It seems to me that one would have to be a very strong man in the first place, in order to drink it. "
    Moral of the Arthur Saxon story. Be a fucking man. Then be manlier. You might, then, be a third as manly as Arthur Saxon.
    1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Saxon
    2. Saxon, Arthur. The Development of Physical Power. 1905. pp. 20.
    3. http://ditillo2.blogspot.com/2009/01/my-friendship-with-arthur-saxon-thomas.html
    4. Ibid.
    5. Ibid.
    6. http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=28966

      Now playing: Emmure - R2 Deepthroat
      via FoxyTunes

    16 September 2009

    *My MP3 Player is my Lifting Partner

    House had to put a pussy pad on the bar... because he forgot his MP3 player.

    And I will not lift without him. He is my strength and my hope, my bosom companion. It is, without question, impossible to lift nearly anywhere without one, for the following reasons:
    1. The music in most gyms blows donkey dick. I actually heard "Boom Boom Pow" in Sc Barbell today. I am not making that up. For those of you who don't know, that gym is owned by a WPO world record holder in the squat. It has three female members of whom I know.
    2. People will invariably ask you stupid questions while you lift, no matter how terrifying you may appear, unless you're wearing headphones. And yes, even that fails to deter the occasional retard.
    3. I am more focused while listing to it.
    As I've gotten a number of questions regarding the songs I have in my vids, I thought I'd fill you in on them, and then give you the basics of my playlist, as I cannot cut and paste the playlist out of Windows Media. Fuck iTunes, and fuck Apple. I rock a Phillips MP3 player and love the shit out of it.
    Video Songs:
    Gods of War- Sworn Vengeance (Hate vid)
    Bloodsplattered Satisfaction- Waking the Cadaver (Squat Vid)
    13- Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza (Cleans Vid)
    Get Sick- Throwdown (Cahos and Pain Intro Vid)

    Other than that, I'm rocking the following bands on my mp3 player:
    25 ta Life- NYC Hardcore
    Acacia Strain- Sludgy Deathcore
    American Me- NYC style hardcore, similar to hatebreed
    Annotations of an Autopsy- Brutal gore/deathcore
    Austrian Death Machine - Songs about arnold movies!
    Belay My Last- Deathcore
    Biohazard- NCY rapcore legends. Their disc Kill or Be Killed was BRUTAL.
    Blood of Our Enemies- Deathcore/ Death Metal
    Bloodsport- Moshcore
    Bring Me the Horizon- Fashioncore/Deathcore
    Bury Your Dead- Moshcore
    Carnifex- Death/moshcore. Lots of grooves.
    CDC- Toughguy hardcore. Great song called Ghetto ain't hard, about how kids from the suburbs can fuck up your average street thug.
    Dead By Wednesday- very cool rapcore. Think Twista meets RATM meets Hatebreed.
    Deathblow- Moshcore
    Diskreet- Very moshy deathcore. Tons of breakdowns.
    Elysia- Their first cd was good deathcore. New one is a Botch/Deadguy ripoff.
    Get the Ammo- Super toughguy hardcore. The song Suckerpunch rules.
    Hatebreed- You have to know this band.
    Hoods- Sacto hardcore. Awesome dual vocals, toughguy lyrics... awesome.
    How It Ends- 1st cd was mosh-a-riffic. 2nd was a shitty Crowbar ripoff.
    I Declare War- Sick vocals. Crazy brutal deathcore.
    I shot the Sherriff- Very moshy deathcore. Badass.
    Iwrestledabearonce- Sickest chick vox of all time. Bjork meets Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza
    Killwhitneydead- You have to hear them to understand. Awesome.
    Knuckledust- English NYC hardcore. 1st cd is their best.
    Liferuiner- Deathcore/moshcore. Straightedge.
    Misericordiam- Beatdown Deathcore
    Nasty- German Beatdown
    Oceano- Moshy death metal
    One Step Too Many- Super Toughguy hardcore
    Repercussion- Sealed with a Fist is one of the toughest songs of all time
    Shattered Realm- Deathy moshcore
    Suffer The Living- The reincarnation of Shattered Realm
    Sworn Vengeance- Metal/deathcore
    Sworn Enemy- The 1st cd was super toughguy hardcore
    Throwdown- Moshcore superstars
    War From A Harlots Mouth- Jazz/death metalcore
    xBarcadiax- Supertough hardcore
    Years Spent Cold- Moshy deathcore

    Check out some of those bands. They've definitely upped my game in the gym, and adding them to your mp3 player (fuck Apple) might raise the bar... literally. Kill it fuckers!!!
    Sickest. Vocals. Ever.

    15 September 2009

    **Hate is an excellent motivator.

    You ever have one of those days? One of those days where every fucking thing in your life goes wrong, and you want to grab some shit-talking whore by her throat and rip out her lungs, so she can see her fucking insides before she dies? Well, I had one of those days. And given that I don't want to go to prison, I went to the gym instead.
    I am hate.

    Though you have to pick have to pick your exercises correctly, as in explosive, brutal, fuck-shit-up exercises, hate can be an excellent motivator, when harnessed correctly. Bear witness to today's workout. Last week, I failed trying to clean 275. Today, I cleaned it many times, and videoed a bunch of them for your viewing pleasure. I also hit 285, which is my max, and got damned close to hitting 295. The last time I hit 285, incidentally, I used perhaps the worst form in history and mangled my wrist, leaving me incapable of doing cleans again until several months later. Thus, my success was all fueled by hate, and nothing else. I slept like shit tonight, was stressed out all day, and by all accounts, should have been a fucking mess in the gym. Luckily, I have a flexible, full-body workout, that accommodates my need for death and destruction in the gym, and harnesses that negative energy in a somewhat positive way. Enjoy.

    I refuse your moral standings.
    I will strip you of your faith.
    I will make you beg for mercy.
    I was fucking born to hate.

    Now playing: Sworn Vengeance - Gods of War
    via FoxyTunes

    10 September 2009

    Ask The Asshole #2

    The second installment of the series. More testaments to my greatness. The first thing I posted is from today, on a message board on Bodybuilding.com. As I displayed hints of brilliance and, yes, eloquence, I thought it was worthy of a repost here.
    Q- "Are you kidding? How are you going to see size gains with low reps all the time and such few exercises? Maybe good for strength but can't see anyone gaining decent size on this kind of thing, 8-12 reps works best for hypertrophy mate."

    A- Interesting. Certainly there's a great deal of clinical evidence to support your specious claim, but there's far more anecdotal evidence to the contrary. For instance, NFL players train, primarily, with low reps, and yet they've no problem attaining hypertrophy. Likewise for Olympic weightlifters and powerlifters. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the hobbyist in Olympic weightlifting is 9 times out of 10, far more physically developed than your average bodybuilding hobbyist. This can occur, and does with my style of lifting, when one's rest periods are kept very short. By shortening one's rest periods, one can actually induce sarcoplasmic hypertrophy, as it places a greater load on the muscles over a given period of time. Staley proved the efficacy of such a method with Escalating Density Training, and John Little and Peter Sisco unwittingly contributed to this theory with their Time Under Tension theory. Finally, given that I am naturally a 130 lb, slight, pudgy guy, and am now a 187 lb and very lean, tremendously strong guy, I would state from my own personal experience that this method of training for sarcoplasmic hypertrophy is indeed efficacious. Furthermore, lifting for reps is boring and the product of nothing but vanity, whereas training for strength bears the fruit of utility and generates interest in the activity being conducted. Reps are something to be endured, whereas testing the limits of one's strength is something to be enjoyed. Thus, it proves its supremacy once more.

    Ed Coan. Big and ripped. And a powerlifter.

    Q- How do you progress if you're always working within 80-95% of your 1RM? Do
    you try to add 5lbs to the lift every 2 or 3 weeks?

    A- I developed this program in response to my frustration with overly programmed routines that require steady, incremental progress. Recent evidence suggests that evolution was not an incremental process, but rather one comprised of massive mutations in response to external stimuli. I believe this is how humanity progresses- long periods of maintaining the status quo, followed by short periods of massive change, a progression that repeats itself infinitely. Certainly, this view would lend itself to a much higher risk of injury than that of the "slow and steady" method, just as a slow and steady evolution would lend itself to far fewer genetic anomalies, but this is not the nature. "Slow and steady wins the race" is a horseshit idea proposed by risk-averse people who will never do a single interesting thing in their miserable, bland lives. They'll eat bland food, paint their houses beige, have the prescribed 2 children with the dog and the white picket fence, and live and die in the same fucking place, working a shitty middle management job for a corporation that never knows their name or face. Fuck that. I'm a "live fast and die young"/"nothing risked, nothing gained"/"no guts, no glory" kind of guy, and this routine reflects that. You progress when you feel like you can do more. You always WANT to add more weight to the bar, but so many factors go into daily performance (eg work hours, sleep, nutrition, supplementation, relationship stress, sexual activity, etc) that it's impossible to accurately predict one's performance from day to day, and properly program for it.

    Cube farms and incremental progression can both suck it hard. I'd rather die a thousand deaths as a man than one as a coward.

    Q- "So the premise is: pick 1 squat, 1 pull and 1 press movement, and just put arm+ab+neck work on off days? And why BTN presses? That goes against everything I've ever read haha"

    A- Yup. Really, on the light days you can do whatever you want- I make those dip/pullup days, oftentimes. As far as btn push presses, they're much easier to do than push presses from the front, and more akin to the lockout of snatches. Also, they're done standing, so the mechanics are different- you're not locked in place. Thus, they're not unsafe.

    Q- "
    I noticed you said to hold a deadlift lockout for about 10 seconds. Is that how long you should generally hold other lockouts as well, or just as long as you can bear it? Also, you mentioned that you don't like doing lockouts prior to your full range lifts. Do you do them in place of your full range lifts on certain days, or after the lifts?"

    A- 10 seconds just seems to be the time that's popular amongst static hold guys, and it's a ballpark number. I don't agree with Waterbury on the partial prior to full range lifts. I find them annoying and tiresome before full range lifts, and they typically stress the area you need to be strongest before you need it.

    Arild Haugen apparently likes deadlift partials. Seems they're working.

    Q- "Should I use cardio to help cut and decrease body fat? I've talked to guys who have competed before and they swear by doing SS cardio in the morning in a carb-starved state + every other day HIIT after lifting sessions (this is all about a week or two pre-competition)."

    A- So as I said, the simple answer is no. At this point, if your bodyfat is fairly low and cardio would be an unnecessary addition, especially given the proper diet. if you feel like adding extra training, add in extra sessions of bodyweight work, light kettlebell work, or assistance work that you want to do, like arms. I would keep away from the cardio, as it could just end up wasting muscle and energy for little or no good reason. If it's not going to anabolic, what is the point, right?

    Chinese Olympic Weightlifter Le Maosheng says "Fuck you and your cardio."
    Q- "What do you define as a cheat window?"

    A- A cheat window is an evenly spaced 3 hour period during which time you eat all of the shit you don't eat during the rest of the week. It serves a couple of purposes- it satisfies any and all cravings you might have, gives your body a needed influx of calories (which is essential during dieting to recharge your metabolism), and it gives you a mini-carbup, which is a nice break from the miniketo runs you'll be doing. I'd recommend at least one a week, and if you're feeling especially hungry or worn down during the week, add a second one. You'll be surprised at the difference they'll make. Also, make sure that the cheat window is on a day of heavy training, so you'll use the calories left over for good, haha, rather than evil.

    Q- This is just a comment and not a question: I'm surprised that you basically have 1-2 exercises per muscle group (bench/dips for chest, pullups/rows for back). I guess I've always done the 3-4 exercises per muscle group method.

    A- I think the 3-4 exercise horseshit is for the ADD generation. You cannot isolate specific muscle heads, and you cannot isolate specific muscles, so it's stupid to try. It's much better, in my opinion, to find exercises you are good at and kill them, as they'll force growth by virtue of the fact that you're adding weight to the bar. I look good from every angle, and it's because I hit areas, not bodyparts, with my training. Complex, full body movements like the clean and press also lend themselves nicely to this phenomenon.

    I beleive Carrot Top ascribes to the multi-exercise theory, and is a bodybuilder. The End.

    Q- "Another quick question: What's your diet like? What do you eat normally on your low carb days, what do you eat for your supercompensation day and what do you eat during your cheat window? My supercompensation day is Friday and I am counting down the minutes. For my first cheat window, I plan to eat a pizza. God it's going to be amazing. Supercompensation doesn't mean cheat, right? It just means carb-heavy? So I can eat rice, bread, etc.?"

    A- My diet usually consists of baked wings marinaded in olive oil, cayanne, seasoned salt, Emiril's Bayou Seasoning, and black pepper plus protein shakes on my no-carb days. On Supercompensation days, read my blog for the diet- I posted about a supercompensation. Supercompensation means super carb heavy, plus a lot of creatine. The cheat meals are EVERYTHING you can eat in a 3 hour window. Mine usually consists of burgers, breaded fried chicken, pizza, and buttered popcorn at the movies.

    If you want a really good article on the supercompensation, go here.

    Well, fellow hooligans, that's it for this installment of "Ask the Asshole". I was unpleasantly nice in this installment, but I assure you that I shall up the fucking ante in the next one. Until that day, fuckers....

    Who cares why I posted this?

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    09 September 2009

    **The Horror! The Horror!

    Myriad jokesters have opined in my presence that they fear for their knees/back/vag, etc, when they're doing an exercise heavily and at which they are not proficient. Well, fellow hooligans, I assure you that if you get strong enough, you can have the worst form in the world, still be fairly strong at a given lift, and fail to hurt yourself. To this end, I give you proof. Behold the worst power clean form in history. And to Pologruto of Iron Sport, this is why I will never be in the Olympics, despite my superhuman front squat.

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    06 September 2009

    *ChAoS and PAIN's first official adherant- The First Hooligan, Kenny

    First off, I'd like to state unequivocally that I don't want any "drink the Kool-Aid" style Gym Jones/Crossfit shit going on with C&P, nor do I want you guys to become like the thousands of Rippetoe marks populating the internet these days. C&P is open-source, fuckers, so treat it like you would anything that's open source. Use it, love it, and make any mods you want to it- without mods, we'd not have Counterstrike, or half the cool shit on Firefox. I'm not Bill Gates, and this shit isn't Microsoft.

    That stated, I had a guy approach me a couple of months back with the following email.
    "I am leaving on a big beach vacation at the beginning of September. That means I have about 90 days to get ripped. Here's a little about me. I'm 28, Asian, 5'10" and 158 lbs. According to my Omron Fat Loss Monitor, I'm at 11% body fat (which seems a bit high for me, but whatever). I'm in pretty good shape now, pretty lean and have a 6-pack. My current workout routine is 3-4 days of lifting each week (1 hour sessions) and 3 days of basketball (for cardio). My goal is look as close to Bruce Lee (ripped to shreds) as possible.

    What do you think I should do for workouts? I am on a very basic routine now. 3 day split (Chest/Shoulders/Triceps, Back/Biceps, and Legs). I do about 12 sets per muscle group and 8-10 reps (this is before I read your blog). I am thinking of switching to a heavy routine, keeping the 3 day split, but going for about 10 sets, 1-5 reps each. Also, what are your thoughts about cardio? You don't seem to be a fan of it, so should I cut it out of my workout? Or should I consider morning cardio on an empty stomach? I just saw your HIIT post so I won't bother asking about it, lol.

    For my diet, I currently eat whatever I want as my genes have helped fend out any significant fat gain. But I'm no longer 18 so I want to change this as well. I was thinking that I need to consume at a caloric deficit since I'm looking to cut. I am thinking about 50% protein, 35% fat (all the unsaturated fat from olive oils, nuts, etc.) and 15% carbs (limited to basically what's in fruit, veggies, and shakes/bars). Should I be consuming at a deficit or so I need to eat more?"
    He wasn't sure if ChAoS and PAIN would get it done for him, but was willing to give it a try. I let him know that if he hooked me up with some pics, updated me periodically, and hit me with stats, I'd help him out for free. This poor fucker sent me a diet that showed that he was going to go basically paleo, but at a ridiculous caloric restriction, and only eat 1600 Kcals a day. That, of course, didn't sit right with me. Thus, I encouraged him to increase his total daily meals to more than 6 per day (6 is the BARE MINIMUM I would ever recommend), clued him into the awesomeness that are Oh Yeah and Supreme Protein bars as mini-meals, and advised him to add some cheat meals to his diet. We did some tweaking to his diet, and then worked on his lifting routine, which amounted to a 6 day a week plan that included no cardio whatsoever, and no sets over three reps, with the exception of his bodyweight exercise days. As he didn't have any specific bodypart goals, I focused his workout on traps and shoulders, and then we tweaked his diet further over the course of the 72 days he had until his vacation in the Bahamas, for which he was training. The results speak for themselves.

    Kenny wasn't a slob to begin with. He'd been training some, and it showed.
    Kenny's Day 1 Pics
    . Face is obscured to protect the guilty.

    From June 12th to July 17th, Kenny gained 4 lbs, going from 159lbs to 163lbs, and got way fucking stronger than he had been, but hilariously, did not find his improvements impressive. His July 13th weights and reps are the first, and the ones in parentheses are his previous bests.
    • Squat: Sets of 4 reps @ 225 (Sets of 2 reps at 185)
    • Bench: Sets of 2 @ 225 (Sets of 4 reps @ 185)
    • Push press: Sets of 2 @ 115 (Sets of 4 @ 95)
    • Deadlift: Sets of 1 @ 245 (Sets of 4 reps @ 185)
    • Barbell rows: Sets of 3 @ 155 (Sets of 3 @ 135)
    By week 8, Kenny was hitting the following numbers:
    • Squat: Sets of 5 @ 225
    • Bench: 1-2 @ 225. He then changed to incline, since he plateaued and could do doubles @ 205 on the Incline.
    • Push press: Sets of 2 @ 115 and switched to the Behind the Back Push Presses ( which we said were "FUCKING AWESOME." and did sets of 2-3 @ 135.
    • Deadlift: Sets of 5 @ 275.
    • Barbell rows: Dropped to include High Pulls instead. Sets of 3-4 @ 135.Shrugs - He started doing these in week 8, and worked from 275x4 to 325x1 that week.

    Finally, 71 days after he started the program..
    After (Aug 22, 71 days):
    Fucking Sick.
    • 166lbs
    • ~5% body fat
    • Squats: Sets of 4 reps @ 275lbs (He's pretty sure he can do more, but he's scared he's going to blow out his back and knees. He won't.)
    • Bench: Sets of 2 reps @ 245
    • Push press (back): Sets of 5 @ 145
    • Deadlift: Sets of 5 reps @ 275
    • High Pulls: Sets of 5 @ 155
    • Shrugs: Sets of 3 @ 315
    Thus, on the big three, Kenny made huge increases (in his lifts in 10 weeks, and dropped his bodyfat by a couple of percent, all while gaining 7 lbs!
    Think P90X is the shit? Well, according to Kenny, for body recomposition, there's nothing like a little C&P.
    "The best things about all of this are the reactions I've gotten from people and how I feel. Never, in my 10 years of working out, have I gotten comments like these:

    "I've never seen a polo shirt look better on anyone" - Said by a friend's girlfriend to a friend of mine (so not to me directly)
    "Holy shit dude, did you put on like 20 lbs of muscle this summer? Did you just lift everyday?" - Said by a friend
    "Dude, you are looking jacked" - Said by one of my best friends who is in ridiculous shape
    "Wow, you really bulked up over the summer" - Friend
    Countless comments about my "hard body", "washboard abs", "muscles on muscles" from lots of women.
    Lots of "you look great, have you been working out?" comments"
    This is what ChAoS and PAIN does. It might not be pretty, and it might not be nice, but it fucking works, because brutal is good, and more brutal is even better. So, my hooligans, show 'em what the fuck is up at your gym, and show the rest of us as well. If you start using C&P, send me your info and I'll blog about it. Spread the love!

    PR's or ER's, bitches!

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    03 September 2009

    *Some Equipment Rules, and Some Equipment Blows Donkey Balls

    The following is a compendium of C&P approved equipment, and that which should be treated like the Nazis treated the town of Lidice in WW2.

    Heavy Duty Power Racks of any manufacturer. Doesn't matter who makes it, so long as it's not finished in chrome, and it's heavy duty. Not one of those horseshit racks you see in Bally's that starts teetering the second you have 315 on the bar. Fuck Bally's.

    Platforms and bumper plates. The following looks like heaven on Earth.

    Bodymaster Squat Machine. I know, seems like it should never make the cut, but this thing is fucking awesome. It saved my ass while I was in a cast, I loved the fact that I could change the focus based on my foot position, and I could do shrugs on it as well. Additionally, one can perform Viking Presses on it. Thus, C&P approved.

    Resistance Bands. Good for tons of shit.

    Dumbells (non-chrome- everyone knows chrome sucks). Not my favorite, but they're good for working shit unilaterally, which is good on occasion. Just don't expect to use them constantly and then have any kind of useful transfer to barbell- it's not gonna fucking happen.

    Plates without handles. Plates with handles annoy me with all of their convenience. I want the opportunity to drop one on my foot. Call me old school. And preferably, non-matching plates. people who spazz about having their plates match are pussies, probably impotent, and possibly Canadian.
    Look at that old, pale fucker lifting mismatched plates. He's more of a man than you, in spite of his melanin and Vit D deficiencies.

    Donkey Calf Raise Machines and standing calf raise machines. Frankly, I only do donkeys, since I refuse to load my spine with a shitload of weight to move it two inches. Fuck that.

    What Needs to Be Wiped Out of Existence:
    Cable Crossovers. If you like them, fuck you and the horse you rode in on. You're fucking retarded, and your family probably thinks you're the biggest retard to hit the planet since Life goes On went off the air.

    I am going right to hell.

    Hercules Curls. How the fuck is it possible that people even do these? More worthless than the Jonas Brothers' penises.
    There's an exception to every rule.

    The Leg Press. Shitty for your knees. Not squatting. Essentially, for pussies. No one cares how much you can leg press. One leg press cannot be compared with another, ever. So fuck you and your thousand pound leg press- Lee Priest's 92 year old grandpa did them regularly.

    The Leg Extension. Really? How much do you hate your knees, on a scale of 1 to 10? A ten? Then fuck it, have at those sons of bitches, since all you're doing on the leg extension, aside from looking like the biggest pussy since Britney forgot to wear her thong, is fraying your acl. Good job fuckface.

    I could have legs like him? YAY!

    Seated Calf Raise. Pointless. You show me someone who can isolate his soleus, and I'll show you either a liar, or a guy with calves so good he needn't do any calf work. Plus, after squatting three times in a week, it fucking hurts my thighs too much to bother with them.

    Dumbbell Flyes. One, it should be "flies", not "flyes", so it's retarded from jump- what is this, Ye Olde England? It bloody well better not be, because the English might have the least palatable food since the Indians. Fuck Tandoori. Next, it is the destroyer of shoulders, and a waste of time, since you should be doing weighted dips or close grip bp anyway.
    I would consider doing flyes for this chick. Fuck, I might consider living in England for this chick.

    And there you have it. My list of approved and banned exercises, as per your request. Everything else that's out there, i.e. those exercises which I have failed to mention, fall into a gray area. They MIGHT be ok, under the right circumstances. but I caution you, tread carefully.

    When in doubt squat.

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