As you all know, David Goggins recently went jogging in a couple of different places and has subsequently been in nearly every print and online exercise publication known to man, because jogging is apparently the coolest thing that's ever fucking happened, anywhere. As such, there would seem to be little else one could learn about this former unknown, but I managed to pick up a few choice tidbits through careful research, and uncovered some startling photographs never before published online or otherwise.
The above picture was taken right after Goggins ran 43000 miles and then did a handstand while deadlifting a new world all-federation, all-time world record... with his cock.
Goggins was born Ingvar Xhosa Laval (later changed to David Goggins) on Feb 30th, 1876 to Tywanna Mosely, a maid from Zimbabwe and was of Hottentot/Tyrannasaur descent, and Gustaf de Laval, a well-known Swedish industrialist. The two met in a hotel in Lisbon, Portugal, and after a whirlwind romance of sexual asphyxiation and a lengthy stint working adjacent glory holes in a back alley, conceived the future jogging champion. They settled in the Seychelles Islands, where Goggins was born to much fanfare due to the popularity of the Swedish chef and dinosaurs in that region.
At that point, Goggins was teamed with a variety of costumed superheros to combat local infestations of bovines, which frequently entered the homes of people living in the Washingtonian suburbs and gave birth to hybridized cattle with a taste for human blood. The calves of these genetic mutants were born with their skeletal system on their exterior, allowing them the ability to easily cut their victims and drain them of their blood. After working side by side with both Spider-Man and the Flash to combat this plague of mutant ruminants, Goggins enlisted in the US military to aid the Anarcho-Communists in the Spanish Civil War, declaring that "fascists are fucking... fascist. And if there's one thing David Goggins can't fucking stand, it's that sort of nonsense." Thereafter, Goggins would only refer to himself in the third person, despite the loss of his side in the Spanish Civil War and the triumph of his nemeses.
After returning home in defeat following the Spanish Civil War, Goggins was distraught. In a fit of rage at their lack of effort by his fellow Commies, Goggins wrote the following scathing rebuke of the Communist movement to the editor of the New York Times:
There are times in a man's life when he needs to stand up on his own two feet and fight- like when you're in the grocery store and some pushy bitch tries to jump the line because she's "pregnant". Fuck that shit, she's just fucking fat. And lazy. Just like the Communists in Spain. They sit around all day, drinking wine and eating baguettes and speaking some nonsense language, and they expected me to do all of the work just because I'm awesome. Well, fuck that- I thought we were all equal. Isn't that the shit they try to tell us? So here I am, thinking that I was going to be surrounded by fellow super-soldiers, all bad and buff and shit, and instead it's pack of dirty Spaniards with sticky fingers and a penchant for buggery who had the audacity to fucking die when they got shot. Lazy, just lazy. As such, I hereby renounce my affiliation with those beret-wearing poofters, and vow to strike down any of those pinko fuckfaces if I ever see them again.
David "I'm fucking awesome and I love to jog" Goggins
Immediately upon posting that letter, Goggins enlisted in the United States Army, from which he was transferred to a newly formed, extra-governmental squat called the G.I. Joe Team. Using the codename Roadblock, Goggins dispense hot metal justice to Communists and assholes alike, all while making pithy rhymed statements like "Play it straight, or there's no doubt, I'll turn your eyeballs inside out." Alternating in major conflicts between his affiliation with the Joes and the Army, he fought as both Captain America and Roadblock, serving meritoriously in World War I (as Roadblock), World War II and the Korean War (as Captain America) and finally in the Vietnam War rather anonymously as Sgt. Lincoln Osiris. Wounded horribly in the last conflict, Goggins volunteered to be frozen in a block of ice until such a time as science could heal his wounds, and his medically exceptional case of herpes, which is currently being studied by the CDC as the most comprehensive amalgamations of all herpes viruses ever collected by a single human being, which Goggins has since attributed to his time as a male prostitute and his brief affair with a 13 year old Vietnamese ladyboy in the 1970s.
Goggins in WW2.
After receiving treatment for his wounds and venereal disease in the late 1990s, Goggins fell out of the public eye as he reentered the seedy underworld of sex slavery, serving as a willing participant in a Southern BDSM-themed sex ring that catered to hillbillies and policemen. After his owner was brutally cut down by a professional boxer wielding a samurai sword in what Goggins described as a "horrible misunderstanding" between his owner, a friend, the boxer, and a large black man with ties to organized crime, Goggins decided to start jogging.
Goggins' slave owner's alleged murder. He is still at large.
Prior to his adoption of jogging, or yogging, (it might have a soft "j") he apparently powerlifted, although no record of his exploits in strength sports is still extant, and has presumably been expunged by the CIA as part of an elaborate coverup with links to the JFK assassination. A mere 45 minutes after lacing his sneakers, Goggins decided to enter a bunch of long distance races, which he ran back to back and incurred a variety of injuries one would expect to incur when running hundreds of miles with little preparation. He then became famous for overcoming those injuries and gave money to some charities or something.
His training regimen:
He just runs... for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.