20 December 2010

The Only Thing You Have To Fear #2

Fear- the bullshit emotion that dogs even the most intrepid amongst us.  Unless you're completely, batshit, certifiably I-just-made-a-lampshade-out-of-human-skin crazy, you've felt its effects and had it fuck you over more than once.  Feeling the fear isn't the shitty thing, though, it's what fear does to you- it causes you to avoid doing shit, and it's that avoidance that leads to humiliation and regret later on.
Fear is occasionally justified.

Fear inevitably leads to failure, due to the avoidance factor listed above- it's what drives armies from battlefields and leaves dudes unfucked at the end of the night.  Although it's fear of death that's what keeps us from trying to pet a pissed off viper (and quite rightly), it's fear of failure that is what's generally manifested, and it's this type of fear that we've got to combat tooth and fucking nail.  95 out of 100 people fail to achieve anything of importance in life because it's easier not to strive for success due to a fear of failure.(Van Fleet 51)  That's fucking bullshit.  And I'm not talking about the Alex P. Keaton monetary success, since we're not a pack of bloodthirsty bean-counters, I'm talking about the "progressive realization of a worthwhile goal."  The counterpoint, then, is failure- "someone who has the talent and ability to accomplish much more than he has."(Ibid.)  We've all been there- pussed out on a single that we felt was within our reach, and then left the gym pissed at ourselves despite the rest of the workout's awesome.  It's that kind of shit we need to avoid, because it's an evil, insidious, disgusting slithery thing that coils inside your mind and keeps you up at night, whether it's due to some guy/girl at whom you didn't spit game, some douche left unbloodied and unbeaten in a parking lot, or some loaded barbell from which you walked away.  You'll rarely regret the shit you've done, but you'll almost always regret the shit you've left undone.
Could you respect yourself if you saw this in front of you and said nothing to either of them?  I sure as fuck hope not.

Given this fact, you've got to find a way to master your fear... or fear will be your master. James K. Van Fleet, author of a pretty cool little book called Hidden Power has 4 steps to ridding ones self of fear, and I've found that they're remarkably apt, and shit you likely do as a matter of course.(Van Fleet 107-116)  Nevertheless, they bear repeating, as I've noticed there's a tremendous amount of shit that I do unconsciously that I should consciously do a hell of a lot more of, and this is one of those instances.

1) Admit it.  You can't beat what you can't see, and burying your fucking head in the sand will simply make you a weak pussy.  Therefore, if you fear something, simply admit to yourself that you do.  Pretend you're in Sex Addicts Anonymous, simply to get laid, and you've got to admit you're a freak to reel in the nut you've been eyeballing since the meeting began.
I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

2)  Analyze your fear to see if it's justified.  You planning on trying to fuck that viper I mentioned before?  If so, you might want to rethink your position, as the cost to benefit ratio on that plan fucking blows.  If you're simply afraid of back squatting, consider why that is.  How many people have you seen getting injured doing so?  Were their injuries avoidable?  That sort of shit.  If you find that you're simply manufacturing reasons to shit your pants about it, rather than thinking critically about it, do some research and some up with a solid thesis for why you shouldn't.  Present that idea to someone you respect.  If they spit on you, you're being a fucking pussy and you should probably go do whatever it is you were avoiding.  If they tell you that you're reasonable in your fear of fucking a snake, you can pay your fear a bit more heed.

3) Take necessary actions to rid yourself of your fear.  Here's where it gets fun, in two parts.

    1. Don't concentrate on your fear.  First, worrying about shit is fucking pointless- it's a waste of time, ages you prematurely, and that fear has a snowball effect.  Be the captain of your fucking ship and Blackbeard up-your conscious mind is like the captain of your ship, and your subconscious is the crew.(Van Fleet 6)  If your captains screaming like a woman and running about in terror, your subconscious will do so, doubletime.  If you concentrate on your fear, you will become it.  Therefore, acknowledge it and then hit step two.
    2. Do the thing you fear, and you'll gain power over it.  This isn't just some hokey bullshit- it's backed by science.  Chronic stress response to any given activity decreases markedly over time, to the point where your body will adapt and respond by flushing your body with hormones only at the precise moment you need it.  (Lehrer)  Cognitive behavioral treatment always involves confronting that which one fears to harness this precise response, and as you gain control over your fear and remain calm in the face of it, you literally force your subgenual anterior cingulate cortex into "hero mode", where you can become Sargent Fucking York at the drop of a hat and do insane, awesome shit for the fuck of it.  This means get under that weight that scares the shit out of you, or more.  If your mind's going to fuck with you, fuck with it right back.  I like to call this "doing something to spite myself", but then, I've got a lot of George Constanza shit going on and love screaming "SERENITY NOW!" at the top of my lungs and doing all sorts of random shit out of spite.  However you motivate yourself into doing something you fear, however, make it fucking happen.  You'll benefit therefrom.
4)  Prepare for the worst.  This isn't actually going to compound your fear.  Instead, it allows you to relax because you've already accepted the worst case scenario.

I realize that step 3 is by and large easier said than done, but it will be worth the effort.  Here are a couple of methods for gettin' 'er dun, as a certain fat redneck poser would say:
Doesn't work with tits, but then, who cares?  If you can touch them, they're real

1) Fake it til you make it.  This adage exists for a reason- it works.  By consciously focusing on being a badass, you will gradually force your subconscious mind to work with instead of against you.  This can be done with something as simple as a change in posture.  I'm not saying you should flare your lats and walk into the gym like the overly tan, air-lat douches that seem to populate New Jersey.  Instead, I mean simply walking around, everywhere, making a conscious effort to keep your head up, chest full, and shoulders squared.  Eventually, your mind will be tricked into confidence by your physiology.  Other people (men in particular, since women notice far more nuance in body language than do men) will pick up on your aura of confidence and treat you like the confident person you're pretending to be.  (Pease 27)
2) Become more aggressive.  Testosterone is positively correlated with aggression, helps to overcome the effects of fear, and fuels impulsiveness and physical strength.(Macrae)  It's what makes great men what they are, and without aggression, we'd still be living in caves, afraid of everything and nibbling on bamboo shoots.  To become more aggressive, all you really have to do is surround yourself with aggressive things.  Some studies have shown that violent sports and other entertainments increase one's levels of aggression, and likewise exposure to other aggressive people increases aggression.  (Flora 190)  Thus, listening to metal/punk/hardcore, watching violent movies, and hanging out with people into the same shit will increase your levels of aggression and thereby make you far more immune to fear.  If you're curious as to how aggressive you are, you can take this online quiz.  If you're on the low side and are sucking in the gym, you might want to think about investing in test boosters, the Devil's Rejects, and the new Man Must Die cd.

The key to success is to "act as if it's impossible to fail"... and unless you're fucking fearless, you cannot attain success.  (Van Fleet 53)  This doesn't include temporary defeats and setbacks- we're talking wars.  If the Viet Cong could manage to lose every fucking battle and still win the war, we can all hit 700 lb. squats.

Show no fear.

Link to Part 1, if you want a refresher: right here.
Flora, Stephen Ray.  The Power of Reinforcement.  New York: SUNY Press, 2004.
Lehrer, J.  Under Pressure: The Search for a Stress Vaccine.  Wired.  October 2010.
Macrae, F.  Say goodbye to fear of snakes and other phobias thanks to the new pill that gives courage.  Daily Mail.  24 June 2010.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1289011/Say-goodbye-fear-snakes-phobias-thanks-new-pill-gives-courage.html
Pease, Allen and Barbara.  The Definitive Book of Body Language.  New York:  Bantam Dell, 2004.
Van Fleet, James K.  Hidden Power: How To Unleash the Power of Your Subconscious Mind.  Paramus:  Prentice Hall, 1987.


  1. True!
    A point of clarification: we have remorse for things we should not have done but did, and regret for things we should have done but didn't.

  2. 122.

    I suffer from some pretty rabid paranoia in my personal life.

  3. 99. Quite a bit below average on Anger and Hostility scores, but well above average on Verbal and Physical Aggression.

  4. physical 42/45
    verbal 22/25
    anger 32/35
    hostility 33/40
    overall 129/145
    Higher than I thought it would be.

    Maybe some of you clowns will actually talk to a girl now after reading that.
    Not likely. You'll probably mouth off anonymously though. Nothing to be afraid of there.

    Hagakure suggested that one should meditate regularly on being killed in any violent or frightening manner he can think of. Along the same lines as "preparing for the worst."

  5. I sit around some days and just try to imagine the easiest way to completely ruin a social situation. After I go through a few scenarios of how I could potentially ruin my standing with the people involved in the situation, I get a bit creeped out. Then I pat myself on the back for not trying to stab my friend's shitbag yuppie brother at Thanksgiving dinner or punching my co-worker in the snotbox for no good reason. After that I can usually manage whatever social situation I'm in unless it deals with Juggalos. There's nothing you can imagine that is worse than being around those people.

    Cool story, br0.

  6. I got 28/45 on Physical aggression test. This is a bit above average for male.

    JAmie I noticed I am getting very into hard music to the point where i find calm music condescending my anger. MEshuggah; just bought cath thirty33 and fucking love it. I think the anger in the music saves me from my own anger, thus relaxing me and keeps my temper under control. I am very good at suppressing whats on my mind in work for instance and this is to my benefit. That being said I dont back down from my employer either.

    I am confident in every situation but when it comes to clubs these days, I suck! It is an irrational fear but the other night whne i got turned down it was just funny. I think this failure needs reinforced. College work is what caused this fear. Back in summer i got more girls than I ever had done prior. This had alot to do with being shredded, which has its merits on overall confidence.

  7. Physical Aggression: 24/36

    Verbal Aggression: 15/20

    Anger: 17/28

    Hostility: 21/28

    Overall: 77.8/112

    I guess that's pretty high. Great article, Jamie!

  8. I agree, one of the best things to do is face fear itself. I also agree that acting confident eventually makes you confident, and it'll definitely change how others perceive you.
    I scored around 80 on the aggression test, not sure whether that's bad or good but I didn't think I was extremely aggressive.

    On a related note, Jamie what do you think of Thibeaudeau's new program?


    Reminds me a helluva lot of your approach to training, except he includes a lot of Prowler work.

  9. Bill Goldberg will fuck u up

  10. "Prepare for the worst."

    That's a good point. Since I'm always thinking about the worst things, nothing is shocking me anymore.

    Physical Aggression: 41
    Verbal Aggression: 24
    Anger: 31
    Hostility: 35
    Overall: 131

    Need some anger management training. RARRRRR!

  11. Hey Jamie you should do a post on David Gogg...nah I'm just fucking with ya.

    I just crushed shit in the gym this morning after reading this post. Good stuff

  12. Physical Aggression: 38
    Verbal Aggression: 25
    Anger: 22
    Hostility: 8
    Overall: 93

  13. To anon about the calm music- I've found that easy listening music, in particular the song "When you get caught between the moon and New York City" makes me irrationally angry, so you're not alone on that one.

  14. Let me get this straight... Jamie discusses the merits of being aggressive, posts an online quiz, and all of you cocksmokes intentionally answer the questions to bolster your score, then you post it?

    I've got a test. It's called the "I can't think for myself and want Jamie's cock in my mouth" test. If you posted your score for the aggressiveness quiz, you get an A+.

  15. I was actually kind of curious to see what scores people got. I am amused to find that there are a lot of people who read this blog who think that everyone's out to get them, haha. 35 for hostility, Thor? Are you wearing a tinfoil hat?

  16. Cock size: 99/100
    Sad wankers on this blog doing online "tough guy" tests:8
    Their real toughness hardman factor: 0/100

  17. Tits: 40/100
    Ass: 57/100
    Cunt size: 100/100
    Likelihood to swallow: 100/100
    Days left due to aids: 15


  19. Calm down you queer cunt for fucks sake!!!

  20. Glen, please switch to decaf.

  21. Somebody better tell the dim-witted Glen, that it was not an IQ test.

  22. Online aggression test? What a joke. You tough guys actually took it, huh? What's next, you off to the mall to buy a pretty sun-dress and compare your scores?

  23. http://www.gay-test.com/

    This one's just for Dray and Glen.

  24. I apologize in advance because I suspect this question is probably going to evoke more retarded comments than a debate competition in a special Ed class, but What is your take on steroids, Jamie? As far as I know, the topic hasn't really been broached in any previous posts. You don't seem like the sort who would have any sort of moral hang-ups about anything that enhances your lifting performance, but I get the impression that this blog is directed more toward "natural" lifters? (quotation marks indicate that I hope anyone who uses the term "natural" like a badge of honor gets raped.)
    And no, I'm not asking the question "Should I take steroids?" If that were my question, I would have phrased it that way. I'm just curious, for the above mentioned reasons.

  25. Haha, no I'm not wearing one yet. I'm just very pessimistic and paranoid. And to be honest, I hate most of the humans. But if you look how shallow & stupid the mainstream of humanity is, you can't blame me for that. That's why I love this blog so much - at least one fucking awesome person (yes, you Jamie) is out there who is writing interesting and uniques articles.

  26. To steroids anonymous-

    Jamie actually mentioned steroids in conjunction with partial reps as a recommendation. For all intents and purposes, he doesn't seem to give a fuck.

    I wonder if the group of cocksmoke anonymous posters took the time to consider that maybe taking tests is just fun and has nothing to do with perceived lifting ability.

    I find it funny that Jamie took it though.

  27. Simon, I do the exact same thing.
    I'm not sure why.

  28. Porridge must have gotten a pretty low score to be as ashamed of it as he obviously is. A collective mentality that feigns aggression and misogyny on a blog and it's jealous of anyone who isn't afraid to reveal a bit about themselves.

    You're way too easily embarrassed, Porridge. Probably because you're SOFT AS FUCK but still. Do you think your tiny little world is going to collapse if you don't look cool in the comments section of a blog?

  29. Physical: 38
    Verbal: 21
    Anger: 21
    Hostility: 8

    Overall: 88

    I have doubts about the design of this test... I think there could have been better questions, and better format, for that matter.
    Still, not bad for shits & giggles.

    If I feel I need more aggression for whatever, I just channel my inner Clubber Lang.
    Fuck, that character's awesome.
    "I can't be beat, and I won't be beat!"

  30. Write about AAS and peptides. If you dont want to write about the ergogenic benefits, then write about their history in Strongman/Powerlifting/Bodybuilding.

    I feel it's the way forward, given your flare for research.

  31. Folks, this is for sure - the only people who can train heavy weights every day and STILL are able to wank three times a day minimum are steroid users. And wankers. Boys of 13 may wank that often though. Also i've heard Christine does (there's a video on her page).

  32. For the love of God, would somebody please coach Glen on to write anything that is even slightly different in his posts!??
    Thanks in advance,

  33. Write about David Goggins.

    And how Charlie Sheen got swole for Hot Shots 2 (steroids).

    I would give christine a 30% for tits and 65% for ass when she's not all skinny from competition time.

  34. What movie is the first picture from?

  35. Cry a little more, Porridge. I'll write something different when there's something different to write about.

  36. @Adolf "Sweet Genocide" Hitler

    The movie is called Feast.

  37. Adolf- Feast 2. The first one sucked, but the 2nd and third were fucking awesome. I think they were aliens, as I recall, who raped (with gigantic alien cocks) and slaughtered everyone in a small town, battled by a gang of lesbian biker chicks and some mexican midget luchadores. Literally. Those movies are fucking amazing.

    In re steroids, I think much ado is made about nothing. There are two distinct camps (take every kind on which you can lay hand and never go off, a la Louie Simmons, and the "natural" crowd, half of whom take them anyway. I don't think they're deleterious to one's health in reasonable doses, but I'm not out to endorse it either. Frankly, I couldn't give a fuck less if anyone takes them, but irrespective of their position, they should shut the fuck up about it.

    To all of the fantastically tough motherfuckers decrying the use of an online aggression test, settle the fuck down. It's a metric, and an interesting one that you can use if you so choose.

  38. Who is that pathetic troll that is using my name? Get cancer and die very painful, dicktwat.

  39. Porridge can't help himself. You'd pretend to be someone else too if you were that much of a nerd. He's afraid to be himself. He lives in constant fear.

  40. Yea I know but I really fucking hate it when some random asshole on the internet goes and ruins my credibility with you guys. What you all think of me means such a lot.

  41. I might even go and make a blogger account just so that none of you internet strangers gets confused and thinks that I'm saying things that make me look like a dick. I wouldn't want to look like a dick. Not infront of you guys.

  42. So have you ever dabbled with roids then, Jamie? Seeing as you're cool with using prohormones, or are roids a step too far?

  43. I'm in Mexico.
    Who wants steroids and ketamine?

  44. Frank, of course Jamie uses steroids! If he didn't, he'd proudly state that any time someone asks him that question, which has been about three times now. Instead he gives an answer in the manner of a skilled politition, ie, lots of words but you don't get your answer.

    Lets start a poll - I have never ever used anabolic steroids. Who's next? I doubt we'll hear from Jamie, in fact, you watch the next blog installment suddenly pop up, thus ending this current comment section!

  45. You do realize "the next blog installment" came three fucking days ago, right?
    Wow. You're quite the loser, Porridge. Make whatever comeback you want. We both know you're a fucking goof with nothing better to do than have conversations with himself here.
    "I want a poll! I want a poll! Jamie keeps deleting my posts!"
    Fuck, you cry a lot. probably because you're an 18-year-old borderline retard.