ChAoS and PAIN for New Jacks

As I'm sure the lot of you have noticed, I don't spend much of my time dealing with new jacks in the gym, or women. We've discovered, here at the ChAoS and PAIN headquarters, that parties who have membership in either of the aforementioned groups don't listen to a fucking word anyone says, and they are therefore a waste of my fucking time. Well, there's an exception to every rule, and here's one- a guy from Bodyspace messaged me yesterday with the following.

"Anyways i started the program using 5x3 on everything instead of jumping straight into 10x3 and burning out too early, i've upped my way to 10x3 on heavy days now, i was just wondering would you recommend sticking with 10x3 on the big lifts for the time being and adding weight to them as often as possible, obviously being a novice this will be pretty regularly for now. Then start experimenting with singles etc after a while?"

The answer to his question is an unequivocal yes. My typical program design goes:

1. Heavy- singles, double, or triples on BIG movements
   
2. Light - bodyweight or fatbar for high reps, or neck, abs, forearms, etc.
   
3. Heavy
   
4. Light
   
5. Heavy
   
6. Light
   
7. OFF

...and this can be adapted to people of every training level. It's all about common sense, and totally contrary to what Mike Mentzer suggests- the more advanced you are, the more work you need to put in to continue to make gains, whereas novice lifters don't need the same kind of volume to tax their muscles the way 30 sets would an advanced lifter.

If I decide not to do a push, pull, squat day on a heavy day, it might go something like this:

1. Push/Pull HEAVY
2. SQUAT HEAVY
3. Light
4. PUSH/PULL HEAVY
5. SQUAT
6. Light
7. OFF

Or it might go like this, if I'm really feeling my oats and simply killing it:

1. PUSH ULTRA HEAVY, long workout.
2. PULL ULTRA HEAVY, long workout
3. Light
4. SQUAT HEAVY
5. Push/Pull
6. Squat
7. Off
   

As you can see, it depends entirely on how I feel on the day I start the lift week.

HIT JEDI.

For any HIT jedi who might be reading this, the theory of evolution states that organisms, even within generations, can adapt to their environment, physically and mentally, to optimize their chance of survival. This is a gradual process, however, so new jacks should just settle the fuck down and cut down on their volume. You have to crawl before you can walk. As you feel comfortable with the program, and you want to train more, do so. ChAoS and PAIN is a paean to to libertarian/anarcho-capitalist leanings, and the principle tenets are that one does what works, and what they want to do. That stated, I know I rail against HIT and Rippetoe and leg extensions and Hercules Curls, but that's because they're fucking stupid. If you want to do them, have at it. Who the fuck needs a healthy ACL, anyway? Or 18" arms, for that matter?

Low volume didn't create this physique.

----------------
Now playing: The Analyst - The Remnant
via FoxyTunes