Baddest Motherfuckers Ever #26- Steve Stanko

There have been times when the best among us hasn't felt like hitting the gym- whether it be the common cold, not enough sleep, stressful day, or getting identified in some super-sweet gay porn, the urge to skip the gym will occasionally strike.  Few people have been able to resist the siren call of the couch on a training day from time to time, but it's exactly those motherfuckers who rose to levels of greatness about which few modern men dream outside of the leader boards in Call Of Duty.  One man, however, stands head and shoulders above the rest,  due to the mere fact that after he hit 35, he could barely fucking stand- Steve Stanko.

"Seriously, though.  He fucking hates you!"

For those of you unfamiliar with this former titan of strength, allow me to shit some knowledge on your proverbial chests.  Prior to contracting phlebitis, which is a disease wherein your doctor simply shakes his head and explains "God really fucking hates you, champ" when diagnosing you, Stanko held the following distinctions:

• he was the first person in the world to total 1000 lbs. in the three Olympic lifts (press, snatch and clean and jerk).  In doing so, he even chumped John Grimek, which would be more or less akin to Dmitri Klokov getting owned by a teammate who weighed ten pounds less than he did.  In 1941, Stanko represented with a  Press of 310.5 pounds, a Snatch of 310.5 pounds, and a Clean and Jerk of 381 pounds for  a total of 1002 pounds in 1941 at a bodyweight of 220. (Willoughby 167)
• he could run 100m in 10.8 seconds in street clothes, at a time when the world record was 10.2.  In other words, it'd be like an Olympic weightlifter who could more or less keep up with Usain Bolt without removing his club clothes after a night of fist pumping with the Jersey Shore kids at Neptune's. (Roark, Wiki)
• he was the first Mr. Universe, a distinction later held by guys you might have heard of like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sergio Oliva, Reg Park, John Grimek, Frank Zane, Brutal Bertil Fox, and a whole shitload of other notable bodybuilders.
• At the time Super Athletes was published, Stanko was one of the two most heavily muscled Mr. Americas (along with John Grimek) at 5'10", 223lbs, for a 3.119 height to weight ratio.  (Willoughby 167-168)
• Stanko was one of three men to do a snatch holding the largest plates at the end of the barbell, snatching 145 lbs. in that fashion in 1945.  Only Hermann Goerner outlifted him with 165 lbs., though he outweighed Stanko by about 80 lbs.(Willoughby 216)
• In one workout, Stanko cranked out ten single clean and jerks with 380.
• He could do 3 one arm chins at a bodyweight of 220, making him the 7th best chinner in history (according to David Willoughby).

Most of that shit was accomplished prior to the onset of phlebitis, which sounds like it sucks hard- it's a shitload of clotting in the legs.  You can't massage them away, since they'll dislodge and get stuck in your lungs, heart, or brain.  As such, you basically live in a shitload of pain.  This had to suck extra-hard for Stanko, who was a goddamned superman prior to contracting the disease.  He dropped from 223 to 178 after getting the disease, and was forced to walk around with crutches like a modern-day Tiny Tim.  Unlike most people, however, Stanko didn't just sit on the couch getting fat and bemoaning his shit luck.  Instead, he started lifting light and eventually got back up over 200 lbs in spite of the fact that he couldn't do any standing lifts.  When pressed to do something while tottering around on his rebellious legs,  rickety-assed Stanko busted a 190 lb strict curl standing, and that is the only record of a standing exercise I could find of Stanko's after contracting what amounts to AIDS of the legs.  Not fucking bad for a cripple.

Giving zero fucks.

Prior to being smited by the angry Jewish god of the Old Testament, Stanko's workout was fucking hardcore.  He trained five days a week, lifting massive amounts on the Olympic lifts daily.


Press
280
290
300 for 8 singles
260 for 5 sets of 5 reps

Snatch
280
290
300 for 8 singles
260 for 5 sets of 5 reps

Clean
360 for 5 sets of 3 reps

Clean and Jerk
370 for several singles

True to form in terms of being a cast-iron badass, Stanko didn't give a shit about warming up- he just did some old-school calisthenics and ate a shitload of baked beans (seriously) before starting to press.(Fair 67)  After he got done with the serious business of his workouts, Stanko would fuck around with weights at which his contemporaries shit their pants:

• overhead dumbbell press-100lb dbs x 12-14 reps, 120lb dbs x 8-10 reps (Murray)
• dumbbell swing- "in which he used a pair of 100’s for six reps"(Murray)
• squat- 380-400 for 10 reps (Murray) 
• high pulls to the chest with 350-400 pounds (Murray)
• quarter squats held in the clean position- with 400 lbs for sets of 10  (Murray)
• continental 410 or 420 to the chest just to “get the feel of the weight.”  (Murray)

After getting all crippled up, Stanko continued breaking his ass in the gym, but modified his movements because he had trouble standing.  “Plenty of reps, with heavy weights – that’s my system,” Stanko once noted, which pretty much puts his philosophy in line with John Defendis.  Eventually, Stanko worked up to 322 pounds on the pullover and press on bench, "never attempting to press more than he could pull over with bent arms. His bodybuilding routine often included 4 sets of 20 bench presses with 205."(Murray)  While that might seem retarded to you or I, you've got to remember the bench press had only recently been invented, and they were jury-rigging bench stands.  I can't imagine utilizing the retardedly dangerous toomfoolery they got up to when attempting to construct a bench on which to press, but it makes sense they wouldn't want to load up their hilariously rickety apparatuses with a bunch of weight.

While Stanko's lifts don't seem all that insane in retrospect, the takeaway here is that whatever excuse you think you might have to quit training or skip sessions, you fucking have no excuse at all.  Steve Stanko was a bad motherfucker simply because he looked god directly in the eye and told him to go fuck himself, and then proceded to be a horrifyingly bad motherfucker to the point that he won the most prestigious bodybuilding competition of his day while barely able to stand.

Stop making excuses and go crush shit.

GOMAD isn't always the wrong choice.

Sources:

     Everson, Jeff.  Strongest Man in History.  http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/planet28.htm
     Fair, John D.  Muscletown USA: Bob Hoffman and the Manly Culture of York Barbell.  State College:  Penn State Press, 2008.
     Murray, Jim.  Steve Stanko's Training.  http://ditillo2.blogspot.com/2008/05/steve-stankos-training-jim-murray.html
     The Roark Report.  A history of the Mr. Universe and Mr. World Competitions Before 1950, Part One: Mr. Universe 1947.  Iron Game History, Vol 3, Number 4
     100m World Record Progression.  Wikipedia.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men's_100_metres_world_record_progression
     Willoughby, David.  The Super Athletes.  1971.