Before You Go On Vacation From Your Diet This Weekend...

Some food for thought. Yeah, I'm a witty motherfucker.


Going off your diet every now and again is not the end of all things, and can actually help with fatloss, your overall sanity, and with your recovery time. Thus, when you're hanging out at a barbecue hollering at bitches, you can stuff your face with burgers and beer to your heart's content. Here's why:

1. Stressing about your food at what should be a casual event will cause a release of cortisol, which as we all know is catabolic. Therefore, obsessing over your diet in a place over which you have no control of what will be served can actually make you smaller and weaker, in addition to definitely making you look fucking stupid. Having a bit of a vacation from your diet allows your mind to return to a state of what can sort of be considered normalcy, but if you read this blog with any frequency, you're likely nowhere near "normal" by societal standards. Clinical sociopathy isn't normal, I'm told. I stabbed the bitch who happened to mutter that in my direction, though, so I didn't really get a clarification on that.
2. Going off your diet in a planned manner for short periods of time (under a month) has very little negative impact on bodyfat, and will not inhibit your ability to go back on your diet thereafter. In a study in 2003, a bunch of people were put on a typical diet for a while, and then told to plan to go off their diets for 2-6 weeks, after which time they'd go back on. The scientists conducting the study saw little negative change in metabolism or body composition in the test subjects. The key, however, is to plan to do this, and not treat it like a fucking trip to the all you can eat buffet, but rather that you're just going to eat like a normal human being for a while. If you treat it like a multi-week cheat meal, you're going to get fat. (Wing RR and RW Jeffrey "Prescribed 'Breaks' as a means to disrupt weight control efforts." Obes Res (2003) 11:287-291.
3. Taking a short break from a strict diet shouldn't really affect the hormones involved in the physiological response to dieting, especially if you've already dieted for a long enough period of time that you've significantly lowered your bodyfat set point into the single digits. Both Duchaine and McDonald recommend this, and do so with some force. They recommend, however, that you do essentially what the dieters in #2 did- eat reasonably. Keep the fats reasonably low, and bump up your carbs over 100g a day for a while. This will speed your metabolism and make your dieting, once you resume it, far more effective.
4. If you've been dieting fairly hard for a while, and you've been taking fewer than two refeeds a week in an effort t get extra lean, you're probably suffering from metabolic slowdown, and could use the metabolic boost that taking a break from your diet will provide.
5. Whining about your diet in front of chicks, or discussing your lifting program, is just about the fastest way on the planet to divest yourself of any and all interest the opposite sex might have in you. As such, you should probably refrain from discussing your exploits in the gym, as chicks likely will have no frame of reference for the weights, you'll like like a half-moron meathead (at best), and that conversation leads nowhere. As for discussing your diet, or bringing your own food to a barbecue (which I've seen happen), makes you seem like a vain, shallow, and possibly retarded, or a combination thereof. As such, just eat whatever's there and enjoy yourself, and leave the solipsism at home for the duration of whatever public gathering you're attending. Once it's over, you can go back to plotting the downfall of the government without the use of the internet, playing with your Troll dolls, or whatever it is that you fuckers do in your free time.

Now, go eat some fucking burgers and celebrate the fact that you're not drinking piss warm beer and eating a Ploughman's Lunch while wearing a powdered wig, and that you've never lost a war to the French. To you foreigners out there, continue about your business and lament the fact that you've either lost a war with the French or you're not eating burgers and getting shithoused this weekend.

The irony of this pic being manga was not lost on me, but it was apparently lost on the creator of this poster.

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