16 May 2009

*I'm Too Mean to Die

But apparently not mean enough to stave off injury. As I banged the everloving shit out of my elbow the other day, breaking off the massive bone spur on the tip of my elbow and apparently severing part of my triceps tendon, I am faced with a quandary- what the fuck should I do while recuperating?This is what a torn tricep looks like.

Conventional wisdom and my mom say that I should take the next month off from lifting and chill the fuck out.

Fuck that shit.

I train the way I do because I thrive on chaos and pain. I love doing insane shit, and I get hurt in the process. That's a fact of life, and I'd much rather live like that than reside in relative safety in a house in the suburbs with a wife and two kids and a white picket fence. Whether or not that's the result of the fact that no broad could tolerate me long enough to marry or simply an amusing correlation is a matter for another discussion, and fuck you for snickering.I wouldn't marry me.

So, what to do with a torn tricep? Well, for one, I'm going to make my already freakish wheels into legs that would make both Ivan Stoitsov and Tom Platz weep. For another, I'm going to develop a brutal one arm snatch and deadlift, and hope that my body compensates by making my left arm grow a little, however slightly. Though I cannot find the article now and am bored of looking, I have definitely read, more than once, that studies have shown that compensatory growth occurs when only one side of the body is trained in a unilateral fashion. I shall put that to the test and keep you posted, fuckers.
My current plan involves four leg training sessions a week, so we'll see what these fuckers look like at the end of a few weeks. For the next six or so weeks, it looks like it's going to be a steady diet of legs, traps, neck, and forearms, with some one arm pullups, deads, and snatches thrown in for good measure.

For those of you who are still wondering what ChAos and PAIN is all about, this post should pretty much sum it up.

When in doubt, TRAIN.

It's what Chuck Norris would want, goddamnit, and you don't fuck with Chuck.

chuck norris mast
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  1. That is ugly. What kind of cell phone is it?

  2. It was a free cell phone from Verizon, haha.

  3. About to be a retired cell phone. Your-welcome-very-much.