30 May 2009

*From Geek to Freak in... 14 years?

Recently, I have been accused of being something of which I am most certainly not, and felt as though I should post some proof to support my supposition. Which supposition, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you- I am the furthest fucking thing in the world from a genetic freak. Want proof? This is me, circa 1988:

Yup. That goofy assed kid with the crooked glasses, the pencil neck, and the horrible "Texas" map tshirt is me. Clearly, I had a small frame, wasn't muscular in any way, and hardly imposing. I was pretty much the nerdiest motherfucker you'll ever meet. Still am, except that my nerdy interior is hidden by 185 lbs of pissed off strength athlete, so you'd never expect that I'd have a badass comic book collection, or that I read more books in a week than most people read in a year. But yeah, that's me.

How'd I do it? I busted my fucking ass in the gym. I tried every fucking system you could imagine, and came to the conclusion (after spinning my wheels for a few years) that bodypart training makes no fucking sense whatsoever, arriving at very long last at the modern incarnation of ChAoS and PAIN.
After training for a week and a half with a torn tricep... bathroom pic.

What's this mean to you? You can be the weakest, nerdiest motherfucker you ever saw, with a genetic line that would make Will Farrell look like the brother of Arnold Schwarzenegger and still end up the hardest person to ever pick up a weight in your gym if you bust your ass and train like an animal.

So go do it.

Now playing: Geto Boys - Size Ain't Shit
via FoxyTunes


  1. Assuming you didn't do the math from that picture (1988) LOL ... cause that would make you really bad at math!

  2. You said you started lifting around 15, and I know your real age - so I'm just gonna go ahead and call BS on your math too! LOL No further comment needed!

  3. Clearly lots of hard work. Plus you cut your hair to an appropriate length and got rid of the pink shirts. Maybe it was an 80s thing??

  4. Hey widimilim... ...dumb ass. Any chance that he's been in this type of shape for a few years? I don't think the claim that the day he posted this was the day his ultimate goal had been achieved. Trust me, I know this "freak" and he's been as big as a house since before 2006.

    1. Why don't you suck his cock a little more, dick rider?

  5. Wow, such hostility! I know he's been working towards this for years -- I was just teasing him for purposely messing with his numbers to conceal his age. It was clearly a joke, chill out.

  6. Jamie was pretty built when I worked with him at the UA, circa 1999. I believe he might have been still doing body part stuff then. 14 years from 1988 is 2002, so I would assume that he's saying that's when he hit "freak" status and his current training approach had evolved.