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14 July 2010

Heavens! You Say I've Worked My Shoulders Too Many Times In a Week?!?! Part Two.

I'm fairly certain that I heard a bunch of you screaming "bullshit" in your heads while reading my last post, so allow me to elucidate a few of the more salient points from that one.

First, as a recap, there are two basic types of muscle fibers- type I (slow twitch) and type II (fast twitch).  Type II can be broken down further into IIa and IIb, which are intermediate and true fast twitch fibers, respectively, but for the sake of brevity, I'm going to address them together as type II.  Type I fibers are slow to contract, have more mitochondria, and are surrounded like the Texans at the Alamo by capillaries, except the capillaries pretty much serve the purpose of bringing in live strippers and dragging out the dead ones from Ben Affleck's trailer, rather than killing those valiant Type I fibers, Mexican style.  I know, that was a bizarre analogy.  In any event, the capillaries illustrate exactly the purpose of those fibers, as they carry in nutrients and rid those fibers of the waste generated by aerobic activity.  As you'd guess, they're fairly weak, and far less dense than Type II fibers.  By contrast, Type II fibers contract and relax far more quickly, have higher glycolytic activity, and store a shitload of phosphates and glycogen.  They suffer from a paucity of the capillaries you'd find in the type I fibers, but they replace them with glycogen stores, which allow you to look huge and ripped during a supercompensation phase, and store quick-draw energy directly in the muscles for explosive, heavy lifting.
Not designed for jogging.
Everyone has a blend of both types, which varies based on a combination of genetic and ontogenic factors.  Basically, you've got the frame of the house built but your genetics, and then the details filled in by lifestyle and training history.  On the genetic side, you're obviously going to display the characteristics associated genetically with your ethnicity, so that people of West African descent, for instance, will display a more muscular physique, "with a smaller natural lung capacity and .... 70 or 75 percent of [type IIb muscle fibers] when they are born." (Chicago Tribune)  Ontogenic factors then play a role, so that one's level and type of activity throughout one's youth can play a major role in the development and distribution of muscle fibers.  Thus, you could have two guys who are virtually the same size and shape, following the same programs for a three months at the outset of lifting, but with remarkably varied strength levels at varied lifts at the end of the three months.  They'd find, however, that the longer they trained together, and the more they followed similar or identical training plans and diets, they'd make headway at closing the gap between them.  They would never, ever, have identical builds or lifts, but they'd close the gap a bit.  This would occur because all muscle fibers can respond to athletic training by improving their ability to perform, according to the manner in which they're trained.  Doing a shitload of cardio like you're a low-rent Lance Armstrong would cause your musculature to transform itself accordingly, increasing the mitochondria and capillaries in Type II fibers until they came to resemble Type I fibers.  Conversely, murdering the weights will enhance one's phosphagen system, making one's type I fibers begin to resemble Type II fibers in form and function.  They'll never make a full transition, but your body will do it's damnedest to keep you in the game. (Nutrient Timing, p.151)
 No amount of training is getting this chick into the Olympics for weightlifting, unless it's because she's impaled on someone's cock.

Adding to this disparity in muscle fiber percentages, and the efficiency of non-ideal muscle fibers for the type of exercise in which one is participating, are a variety of biochemical factors.  No two people are exactly alike in the manner in which their body processes any nutrient or hormone, to the point where medical doctors admit that "what we can't do yet, is to identify the most appropriate modality of management for individual patients, based on the specific abnormalities each person has." (Metabolic Man, p.157)  If doctors can't even get dosing regimens exactly correct for dying patients, due to interactivity issue with both the patient's diet and existing pharmacological regime, in addition to their individual biochemistry, you'd be hard pressed to show me a single fucking "expert" who can tell me exactly what an exercise will do for me when I utilize it, especially when it's broken down further into frequency, loading, and rep scheme.  Additionally, they're not going to be able to accurately predict what my recovery time is, because there are far too many factors that contribute to that beyond those I've already mentioned, like one's nutrition and sleep.  Insofar as nutrition is concerned, that's not even an accurate indicator, due to the fact that gastric juices have extreme variations in enzyme content from person to person, which would drastically affect their rate and level of individual nutrient absorption.  (Biochemical Individuality, p. 83)  Additionally, people utilize amino acids very differently, ranging from 2% utilization to ~99%, and the enzymes necessary to bring about the oxidation of certain amino acids are almost wholly absent in some people (Biochemical Individuality, p. 81)  Bizarre, right?  That's how it's possible for you and a buddy to eat exactly the same things for two weeks and have completely different patterns for shitting and pissing, in addition to wholly different volumes of excreta, the entire fucking time. (p. 112)
...making it very hard for these chicks to predict how many people they'll need to provide their next meal.

Thrown in on top of the fucking mess you've got before you is the fact that your organs aren't the same size or shape as anyone else's, or even in the same place.  Heart size, shape, and function vary widely in individuals due to genetics, diet, and exercise, which obviously has a massive effect on the metabolism in every part of the body, as every function in your body is limited by the quantity and quality of blood it receives ( p.32)   Thyroids also vary in weight from 8-50 grams, and the shape of them varies to the point where in many people the glad is actually two glands connected by a narrow isthmus. (BI p. 93) As you can imagine, the function in one's thyroid would necessarily be just as varied as it's shape and location.  Your pituitary gland, which controls GH production, also varies widely, and there's a 58 fold excretion range in steroid excretions for males- so even if everything else is the same, your excretion and uptake of testosterone and GH can differ so widely that there's no way a program will affect two individuals exactly.

By now, if you remain unconvinced that 6 x 3 x 3RM three times a week on any lift would affect me wildly differently than it would you, you should shut off your computer and go drown yourself in your fucking bathtub, because you're unequivocally severely retarded.  There is no humanly possible way to predict what effect a given volume of any exercise will have on an individual, unless it's so extreme that it will definitely have a negative impact due to its severity or laxness.  Thus, when someone says you lack balance in your program, save your breath and simply curb stomp them, because they're fucking parrots who are wasting decent oxygen and your time.
It should also be readily apparent at this point why I suggest that you err on the side of excess in terms of nutrition and supplementation- it's FAR less likely that you're in the tiny minority of people who are able to utilize high percentages of every nutrient you ingest than you are on the opposite side of that scale.  Furthermore, there's so little evidence to support the idea that you'd suffer from hypervitaminosis or the alleged ill-effects of "protein overdose" if you consume what mainstream society considers megadoses of vitamins and protein, that you can hardly go wrong.  If you are one of the proud few whose hair falls out from vitamin A or shit out a kidney from excessive protein consumption, that'd be a good sign that you're overdoing it, but good on you for getting the fuck after it.  Now, go eat a steak and squat until you feel like fucking stopping, and if anyone tells you that you're overdoing it, channel your inner Ed Norton and let them taste-test some concrete.

54 comments :

  1. So is that what 2 girls 1 cup is? I've avoided it until now.

    You are a fucking asshole.

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  2. I knew what it was, but I've avoided any visual of it until now.

    You are a fucking asshole.
    Though I'm not sure if that's worse than the two hobo-men fucking.

    Great post though! Until these last few posts, you've been erring on the side of predictable, telling us more or less what we wanted to hear, when the appeal of the blog in the first place was elucidating things that went against what we thought was true, and calling us weak ignorant faggots for believing so, and these last two posts have followed suit.

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  3. this was a good take.

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  4. So... Doing 531 has trained my body to make more type 2 style musculature. And while taking a break from that program and doing some lighter weights and higher volume at a high speed is going to make my muscles more like type 1?

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  5. Good article, disgusting photo.i just went catabolic seeing that. Time for a tribulus sandwich and a few rounds through the old Glock.

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  6. Note to self... stop eating dinner while reading this blog.

    For fuck's sake man, here I am enjoying a nice steak and eggs dinner with a glass of milk and wham... 2 girls 1 cup... no bueno.

    Great article though.

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  7. That's funny, I was just having some ground beef and drinking a protein shake. They tasted good too. Harden the fuck up!

    Great article Jamie.

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  8. I managed to miss that all this time as well. Just skipped right to the end. I should probably start blocking the pics on the page I guess.

    Shame, because the training info is great!

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  9. Ironically the people that tell me my program is unbalanced the most are the bench and curls guys.

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  10. C&P what kind of drugs do you take? Drugs are kool.

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  11. Why is everybody so bent out of shape over two chicks enjoying some yummy chocolate? I don't get it?

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  12. Jamie we could have done without the 2 girl 1 cup... I was about to eat some eggs. Overall interesting information as always though.

    Lencho is that you or a Lencho I do not know?

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  13. Apparently they haven't gotten the memo that it's chocolate. It's not actual shit, fellas. Hahaha.

    And to those people who are offended by the pics I put on here, you know you done fucked up by reading this blog, right?

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  14. Not offended so much as it put me off eating my food by 30 seconds. Regardless of it being chocolate I was an early victom of the movie at the time it came out and was dry-heaving when a friend sent it to me the day it hit the net years ago... it brought back memories. LoL

    Eggs have since been successfully eaten and about to knock out some front squats.

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  15. Stop being such bitches about 2 girls 1 cup. It's not the end of the world. If you want to see something really fucked up go to Efuckt. Or look up Dissected-chan. Or 1 guy 1 jar. Or the Henderson Equine Castration Tool video. 2 girls 1 cup is fake, but none of this shit is.

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  16. Some of those mfx vids are brutal as fuck though, irrespective of the chocolate. Puking chocolate into each other's mouths still = eating puke, haha.

    Good times.

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  17. great post Jamie, you're quite the writer as well, sort of Bukowski of lifting haha.
    As a daily high volume lifter (been deadlifting 6-7xweek and benching 5-6xweek for years now)and kind-of-paleo eater myself, love the blog, really entertaining.
    Post some new vids as well!

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  18. My camera dropped dead a while back, but I'll see what I've got that I can throw into a compilation vid or something.

    In re the Bukowski thing- that's a hell of a compliment, hahaha.

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  19. Was that Henry Rollins in a low-profile disguise??

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  20. @ JasonDB

    It's me, brah!

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  21. I liked the "Blackflag666" address!

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  22. Now even the legend that is Lencho is here!!! Looks like the small minority of cool people are migrating from the sinking ship of bb.com, good times.

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  23. So where can I find more pics of that runner chick?

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  24. Hahaha. No fucking clue. I googled "skinny chick jogger."

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  25. The chick is Kara Goucher. Type the name into google.

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  26. It is ironic that she is actually an olympic runner.
    And cute.

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  27. Yeah, I have little doubt that she could be an olympic lifter had it been what she wanted. She is very athletic.

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  28. Actually I have to say that realizing the shit is chocolate 2 girls 1 cup is pretty hot.

    That being said, any BME compilation is well worth a watch. The basic one you should be able to find provided you're not a dumb fuck has an ass ton of fucking disgusting shit.

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  29. Just wondered if you ever go without lighter days? Lately i've felt fresh as fuck so i'm thinking of just alternating squat days and push/pull days doing ultra heavy long workouts.

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  30. C&P,

    I knew you were a freak but really. is that how you get your rocks off by watching girls play with feces. You need professional help. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that you never get laid. Stop blaiming it on your height you fucking weirdo.

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  31. Anon-

    I do go without light days on occasion. I go by feel.

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  32. I can't even get disgusted anymore. Med-school took that out of me.

    Seeing gangrene and burn patients and then going to eat lunch. Cleaning smegma off of dicks to insert catheters into them and then going off to eat dinner.

    Cheers for the article jamie, good read as always.

    Rant, go fuck yourself, dig yourself a grave and lie down in it. My shitter is broken from all the keto and I need a hole to piss/dump in.

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  33. The Verb, DROPPIN' FUCKIN' LOADS!

    If you don't get that reference, you fail at life.

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  34. I just took the biggest dump. Looked like rant's kids. Maybe I ate em as food.

    Oh well, I'm sure they were 70% fat 30% protein. I should still be in ketosis.

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  35. I don't understand people who are offended by pictures they have chosen to look at. News flash: unless you live in china, google is about 3 clicks away from the most depraved, hideous shit you can imagine. Complaining about it is going to get you no where. Go back to church and fuck off of my internet.

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  36. Actually just had my cheat meal for the weekend (only eating a couple carb meals on my keto every week) some chocolate pudding and strawberries. I felt a lot better eating that chocolate pudding having found out the 2 girls 1 cup video was in fact chocolate.

    Rant, who is more of a loser... someone who posts their thoughts on their own blog, and can deadlift 3x their bodyweight... but has unpopular ideas and controversial ideas... or the person who stalks their blog every day, day in and day out calling them a loser? If Jamie such a loser, what does it make you by dedicating time every day to read his blog, faithfully, and then call him a loser. It sounds like you are the one who could stand to get laid. ;-) Get some stanky on your hangdown brah... it might do you some good.

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  37. Does anyone else find it interesting that Jason like eating chocolate pudding more now that he knows that he's watched a video where chicks shit it into eat others mouths? Hahahaha. That's fucking awesome. I am improving lives daily, it seems.

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  38. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  39. Tight song for lifting.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoPOjj2P1_Y

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  40. Nice post, Jaime!

    Just a quick question: I'm still a beginner and I'm pulling 405. Are Shrugs pretty much useless at my strength level? Should I just concentrate on Deadlifts for now? Thanks in advance.

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  41. Hey anonymous, how much were you adding on your deadlift each workout?

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  42. Well, I generally train in the 85-95% range of my max for about 3-4 weeks and then try to hit a new maximum after that. I've been able to add 10-20lbs every time.

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  43. Just because you only deadlift four plates doesn't mean you can't shrug at least six. Use straps and cheat like crazy. If skinnyfucks aren't telling that you cheat too much at shrugs you aren't cheating enough.


    Check out the video I submitted for my Wipeout audition. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W7C6ltdSG8
    I went to the audition yesterday in Toronto and it took 10 fucking hours.

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  44. All right; I'll keep doing them then.

    I was using 455 for triples at the gym today and I was getting some weird looks. hahaha Pretty sure I can get at least 5 plates tomorrow.

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  45. You're getting weird looks because you're not curling and you're not shrugging on the smith machine with 25 pound plates.

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  46. Glen Mac-desperate-for-attention.
    FaceBook, Youtube, and now game shows??

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  47. That vid was golden

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  48. hey GLEN!I suggest you to wear a P&B shirt at the show!

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  49. Glen-
    That video was fucking amazing. I'm gonna throw it up on here if that's cool. Shoot me an email so I can ask you a couple of questions- jamielewis83@gmail.com.

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  50. This will be sweet an interview with Mac done by Jamie.


    You 2 are in my top 5 for people whos advice I trust.

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  51. Devil, if you think its humorous to post a photo of a nazi character from a film curb stomping a black man you are a fuckin' racist.

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  52. I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I can watch the hottest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

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