*The Supplements You Own End Up Owning You

The other day, I was walking around in a shopping center that contained a Gold's gym. I happened to fall in behind a couple of skinny, yet unfit, college guys, who were dressed in fashionable workout gear emblazoned with Under Armor and Abercrombie logos. Without going any further, I could tell they were useless douches, simply by their manner of dress, but I was bored, so I listened in on their conversation. The conversation, as it turned out, was solid gold- it centered around their "brutal" workout of machine-based exercises, and their need to get their protein shakes to facilitate recuperation therefrom. It was, at its core, a conversation worthy of the very pinnacle of douchbaggery, the likes of which I rarely see.

Sooooooooper tough. He has to be- he's wearing Under Armour!

Nevermind the fact that these fucking retards believed that they had just conducted a workout worthy of inclusion in the trials of Hercules- they believed that the workout was utterly worthless without their post-workout nutrition. They've been snowed by the magazines and the supplement companies to believe that without the proper supplements, they cannot achieve physical greatness.

One of Hercules's trials was dealing with mouthy broads. He handled shit.

Here's a fucking newsflash: BULLSHIT. Certainly, supplements can help, and I've spent a considerable amount of time detailing those that I think are worthwhile. That's not to state, however, that they are in any way essential. Plenty of people throughout history have built massive physiques without the aid of supplements, through little more than big eating and big lifting. What supplements do is speed the process, and help undo the deleterious effects of bad eating habits and sloth, in addition to centuries of shitty breeding habits for most of us.

The most important thing, in my opinion, is your training. That's because I'm primarily concerned with the development of strength, and muscle as a secondary effect. We all know that you cannot really out-train a bad diet, but all the dieting in the world isn't going to build strength and muscle without training. Therefore, training is the bedrock of C&P. Follow that with diet. If you eat like shit, you're likely to look like shit, and you'll probably train like shit as well. Last, and definitely least, is the inclusion of supplements in your regime.

Hermann Goerner never took a supplement. Of that much, I can assure you. That didn't stop him from deadlifting an epic 727 lbs. WITH ONE HAND.

Throughout the ages, the world has produced a wide variety of heavily muscled, bad motherfuckers, like Hermann Goerner, Milo of Croton, every single athlete who sat for a Greek or Roman statue, Punjabi wrestlers, etc. They all focused on two things, instead of supplementation (though they all dabbled in a variety of odd supplements throughout the ages): TRAINING AND DIET.

Lionel Strongfort. Bad motherfucker born in 1878 and lifting crazy weights long before the advent of supplements or steroids.

What to include? I've covered it before, but protein and a multi are the bedrock of your supplementation, NOT CREATINE. For some reason, every sloppy motherfucker on the planet seems to think that creatine is the essential ingredient into any workout program, to the exclusion of every other fucking thing of which you could think, including heavy squats and deadlifts. Creatine isn't fucking magic- in fact, if you eat red meat on a regular basis, it's basically useless, because red meat contains plenty of creatine. and your body can only absorb so much of it Furthermore, creatine's strength benefits are minor, and there are no real hypertrophy benefits.

The following are also useless:

HMB

Amino acids (spend your money on fucking protein- it's made of AMINO ACIDS)

anything made by MuscleTech

just about anything by Controlled Labs

weight gainers (try putting whey protein in chocolate milk, fuckface, or just fucking eat something)

To recap:

TRAIN FUCKING HARD.

EAT LIKE A CAVEMAN.

STOP YAMMERING ABOUT INCONSEQUENTIAL SHIT, AND LIFT SOME MORE.

REPEAT.

The end.