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16 July 2009

*Things I Know... and You Should Know as Well

I have had a shitty week, and going on Bodyspace makes me lament my evermore tenuous connection with humanity. As such, I feel it necessary to rant.
Bodyspace truly shakes my faith in humanity, what little of it I have.
  1. The big lifts work best. When in doubt, squat, deadlift, or do heavy overhead press. Thereafter, go to quick lifts and complexes, like cleans, c&p, snatches, the Bear, etc.
  2. No one gives a fuck how much you can leg press. Every leg press machine is different, so there's no basis for comparison between weights. Furthermore, if you're spending enough time on the leg press to brag about that as a lift, you're easily identified as a pussy who's too scared to squat.
  3. Hercules curls are useless. Stop doing them.
  4. Cable crossovers are useless. Stop doing them. If you feel as though you must, use bands instead.
  5. Leg extensions are the primary destructors of knees in the gym, not squats. They don't "warm up your knees". They put an insane amount of shearing stress on the entire joint, and can snap the shit out of your ACL. Stop making excuses, and go squat.
  6. Unless you have 18"+ arms, there is absolutely no reason for you to do concentration curls or kickbacks. None. At all. If you have them, you can afford to waste time in the gym with worthless exercises. until you're there, though, save your energy for shit that works, like heavy barbell curls and close grip bench, or weighted chins and dips.
  7. If you've ever squatted on a swiss ball for anything other than a goof, throw your computer off a bridge and dive off after it. You're an idiot.
That's all I've got for this session. Tune in next time for something a bit more positive, haha.

As I walk through the valley of death, I fear no one because I'm the baddest motherfucker in the goddamned valley.

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Now playing: Hoods - Ghettoblaster
via FoxyTunes

4 comments :

  1. Word of advice ... you are direct linking to images hosted on other sites and may be considered a bandwidth thief by them. That may not bother you, but you are at risk of being goatse'd.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Word of advice - stop trolling send that as an email.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had to look at the pic twice to get the "squatting on a swiss ball" bit.
    I got the scars and breaks to show I can be stupid, but THAT... Defies words. And that's BEFORE you start putting weight on....

    ReplyDelete
  4. God I hope that swiss ball guy got a Darwin award.

    ReplyDelete