07 September 2010

Enough Already- Sex and Baddassery Are Definitively Interwined, Part 2.

Never before have I been so pleased at my ability to sow the seeds of discord as i have been with this series of blogs.  Frankly, I thought that everyone could agree that we should all fuck more and masturbate more, since getting off is pretty much the best fucking thing to happen in the history of forever.

Apparently, I was wrong.  Some of you, it appears, find that it saps you of your will to live, or something, which is as hilarious as it is sad.  Still others are deeply convinced by a study done in China that cumming more than once every seven days is less than optimal.  That's understandable, I suppose, because recent studies have shown that 9/10 of the people on Earth suck really fucking hard, and 19/20 of the people on the planet suck anywhere between a lot and really fucking hard.(Study I just made up)

First, a logical argument for constant sexual stimulation.  It's been definitively proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that libido is heavily dependent on testosterone in both men and women.  For both, supplemental testosterone is positively indicated to treat hypoactive sexual desire, which would indicate that more testosterone creates more sex drive.  For evidence of this, you merely need to google it- I'm not going to post citations to the dozens and dozens of studies that corroborate my statement.  Should you feel the need to do so, feel free- I assure you that this is for all intents and purposes an incontrovertible fact.  Given that this is a fact, it would stand to reason that engaging in sexual activity would not negatively affect your sex drive, as to do so would defeat the purpose of the rise in testosterone in the first place.  Additionally, it would defy the biological imperative towards procreation, and diminish one's interest in sexual activity, which would indicate that one's genetic material would not get passed on to subsequent generations.  Thus, the idea that fucking or jerking off would lower test levels is fucking absurd.

Casting logic aside, as so many people appear to do when it comes to sex, let's continue to look at the science.  First, a recent study has shown that optimal sexual performance requires hormonal changes that are best developed through regular sexual activity.
"Our results showed that a 9-day training period was not sufficient for some male rats to acquire a good level of sexual performance. While 42.5% of the rats displayed excellent sexual performance during the training sessions, 17.5% showed adequate performance, 7.5% had low sexual activity, and 32.5% of the rats did not display any sexual behaviors whatsoever. Additionally, after 4 days of training, rats with excellent/adequate performance showed a significant decrease in ejaculation latency relative to the first day of training. The rats with low or no sexual activity had lower progesterone levels relative to those displaying the highest sexual performance after 9 days of training. Testosterone, in turn, was also significantly reduced in animals with low/no sexual performance compared with excellent/adequate rats."(Tufik, et al.)
This means that fucking/jerking off a great deal will reduce your downtime, make you a better lay, and will raise your testosterone levels.  Given that it's my supposition (backed by science) that sexual activity raises testosterone levels, this is fairly compelling- not only does it raise your test levels, but it provides you with the necessary biological response to get you laid more, rather than less (as the obliquely cited Chinese study above would assert).
Built for sex.

As an aside- practice makes fucking perfect with sex.  There are entire books devoted to helping you train to be a better lay (like Built for Sex and Nate Green's book), and everyone from urologists to sex therapists recommend that masturbation is the perfect way to prime the pump for people with low libidos.  Additionally, for those of you who might be a little quick on the draw, there's some evidence that compulsive levels of masturbatory activity will increase your staying power and your turnaround time. That's just a little icing on the cake for you.  If knights in the Middle Ages would practice fucking goose down with 30 lbs of weights attached to their hips so they could fuck without removing their armor, you people can spend a few hours a week jerking it like you mean it so you're not firing the second you get out of the gate when some broad finally gets naked for you.
Ready to fuck his way through his codpiece, if need be.

For those ladies out there, personal experience and some studies I failed to cite gave compelling evidence that masturbation is pretty much essential for your sex drives and markedly increase your chances of cumming during sex (although overuse of pocket rockets seem to desensitize the clit like no other, so take it easy with those things).  As I cited in the last blog, orgasms raise female test levels as well, and will thus make you stronger, leaner, and generally more awesome in just about every way, so start giving it up (at least to yourselves, if not to anyone else).

Next, there's no evidence whatsoever supporting the idea that orgasms from sex or onanism in any way have a negative physical effect on athletic performance, and there is some evidence showing that sex within 24 hours of competition actually improves it.  (BFS 205, and Discovery News)  There's anecdotal evidence, however, that the psychological affect of sex can have an either positive or negative effect on athletic performance, but it's unknown whether this is due to some particular psychological makeup, or if it's simply a placebo effect.  I'm inclined toward the latter, due to the fact that many people appear to convince themselves that certain activities or supplements will result in a given effect and create the perception of the effect simply by willing it to be so.  If your body can reduce your perception of pain due to the expectation of a reduction in pain (Mind Matters), then it would stand to reason that you could either suck or kick ass in athletics from the placebo effect as well.

Finally, and in direct relation to the title of this blog- there's direct evidence that badassery and a prolific sex life are intertwined.  One really needs to look no further than Genghis Khan, who was both the penultimate badass and the most impressive sexual athlete of all time.  There's really no evidence of a dedicated masturbatory schedule for Genghis, but this is likely due to the fact that he was far too busy fucking and killing to have a spare moment for masturbation- .5% of the people in the world trace their lineage to Genghis (34,336,748.6 people on Earth can honestly call him their super-great-grandpa) and the Mongols are credited with the deaths of 40 million people.  Additionally, he was credited with having "great physical strength", so any idea that he was weakened by sex can be discarded.
Right up there with Genghis was Rasputin, proud owner of a cervix-destroying 13" Godzilla cock, the ability to control the weather, massive physical strength, and the only libido on Earth that could match Genghis's.  He fucked every broad on whom he laid eyes, including the Empress of Russia, and survived be poisoned, shot multiple times, stabbed, and strangled, only to die of drowning after he was tossed into a river.
He might seem like a douche, but this "bad boy" gets more ass than a toilet seat at NASCAR... and he fucks Keira Knightley.

At this point, it should come as no shock to you that bad boys (who demonstrably possess more testosterone than "nice guys") get far more ass than "nice guys".(Nice Guys)  I would attribute this to a variety of factors, but they all boil down to testosterone in the end- guys with more test have more masculine facial features, better bodies, harder and bigger cocks, and smell better (due to their heightened immune system), all of which increase their attractiveness to women. (I have no specific citation here, but check out the Anatomy of Love, the Anatomy of Sex, and sundry Discovery Channel and TLC programs on this)
The Jewish god killed Onan because he refused to knock up his brother's wife, not because he jacked it or blew his loads on her back.

If you're unconvinced, at this point, that extraordinarily frequent orgasms are hormonally essential and indispensable for your overall health, you're either dyslexic or a fundamentalist Christian.  In the first case, seek medical attention, and in the latter case, you need to reread the Bible and investigate the definitions of words like "adultery" in the historical sense.  You'll be pleasantly surprised at what you find.  For the rest of you- get off as much as you can, and not only will you be some ridiculously happy motherfuckers, but you'll see positive changes in body recomposition, overall wellness, and athletic performance.

Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Alvarenga TA, Andersen ML, and Tufik S. Influence of progesterone on sexual performance in male rats. J Sex Med 2010;7:2435–2444.

Grayson, A.  Why Nice Guys Finish Last: New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys.  http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5197531&page=1
Hays, Scott.  Built for Sex.  NYC: Rodale, 2005.

Mirsky J.  Expectancy and the Placebo Effect: How Cognitive Processing Utilizes the rACC to Alter the Perception of Pain.  Mind Matters: The Wesleyan Journal of Psychology; 2007:2 19-28.

Sohn, E.  WORLD CUP 2010: CAN ABSTINENCE AFFECT ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE? http://news.discovery.com/human/world-cup-soccer-abstinence.html


  1. I agree with you that frequent 'monkey sessions' increase sexual endurance. At the age of 13, I use to 'empty the mayonnaise jar' so much it usually took 25-40 mins to blow a load.
    Now seeing that it'll increase my athletics performance... W00t! Now excuse while I say hello to the one eyed monster before my sqauts. FUCK YOU JAMIE for bringing back the best gift I ever had.

  2. My wife and I try to get in 100 sessions a month. Doesn't always happen but it's a worthy goal nonetheless.

  3. Glen, will that be covered in your blog?

  4. Yeah, that joke just keeps getting funnier, kid.

  5. I am 100% in agreeance with you that fucking is amazing and great for health, test, etc.

    Still don't buy it on masturbation. It just makes me lazy and more likely to eat potato chips and sit on the couch than go lift and chase tail. But that could just be me.

    Fucking = doing heavy squats
    Masturbation = leg extensions

    The times in my life when I have been having the best sex are correlated to the times when I was kicking ass in the gym. Never put it together until now.

  6. so what cha sayin is instead of reading this weeks blog go watch a fuck load of porn? done and done. lol.

  7. I bated twice while reading this blog.


  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Jesus fucking christ, here's how you don't get lazy after masturbating: you stand up and leave, you worthless shitbag. Your weak mind makes you lazy.

  10. Who is that Crossfit Velma looking chick?

  11. Just watched south parks "sexual HEaling" episode fn hilarious.

  12. You know who else likes to fuck all the time?


    So stop trying to justify your chronic masturbation and find yourself a chick with an extra 21st chromosome, get her hooked on meth and put 50lbs on your squat.

  13. Jamie, I love your blog, I just hate how the comment sections get heap upon heap of comments from retards. Anyway, since my comment in your last blog got buried underneath a mountain of retard comments I'll try and ask again.

    If my lower back is the weak link in deadlifts, what would you recommend to strengthen it? Thanks, MQ

  14. 100 sessions Jesus, Hugh Hefner would be astonished by that goal. haha

  15. Nice Bloodhound Gang reference, solid blog as usual dude.

  16. Interesting post Jamie. You wrote about the effects of sex on lifting, but I have anecdotal evidence of the effect of lifting on sex.

    So I used to casually sleep with a girl who really likes a hard and forceful pounding in bed. When I first started fucking her I was totally out of shape and there was nothing I could do to her that was hard enough. Plus, I am blessed with a multi-orgasmic penis, which means I usually cum the first time around 30 seconds after entering the vagina, but I can just go on and on without getting soft and cum up to 5 or 6 times in one session with no stopping. That basically means I fuck until I want it to be over, and not until my penis wants it to be over. Being, so out of shape, I usually had to stop after something like 10 minutes, because I was huffing and puffing like after a 10 mile run.

    Then I stopped seeing her, and I started lifting heavy, doing squats, deadlifts and all the good stuff that defintely added a lot of strength to my pelvic thrusting motion. Anyways, I met that girl again in a club, and I took her home for old times sake. Only this time able to deliver it to her so hard that she started whincing in pain after something like 5 minutes and asked me to do her more softly, hahaha. Since I am a nice guy and not some kind of rapist I obliged, but after a very, very long fuck-session she was totally amazed and asked me what I had done to become such a "steelhammer".

    Anyways, my point is this: Sex doesnt only help lifting, lifting also helps sex!


  17. Jamie... advising Fundamentalist Christians to reproduce is highly irresponsible near the end of this blog entry are you TRYING to bring more of them into the world??? I'll edit this for you:

    If you are in fact a Fundamentalist Christian thinking about sex, or having a climax is a sin. You should not have sex until married in both the church and on paper, abstain from masturbation and ONLY fuck your wife one a month, in the missionary position only (as doggy style tends to pool sperm on the cervix). Stop thinking about the pleasures of the flesh and instead focus only on your god. Your soul is in danger of hellfire… and quite honestly we need you guys to stop reproducing completely. Actually let's include this for fundamentalists of all religions… stop reproducing…. please.

  18. Glen 100 a month is a worthy goal. My fiance and I are long distance still, but we got in around 100 sessions on her last 3 week visit. We pretty much lost count.

    100 fuck sessions a month... who needs cardio? LoL

    To the one mentioning being out of breath 10 minutes in... easy change positions and if you are going to embark on hour long fuck fests you need to learn to switch to positions after the initial pounding that allow both of you to keep at it. Scissors and the spooning position are both great for sustained fucking without support muscles cramping up or joints starting to get sore 30 minutes into your marathon fuck session.

  19. Michael Quinn, how much do you deadlift right now? If it's less than 495
    Hell, I already know it's less than 495
    You need to do more deadlifts. Failing that, more pulling in general. If your lower back is your weakness then you're quite simply just weak at pulling and need to get better at it. If you were doing some goofy 5x5 routine from the Internet up until now I'm guessing you pull less than 365 and have been deadlifting with extremely half-assed volume. Probably squatting even less. That's why your lower back is still weak, not because you're missing some magic asssitance exercise. Start using more deadlifts, rack pulls, high pulls, power cleans.
    And stop fucking whining. No one is obligated to answer off-topic questions. Jamie is notified every time a comment is made so there's no way he missed your little query. Obviously just didn't feel like answering it. Go cry.

  20. M Quinn -
    Agreed, if you are DLing less than 2.5x BW, you just need to continue pulling (possibly with more volume or frequency).

    If you are at a high-ish level already, try defecit deads, rack pulls, one-armed deads, etc.

  21. Glen = douchebag with Mommy issues.

    Check out the article "deadlift 5 plates like a champion" at wannabebig.com, it's got specific info on how to up a DL with assistance work.

  22. Actually, I don't have the notifications on, as I detest the constant stream of emails. As I've said in practically every comment thread- email me with questions, especially when they have nothing whatsoever to do with the topic at hand. I speed-read, and if my subconscious tells me it's not worth reading, I don't. As to the question, Glen's dead on- do more pulling. Deadlift and squat lockouts will strengthen it as well, but I find cleans are the best way to condition your body for deads.

    Alex- There's nothing quite so satisfying as displacing a cervix. Good call.

    JasonDB- Scissors/one of her legs between both of yours, is the single best casual/lazy fucking position on the planet. One can fuck for days like that.

    I have no evidence to support this other than personal anecdotal evidence, but I'm convinced very frequent sex makes you leaner.

  23. As to the Velma-looking broad, by the way, I have no idea. Message the guy at Team Gorilla- he might know. Incidentally, his website, linked to the right, is nothing but ridiculously hot crossfitters (redundant much?)

  24. Jamie I agree. My fiance and I have to use this a lot becuase we only get to fuck when she visits and end up going at it 4 or 5 hours a day to make up for lost time considering we both have pretty insane sex drives.

    You can only do doggy style (her favorite), missionary and reverse cowgirl (my favorite due to the angle) so long before both partners are cramping and exhausted... afterwhich scissors lets you continue fucking when no other position is easy or pain-free.

    I agree that lots of sex leads to fat loss. Her and I both lost over 5 lbs during the last 3 week visit. Sex, particularly cumming, elevates body tempurate, heart rate and breathing... and I think the more times someone climaxs a day during sex probably plays the largest role in leaning one out.

  25. hahah the most entertaining blog on the net, hands down.
    Jamie, visit us on the Power&Bulk board
    you'd fit perfectly there.

  26. Ok, ok, i've just gone and fucked my sister in the ass, and i can attest to the fact that fucking ugly women is BETTER than fucking men in the ass (my brother)!!! My deadlift's now up to 63kg (138lb)!!! And NO steroids, i'm fucking serious!!! Thank you Jamie.xxx

  27. Jaimie, after reading the post you linked I did my first C&P inspired workout today .

    3x5x185lbs then 5x2x205lbs. (Pathetic but I tought i'd be even weaker after not training for more than 8 months.)
    3x5x85lbs. (Could have done some more but I think it would have affected my boxing training, I'll try to do more weight/reps next time and see the outcome.)
    Towel Pull-ups
    50 (Didn't take in reps or set, I only aimed to do 25 of them when I started but I did some more when I got back home.)
    Sandbag(100lbs) bearhug walk
    10 time trough my backyard.

    Strenous and fun as hell, I won't look back again to any other type of training.

  28. There goes JasonDB again. Fucker knows EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW and spouts off in rambling paragraphs. Dude...go somewhere else and pat yourself on the back. You're terrible.

  29. Glen, I'd like to know why you don't think the Stronglift's 5x5 program isn't good for beginners. I'm serious, I've seen a couple comments now from you expressing your dislike toward it.

    I for one began with that program, and have become a pretty strong motherfucker at 17. Would you suggest something more along the lines of Jamie's methodology for the beginner?

  30. Thanks to whoever posted that above. My deadlift PR at the moment is 166 kgs. Yes Glen, you're right, I squat less than that.

    I was previously doing 5x5 for bench and squats, and it got me some progress but I got fucking sick of it. Yeah I suspected that deads would be the thing to bring my deads up. I was just kinda pissed I blew my wad on 4 sets of triples for deads when guys like Jamie can do it for 10 sets.

    Ah well, more fucking pulling is in order!

  31. My "real daddy" up there. I may or may not have mommy issues but you've clearly got Glen issues. Not that I can blame you; I am obviously quite the specimen.
    If you deadlift less than five plates you don't need a list of assistance exercises from a website for wannabe lifters. You need to shut the fuck up and deadlift five plates already.
    What is it like to suck at lifting weights? To obsess over a hobby that you're clearly not cut out for and have no instinct for whatsoever so much that you'll scour the Internet for tips that don't do you any good. Must be depressing.
    Is it as bad or worse than not being able to get yourself laid?

    I used to like a scene in Excalibur when Uther fucked his enemy's wife without taking his armour off. I thought it was hilarious for years. Never knew they actually did that in real life.

    Anonymous, define "pretty strong motherfucker at 17." If you had success with the program then good for you. Any program will work for someone determined enough to make it work for him. That being said, I still think it's a bullshit, cookie-cutter program and I'm glad it never existed when I was a beginner. Most of the dipshits using it are goofs who don't and will never have what it takes to make the weights do what they want them to do regardless of what program they do ever. So they search the Internet for a low volume saving grace embraced by other clowns who've all got one thing in common: They never made any progress in the weightroom. This isn't because they're genetically disabled, drug free or were lied to by "the magazines." It's because they're goofs who, in any other decade, would never have decided to try and become weight lifters anyway because the iron game is totally not suited for them.
    When I first started lifting we lifted weights every day and on weekends we'd lift for hours. Anybody who couldn't keep up or obviously didn't have that inborn curiosity to see just how far he could push himself disappeared before long.
    Being a beginner is a fucking joke now. Every standard has been lowered so that everybody can play.
    Jamie's methodology would be fine for a beginner. You'd be thinking for yourself anyway and would eventually become your own lifter rather than just a copy of every other moob-chested, mouse-clicking retard.

  32. Fact is, Stronglifts and Starting Strength have been helping many people get into the lifting game.

    If I came across this site, or Glen's blog, I wouldn't have shits worth of a clue of where to start or how. Starters need some guidance. And it works.

    So, slag on SL5x5, slag on GOMAD, slag on Rippetoe, they are doing something good.

    I'm glad I finally read this site to know that SL and Rippetoe weren't the be all end all of advice, but I wouldn't be here without them, and the same for a few others I'm sure.

  33. I posted a somewhat detailed response to your 5x5 question a couple of hours ago but it doesn't seem to be here now. Oh well, suffice it to say that it's shit and so are the majority of dipshits using it. Most of them will remain shit too.

  34. I found this site without the help of Stronglifts and I don't see the correlation between discovering this site and using Stronglifts.

    The guidance part I can agree with, but those other programs aren't the only ones who supply it. If you can't roll through this blog (or any other number of informative sources) and put something together for yourself, you might need to go back to school and take some critical thinking and reading comprehension classes.

    That being said...

    My love for you is ticking clock, BERSERKER!
    Would like you like to suck my cock, BERSERKER!
    My love for you is like a truck, BERSERKER!
    Would you like to making fuck, BERSERKER!

    8================D~~~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~~ ~

  35. "I posted a somewhat detailed response to your 5x5 question a couple of hours ago but it doesn't seem to be here now. Oh well, suffice it to say that it's shit and so are the majority of dipshits using it. Most of them will remain shit too."

    Ah well, I really wish you'd give an explanation as to why. Suffice it to say that about a year of my 2 years training career was Stronglifts, and I've managed to attain a very high level of strength. So pretty much, my "proof" (although I can't really prove anything on here) contradicts what you're saying. And I'd like to know why you think that way.

    Genetics, luck... call it what you want, but 5x5 programs worked for me and many others dude.

  36. Glen, you never fail to amaze. First of all, the 5x5 has been around longer than you have. It’s not magic. Plenty of people have had great luck and success with it. And any beginner of anything, whether it is learning a trade, stamp collecting, shooting, skydiving, engine repair, EMT, etc., etc., has to start somewhere and LEARN.
    A person is not a “dipshit” for asking about a 5x5, or destined to remain one forever, simply for asking.
    As for you, you truly want to think you are some sort of genius about this stuff, but I hate to tell you, you are not spitting the atom or doing brain surgery here, it’s lifting weights. That’s all. I’ll admit your lifts are good. Good for you. But you are not setting world records or anything, so what makes you think you have all the available knowledge on this subject?
    What have you brought to the table here? Wrist curls? Wrist curls! Wow, that’s incredible.
    I am looking forward to your blog. At the least, it’s going to be entertaining.

  37. For the record, I started C&P as a beginner. Not an absolutely raw beginner, but I was doing dumbbell bullshit and other nonsense, with some light squats here and there. Kind of like going from P90X to C&P.

  38. I wish every other comment here wasn't about Glen's non-existent blog.

  39. Maybe if he wouldn't act like this place is his blog, people would stop bringing it up.

  40. You shitheads sure take your online time seriously, don't you? Everybody gets their feelings hurt because I mock their little 5x5. Too funny.

  41. Delusions of grandeur…

  42. C&P,

    You need help. Trust me I know.


  43. I keep hearing about Glen's blog. Kudos to you, Glen. Not everybody is worthy of writing a blog. Way to step up to the challenge.

  44. Glen, I kind of like your input; keep it up. I strength train high school kids for football and only use a 5x5 'type' regimen on the rawest of beginners and then only to get their form correct. Once a kid 'gets it,' he's going up. By implementing a pull for every push, i.e. supersetting bench with pullups, their shoulders stay healthy. I don't push to failure, though they may not get the odd power clean. In any event, using singles, doubles, triples, I've seen 15 yr. olds increase their bench press by 50 pounds in a summer, power clean by 40 pounds, and squat by 100 pounds. And as a 40 yr. old training myself, after 25 years of lifting, bodybuilding style workouts and 5x5 stuff is just so fucking BORING. Hell, I'd rather just do pushups and run or something, be outside. Pick the exercises you want to get strong in and kill those lifts - high volume with lots of sets and low reps. It's target practice.

  45. This is just speculation, but I think you all need to shut the fuck up. If I hear 5x5 again I will stick my dick in the mashed potatoes and then you will eat it.

  46. Ok you fucking motherfuckers, i've started my own fucking blog. Now shut the fuck up and get on over there. You'll see from the home page i'm also into jiu jitsu. Here's some of the shit layed down for you fucking pussies to try out. But it's hard, real hard, and leaves me fucking stiff for ages afterwards. Peace out.

  47. Glen, you're such a child man, I never once complained that you were "mocking" 5x5, I only asked why you don't think it works. Simple question, simple answer, but you don't give it and instead take the time to write useless comments like that.

    Never fails to amaze me how some people never grow up.

  48. Ok you fucking idiots, since you can't handle it yourself, I made a program. It's called "The Glen MacCharles 6x6". Because 5x5 isn't enough, you pussies. It'll get you nice and strong to stomp some hobos in my rough Canadian town (not an oxymoron).

  49. Anonymous poster is angry. Seriously, you Nancy boys can't even come up with a fake name to attach to your comments, so that everybody can tell which retard is which?


  50. There we go, 5x5 isn't enough, you say. I guess that's a decent answer, thanks for making the effort.

    @Simon: Haha, anonymous poster is not angry, just prodding for an answer from Glen, who seems to be getting angry about it.

    It was just a simple question, you guys have to settle down.

  51. I'm not a fan of cookie cutter programs. Like I said before I wrote a pretty lengthy response before and for whatever reason it's not there now. I can't be bothered writing it all out again, simple as that.

    Did you take the time to search for a gay blog to post as mine or was it already saved in your favourites? At least you spelled my name right.

  52. Ok cool. Haha, that wasn't me, but I clicked on that fucking link, and managed to X the hell out of it before it loaded.

  53. I still maintain spanking it is suboptimal. I think this whole argument confuses cause with effect. High T levels means, probably, lots of sex. That doesn't mean lots of spanking the monkey causes high T levels. Look at gorillas. The alpha fucks gorilla pussy, and obviously has much higher t levels than the beta gorillas who are spanking it. Consider Western Civilization when it was super badassed; in victorian times. Those dudes didn't choke the chicken. Hipsters whip their wires all the time, and when was the last time they conquered South Africa?

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