08 June 2010

Ask the Asshole #6... Results Time

Let me start off by stating that there's no such thing as stupid questions... just stupid people.  If you've got questions, feel free to shoot me an email at chaos_and_pain@yahoo.com, and I'll answer them.  That stated, if you ask a particularly stupid question, I will mock you for it.

First off, I've never trained kids.  I don't like kids, don't know any kids, and pretty much studiously avoid children.  That said, this guy has pretty much got the fucking greatest endorsement of CnP of all time, and he uses it to train kids.  Plus, he's putting his kids to good use, which is a refreshing change from the general trend of a nationwide competition to produce the noisiest, fattest, dumbest asshole kid ever.

His email:
Those are my two sons in the pic with me. My oldest 15 has been spotting me since he was 7. The youngest spots his brother and holds my boards.

They both have their own lifting regimens. Me and my oldest boy decided to add CnP to our workouts about four months ago for wrestling season and stuck with it. It really helps with explosiveness! We pretty much do heavy singles/doubles mixed with 5/3/1 as a warm-up, just to track progress. The youngest does a circuit of 5x80lb deads-10 pull ups-15 burpees-20 feet elevated push ups, as fast as he can for 5 sets. They are gonna be beasts! 

You can see the two of them get down on YouTube wrestling. Check out 'lele messin' around again' I'm the big block coaching in the background. Think of them as a CnP teen lifting proteges. They fuck shit up! CnP is the shit.

A:  That shit is just fucking cool.  Does that seem like a recipe for disaster?  Yep, but the broken jaw when that bar slips out of his hands will make his mouth more chaotic.  And painful.

That email came in the spate of emails I got about doing the same lift everyday.  I got a gang of them, none of which called me an asshole because someone lost weight/died/got cancer of the AIDS/lost strength, or anything else negative. 

  •  5 day of traditional deadlift in a row and I hit a 20 lb. PR. Failed on that weight the day before, pulled it the next. Went from 405 to 425 (I'm a sumo puller, so this is way off my best pull of 475, but still). Feeling great and planning on pulling again today. Normally deadlift wrecks me, but I'm so used to it after only 5 days that I think I could keep this up for quite some time. I'll keep you in the loop as I hit more PR's.  
  • [Same guy, a day or two later] Funny story. Just did second session of the day. 435 went up EASY. Camera ran out of memory though, so I tried again. This time I pulled 445 and got it on video. So that's a 40 lb. total PR in 6 days of deadlifting. Haha.
  •  From CnP's wordiest adherent... you guys know and love him... 1. Doing bench press every day, at 5 sets of triples at 10 lbs. did not cause me to lose strength in BP. The previous week, I brought my 5 x 3 weight up to 235, but for the week I dropped it to 225 starting on the second day.

    2. Each day, I supersetted the BP with a squat or a deadlift, alternating the days (BP + squat on M, W, and F, BP + DL on T & Th). As you can see in my logs, supersetting the lifts, which “conventional wisdom” says “never do this!” did not impact either the BP or the other lift.

    3. Nearly every day I attempted a PR. Each time I came very close. On Friday (deep into the week) I hit a partial squat PR and blew my previous PR away by something like 20 or 30 lbs. I think. Clearly, this level of lifting did not demolish my body’s ability to push.

    4. All of this was done while eating 5 – 15 grams of carbs per day. ZERO supplements other than protein shakes (just whey, casein, egg, etc.), 3 fish oil caps a day, 3 glucosamine/MSM caps a day, and 1 Animal Pak a day. I stopped taking trib after a 6 week experiment ages ago (last time I took it was early February I think) so I am 100% natural, and then some. Remember, I do not even consume caffeine. As we can see, a lack of carbs did not hurt my ability to lift, even after 5 days and supplements were not needed for this either.

    5. I still had enough gas in the tank after 5 days of this to spend Saturday doing loading/spotting for ten hours at a PL meet; I had a light breakfast that day and 2 slices of pizza for lunch, and that was my only food between 8 AM and 8 PM. There was only 1 break, about 30 minutes halfway through. I had full mental acuity and body strength, no back pains/cramps, or any other ill effects other than being super hungry.

    6. After all of this Monday I came into the gym and blasted bench press again and managed to set a PR for triples… at 10 lbs. less than my 1RM. I think that is proof that training a lift every day for 5 days straight does not necessarily burn you out on that lift.

    DL PR attempt (failed on lockout) from the second day of the week and a 675 lb. partial squat PR from the 5th day of the week.
  • I squatted for 7 days. First 3 days I was sore but ok. Day 4 and I was hurting. I could barely walk. I decided to try massage and hobbling around the block to move the lactic acid out of my legs. On days 4 and 5 my weight was way off (but I still squatted). By day 6 I was feeling better and on day 7 I was squatting the same weight as day 1! I'll be going for a squat PR this week.
    I went for the PR on deadlift. I chose day 7 because I was feeling good. I made it, kinda. I pulled 495 for 2. Best I've done so far is 495 for a single.

    Thanks for the challenge Jamie. It was fun and I learned 3 things.
    I wasn't squatting enough before. Too much time on the bench press. That's changed now.
    I can do a lot more than I thought I could.
    Age doesn't mean shit. I'm damn near 51 and I've got a lot of room to grow and get better.
  • From the handstand pushups guy on chaosandpain.com, who's not had access to a gym, so he's just been lifting a fucking rock every day:  The results of lifting the rock for a week straight were nothing short of fucking amazing. Although the rock isn't getting any lighter, my work rate has increased massively and I gained a fuckton of strength. When I started it was a battle to pull it off the ground, by the end I was pulling it twice in a relatively short amount of time, and I just ripped it off the ground 3 times in about a 15 second span. I also have the lighter rock which I can shoulder fairly easily now, so I don't touch it except for gripping it any which way seems possible, cleaning it and then pressing it. The other parts of my training have consisted of dips and a lot of variations on the broad jump.

    Oh, and I've also been training for almost 20 days without stopping now, alternating between lifting the heavy rock and doing grip work and broad jumps, with the longest break from lifting the heavier rock having been 3 or 4 days.


Draw your own conclusions.  I'm not going to post all of the emails I received, because they all essentially state the same thing- the harder you push yourself, the better your body adapts.

Another email I got recently that was fairly fucking badass was the following:

Those were just two of the pics he sent, but the dude gained almost 4 lbs of LBM and lost 4% bodyfat in 6 weeks training  "balls to the wall 6 days a week with two workouts a day."  He also "dropped 3/4 of an inch off my waist, gained an inch and a half on my chest, and inch and a quarter on my arms, a quarter inch on my forearms, a half inch on my neck, and an inch on my quads. Overall I dropped from 12 to 8% body fat and lost 1 lb of body weight overall, 155 down to 152 lbs." My strength gains in my upper body have added 20 to 30 lbs on each lift, but my lower body lifts have stayed about the same, at least they haven't declined. I [attribute] the lack of progress in legs, to running 3 miles three days a week (the running is solely for the Army) and for the last month I have been training for a 25K Road March in 50 lbs of body armor and gear that will be taking place at the end of June. It averages over 100 degrees by 9 AM now so needless to say I sweat my ass off sitting in the tent all day long."  

His diet: 
  • 3500-4000 cals a day, using carb cycling style diet, because it's too hard to go keto with the food options at the chow hall. 
  • supplements with protein powder (monster milk). 
  • takes in 
  • between 300-350 grams of protein a day and cycles the carbs and fats depending on my workouts for the day. He finds himself stuffing himself every meal (7-8) to get this in, as the heat destroys his appetite.
The rest of his email: "Now I am completely satisfied with the strength gains, and I think that eventually when I get out of the desert I can get the strength increases in my lower body lifts, but I am on the hunt for some mass. I would love to see 170 at 7-8% BF. Any advice would be outstanding. I know I am going against a lot to gain in the desert, but I will not be satisfied with mediocre results. Do you have any more tips, on going for mass, I have read probably 99% of your stuff and applied as much as I can while in the sand box. Also, I read about the methyl mass, how do you feel about PHs in general and if so do you have any particular favorites or stack?"
A:  My best bodyweight gains have come in the last 6-8 months, in which I've utilized a very high calorie ketogenic diet punctuatedcarb carb up with a cheat meal on Friday night.  I'm leaning out somewhat slowly, but my bodyweight is basically the same, and after carbups I'm actually heavier than I was when I started to keto diet again.  For you, the cessation of all of that fucking running in the heat nonsense will be the key, I think.  

As for prohormones, I'm a moderate fan of them.  There's a lot of chaff from which you have to separate the wheat, but I love the Methyl Mass, and I recently heard of Rage RV8, which is the old Halodrol, Superdrol, and Trenbolone blended together.  Your liver will hate you, but if you double or triple the dose, I'm betting you'll gain a considerable amount of weight.  You won't however, likely pass a steroid test on that shit.  That's a stack in and of itself, but you could always use that with the MM preworkout, and then load the fuck up on liver support, haha.

So, there you have it.  Apparently, the Bulgarians weren't wrong- if you train more, be you old, a little kid, or a goofball lifting a rock in your yard while wearing clothes you stole from a kid at the public library, you will get fucking stronger.  

If anyone had shitty results, I haven't heard about it.  I ended up benching 385 with no lift and no spotter the Monday after benching 9 times in that week, which I'd not even done prior to my elbow surgery.  

More's not always better, but I'll continue to keep erring on that side, because the alternative is being fat, weak, AND lazy, rather than just fat and weak, haha.     


  1. after reading that shit I'm wanting to go for a second session today!

  2. Yo that what Boni's mom said 2 me too! Hahahahahahahaha

  3. Found out about your site last week.

    Definitely the wake up call I needed.

    Carry on with the badassery.

  4. Yo M_D,

    Welcome 2 the site man. Jamie a/k/a ChAos and PAIN pretty much runs this joint. He holds it down really tight, laying down all sorts of philosopy and techniques.

    People refer to me as the "Asian Chaos and Pain," a title that I didn't ask for but earned. I had no idea what I was getting into when I started my youtube channel. http://www.youtube.com/user/YoCard. So feel free 2 peruse the website. I think you'll find alot of informative advise, but be forewarned: there are a lot of h8rs prowling this site.

    It's a dirty game yo.


  5. I am really hoping Dracoy's posts are completely serious.

  6. 'a goofball lifting a rock in your yard while wearing clothes you stole from a kid at the public library'


  7. I tip my hat to that dad for being involved with his kids.

  8. why do I strongly feel that not one person in the entire world has ever called Dracoy the "asian chaos and pain"?

  9. That kid with the BFR is the best.

  10. I just want to say thanks. My wife gave birth to our first child a couple of months ago and I started us on the CnP routine after the doctors cleared her for exercise again. And it has been awesome! We both have plenty of energy to keep up with our new son. She is already well below her pre-pregnancy weight and hasn't needed help opening a jar in a few weeks. I am lifting more weight and and have better muscle definition than ever before.

  11. 'a goofball lifting a rock in your yard while wearing clothes you stole from a kid at the public library'

    Yeah, that seems like an adequate description of me.

    What fucking sucks is that that rock's got asstons of cracks running through it and one of the ends is brittle and falling apart from all the fucking rain here. As a result though, I had to transition into lifting it in a bearhug, and even managed to lift a cinder block with it, holding it with my hands from around the stone. Shit took a lot of skin out of the crook of my elbow.

  12. Anonymous dad, a better question is: How much can you kid deadlift?

  13. That's fucking metal.

    And anonymous- you're welcome. Shoot me an email with sample workouts... I never envisioned my lifting style as suitable for a couple with a baby, or for taking off baby weight, haha.

  14. How did trib work out for the old man (51 year old guy)?

  15. The fact that you don't like kids says reams about you. You really are a sad little man. Were you buggered as a teenager or something? Something is certainly wrong with you. You may not like kids but boy oh boy do you love men oiled up in man panties.

  16. Rant, it's time for you to run along. Unless you want to lurk around and see a blog that is really interesting. And it's run by a guy that actually looks like he lifts weights.

  17. Hahaha. Let him continue- the depressed weakling is a font of information, and provides extremely valid insight into my psyche. I'm riveted! What does a dislike of children say about me? Psychoanalysis by self-professed chronic depressives who consider paperweighted exercise to be weightlifting never fails to be fascinating.

  18. Yeah, I'm convinced Dracoy is not serious in the least. Lord knows if he ever stopped doing adductor exercises and met me face to face, I'd knock the slant out of his face.

    I think Rant's a gimmick, too. We've all been had, fellas, by these two people who ride Jamie's scrote in order to seek some sort of cyber adulation because they'd never show their faces in the real world: nobody knows what Rant looks like (suffice to say small, probably pale, and not the least bit muscular) and ol' zipperhead exists only on youtube.

    I feel much better having come to these realizations.

    Jamie, awesome article, once again.

  19. Hey Rant...Brock Mandlebar here! So you are still trolling the internet looking to find anonymous legitimacy despite your laughable "credentials" that you laud as noteworthy and somehow enviable.

    For those in the audience - Rant played a sport (two of them actually) at a junior college and regularly takes it upon himself to lecture real athletes, with real acheivements, despite his clear historical and current inferiority.

    Challenging people on the internet is actually one step above begging for anonymous e-approval, so I applaud your progress, you man-child.

    You are the most impressive mirror staring sycophant I have ever met! That is quite the achievement, given that my profession is filled to the brim with risk averse automatons who would do anything to edge the next guy out, while meticulously preserving an air of passivity.

    While I am not one of Jamie's rote adherents, I do find his brand of caricature much more tolerable than your brand of "never was," shoe-horned into an old "try hard's" body, pleading for the world's respect.

    If anything speaks "reams" about anyone, it is your consistent braggadocio viz a viz the underperformance that colors your life accomplishments.

  20. For the record C&P asked me to join the discussions to punch things up a bit. I find you all a bunch of laughable douchebags. I'm better than all of you. I bring sites to life.

  21. As if the discussions around here need to be "punched up"..

  22. Meanwhile, that Scooby retard on youtube is giving lectures on how everyone is a hardgainer, and can expect to gain 10 pounds of muscle at the very most in a year of training. His 3-times-a-week workout routine made of pushups and flyes sure is effective!

  23. Never mind, I typed in "scooby weightlifting", and got the answer.
    It's hard to keep up with all these Internet guys.

  24. Wow, this post has inpired me to lift up rant's mom every day, maybe two or three times a day...without hands!! Then, after a while,when I get better at it, I might progress adding other moms in the mix, starting with Dracoy's!!! The most amazing thing is that I'll be wearing a chequered shirt. Whish me luck

  25. hahahahahaha even mr espanol is h8ing

    yo quiero yo momma dracoy

  26. Keep up the hard work Dray. Good on you man

  27. I agree with the previous post. Great work Dray; it's inspiring.

  28. Given that my kid is now 12 weeks old, he can deadlift twice your body weight. ;-)

    -Anonymous dad

  29. If I get fans for looking like a douchebag lifting rocks and doing handstand pushups i will kill myself.

  30. The 51 year old guy is more inspiring. I think people got you confused with him.

  31. fuck yeah.

    Last week I started heavy squating, deadlifting, benching, mil pressing, weighted chins and barbell rowing every second day, with heavy boxing work in-between.

    After six days I got sick and couldn't work out for a day, my bones ached, everything was fucked.

    Next day i forced myself to the gym and kept it up. This time I've needed no rest day whatsoever (i'm on my 8th day in a row). I've been breaking prs whenever I feel like it and my speed and explosiveness is going through the roof. I feel strong as fuck. I wake up at 4:00am hit the gym and destroy shit. Thanks to CnP for inspiring me to push myself.

    I designed an excerice as part of my boxing routine, where I performed suicides, but the on the 2nd sprint I have to snatch a heavy back that I place lying on the ground, hold it up in front squat\snatch position while running back as fast as possible, then shove it as hard as I can forward when i reach the finish. While running with it, your posture has to be straight up so your abs are preventing you from collapsing backwards and your back is preventing you from collapsing forwards. I do this in 6 sets of 3 reps.

    The first days it was a fucking bitch. Now it feels light as shit. As a consequence of the excercise my entire core is solid as fuck, virtually rigid as steel when performing a squat or deadlift.

    Previously I would have thought this was a retarded idea that will get me overtrained. Now I know its a retarded idea that will make me strong. cheers.

  32. I meant heavy punching bag not "back" ha ha.

  33. Jesus yes, the 51 year old makes me want to train until I die. That is fucking inspiring as hell.

    And Jesus Christ, the guy above me is a fucking nails eating badass automatically.

    ...also scooby is a fucking nut guys just don't even talk about him

  34. Suicides with a heavy bag sounds miserable, but I'm betting that'd be an awesome conditioning exercise for strongmen...

  35. Scooby: