In case you missed it, last night I gave you fuckers a brief overview of the history of ketogenic dieting, and an overview of what ketogenic dieting is. Go here for a refresher on what I covered then.
You might be wondering, at this point, how any of this shit pertains to you. Diet, after all, is just about eating the right shit, and every bodybuilding mag on the planet spouts the same shit every fucking month, none of which includes massive bloody steaks dripping with grease- it's all steamed chicken and broccoli and yams and blahdifucking blah blah blah. Exactly.
There are two different approaches to diet, however. There's the thermodynamic approach, which is what bodybuilders and other assorted idiots use, which treats the body like a machine that rolled off a mass-production line, and balances input and output to arrive at a generalized "perfect" dietary plan. Who here is a cybernetic organism sent back in time to kill John Connor?
Exactly. You're not a machine. I guarantee you, your BMR is NOT what the myriad online calculators tell you it is, and that your MET calculation for a given activity is wildly different than your next door neighbor's. Using those fucking calculators is fucking ridiculous. Do you honestly think that a 250 lb., hard charging, muscular motherfucker is burning the same number of calories as some elephantine broad who just heaved her fat ass out of her lark cart long enough to do the same activity as the aforementioned beast? If you do, you should probably head to the store and buy a frisbee with which to commit seppuku, because you need to stop breathing, stat.
This brings us to the second type of nutritional approach- chaotic. The chaotic theory addresses the complexity of the human organism, and the wild diversity that exists in individual human biology. This is the theory, obviously, to which I ascribe, and the one I think any rational thinking person would adopt.
It is because I ascribe to this theory that I depart from Duchaine's caloric restrictions. Caloric restriction is an integral part of Body Opus, and he recommends that you set your calorie levels before you even embark upon a regime of carbohydrate restriction and elimination. Given that one's metabolism is changed so drastically during ketogenic dieting, I consider his methodology to be about as logically sound as the logic you'd find in any conversation involving a woman- it's fucking bullshit. Studies have shown that low carb diets, calorie restricted or not, cause fat loss, and increase postprandial (post-meal. You learned a new word, fuckers!) thermogenesis by 2x!(1) Additionally, the more protein you consume, the hotter your metabolism burns, as protein has 3x the thermic effect of carbohydrates or fat (2), and high protein diets have been shown to increase the metabolic cost of digestion by about 30% when compared with high fat diets.
A conversation with this broad would not be logical, but then, clearly no one cares, since her head isn't even in the pic.
But what about all of the silly motherfuckers who claim we're eating too much protein already? Generally, they've already demonstrated that they are dumb enough to be stripped of their right to an opinion by stating that the human body can only process 30-40g of protein at a time, a statement for which there is little or no clinical evidence, and a preponderance of anecdotal evidence (and just plain old fucking common sense) to the contrary. Beyond that, they'll claim that too much protein is hard on your kidneys, which is patently untrue, given that there are multiple studies showing that kidneys easily adapt to high protein diets and function perfectly at the end of clinical trials of high protein diets,(5) and that kidney function IMPROVES with increased protein consumption.(6) This is called ontogenesis- your body has the ability, and really a biological imperative, to adapt to its environment and flourish within it. Thus, your body will adapt to accommodate both increased workload and increased protein consumption, and will perform better than you had ever dreamed it would simply by force of will, which extends even to the cellular level.
What's that mean to you? To get the absolute highest metabolic rate, your diet should be high protein and low-to-no carb. But the question is, what's chaotic about that? Nothing. Sounds a lot like eating nothing but paleo all day long, which is hardly chaotic. Well, my fuckers, I've got another trick up my sleeve. Studies have shown that overeating after undereating leads to greater thermogenesis, an acceleration of anabolic processes, and a replenishment of glycogen reserves and intramuscular triglycerides.(3) For the slow ones, that means it speeds your metabolism and fills replenishes your intra-muscular energy, so that your next viking raid will go swimmingly. Additionally, a 2003 study at Johns Hopkins showed that intermittent fasting (a day of fasting followed by a day of overeating 2x the amount of daily calories) led to an increased life span, reversal of diabetes, and increased resistance to brain damage.(4)
Somehow, he makes IF work.
Before you people jump to conclusions, I'll become an intermittent faster when the apocalypse comes and food becomes scare. Until then, I'll let that remain the purview of Swedish people with a fetish for starving themselves. It does, however, lend credence to the idea that cycling your calories might be a good idea. So, where does this lead us?
- keep your protein insanely high at all times
- rotate your caloric levels
- keto runs are your friend
1) Willey, Warren. Better Than Steroids. P. 81. Cordain, Loren. Paleo Diet. P. 17.
2) Crovetti R, Porrini M, Santangelo A, and Testolin G, 1998. "The Influence of Thermic Effect on Satiety." Eur J Clin Nutr 52, 482-488.
3) Audette, Ray. Neanderthin. P. 46
4) Ibid. P. 47.
5) Skov AR, Toubro S, Bulow J, Krabbe K, Parving HH, Astrup AI. "Changes In Renal Function During Weight Loss Induced By High Versus Low Protein Low Fat Diets in Overweight Subjects." Int J Obes Relat Metab Disord. 1999. 23: 1170-1177
6) Eades, Michael. Protein Power. P. 138.