Chaos And Bang Your Earholes #3

It's this good.

This is the best of the bunch and by far the longest.  In this, we cover myriad street fighting questions, some training, and I give my no-fail technique for going down on chicks.  Solid fucking gold, right here.

Incidentally, if you want to get Chaos and Bang content without all of the titties, go here.

I Am Not A Superhero

In the late 1990s I was a street rep for the label Equal Vision Records, mostly because I had a hardon for the straightedge toughguy band Another Victim and Rob Fusco's old band, One King Down.  While I was a rep, the label sent me a copy of Bane's best disc.  Bane's not generally my style- it's too posi and lacks breakdowns, which are cardinal sins in my book.  In looking over some online discussions about lifting, however, I realized Bane's song "Superhero" were pretty appropriate, given the fact that people seem to think that I'm some kind of weightlifting virtuoso forged in the fires of Hades and sent to Earth to destroy records and demean those beneath me.  While the latter portion is certainly true, the former isn't- I didn't come out of the gates ripping shit up in the gym- I started out piss weak and chubby.  I, however, hated weakness in myself so much that it drove me to where I am now, and even on the level where I currently sit, it still pisses me off when there's something I don't know or a weight I can't lift.  Rather than being born into this, I grew into this, fueled far more by contempt and conceit than genetics or an ontological preparation for greatness.

This might be straight up homocore, but I've never seen kids go that fucking bananas at a Hatebreed show.

The lyrics to the song, if you couldn't understand them, basically amount to what I've been saying all along- you're not genetically predisposed to being a pile of shit any more than I am.  You have the keys in your genes to be fucking badass, if you'll just take five minutes out of your day to stop being such a fucking pussy.  To wit, the crux of the song:

Well, there is nothing in me

that you don't have

deep within your fucking self

Yes, the body is weak

but the mind is stronger

it controls the body

you are not a slave.

And I am not a superhero!

You see, the difference between hard and impossible

well, it's a thousand miles wide

but that's not what you want to hear.

don't live a lifetime of regret.

You, hopefully sans weeping.

Lest you think I'm going soft on you motherfuckers, this isn't going to amount to a gentle reminder to stop being a sloppy sack of dogshit- this is me dragging you up off your fucking couch by your lapels and beating this message into your stubborn fucking skull, until you look like Joe Stevenson after BJ Penn beat on him for a few minutes.  The bullshit I see in meets and on the internet has to fucking stop.  Stop being satisfied with good enough.  Stop championing mediocre shit.  Stop making fucking excuses and blathering on about what separates you from the people who embarrass you in competition, physical or mental, and sack the fuck up.  There's no dignity in defeat and there's no rationalization that will make your poor performance seem like anything but.  We've grown so fucking soft was a species we don't even deserve to claim a heritage from Cro-Magnon man- we've devolved hideously since his day, and are reliant on diversions so effete and decadent that a foppish 18th Century English dandy would seem like he was plate fucking steel compared to the best of us.

Harder Than You Crew, c. 1890.

This isn't entirely our fault- we simply had the misfortune to be born in an era where we're surrounded by creature comforts and leisure, although that came with the requisite safety and free time to pursue such frivolous activities as picking up heavy shit for hours a day simply to do so.  We can turn back the clock, however, and forge our bodies and minds of steel if we so choose.  Clearly, the first step down this road is that you have to want it.  Not you want it in the Irongarmx.net manner, where they fellate each other in TRX bondage setups while blabbering on about strength sports gossip- I'm talking about wanting to achieve something fucking awesome.  If you're already there, sweet.  Step One is to stop making excuses for why you can't reach your goals.  If you don't want it, stop reading this fucking article and go drown yourself in a puddle of dog piss, because you're beneath contempt.

If you're already hitting your goals, sweet.  Go watch some porn and sling one out, as this shit will likely rehash shit you already know.  If not, it's time to put on your big boy pants and accept the fact taht you're likely mentally weak if you're physically weak.  I realize this flies in the face of dogma and is causing you to whine like a rich bitch on one of those Housewives show when anything whatsoever happens, but it's the sad fucking truth.  Mental toughness can be learned, though it comes as second nature to some people.  According to psychologist Robin Rosenberg, mental toughness has four components.  They are:

1. "Control: a sense of control of yourself and what happens to you; that is, a sense of being able to shape your destiny rather than passively accepting events as fated." (Rosenberg Toughness)
2. "Commitment: a strong sense of being committed to yourself and your work. That is, being fully involved in something, giving it your best shot."(Ibid.)
3. "Challenge: a tendency to see life's downs and obstacles and challenges to be met rather than as threats." (Ibid.)
4. "Confidence: A belief in yourself and your ability to meet your goals."  (Ibid.)

If brains looked like this, I would be a master of trephination and my cock would currently be covered in cerebral cortex.

If you hadn't already noticed, these are key points that I've obliquely covered over the course of the blog, and I agree completely with her assessment.  The first point is one I've tried to drive home like I'm Nick Manning and your brain is Alektra Blue- you're in control of your own destiny, not your genetics.  there's nothing wrong with your genetics unless you were born with fucking flippers and your head is on backwards.  What's missing is a weighty ball sack and a burning desire to destroy shit.  The second point is also fairly important, as I see a lot of shit about myself on the internet about how I can only do the things I do because I devote an inordinate amount of time to my craft.  While that's likely true, I've specifically structured my life in such a way as to allow that.  I'm fucking committed to dominating strength sports.  For those who remark that I've nothing in my life but work and lifting, that's not entirely true- I spend a couple of hours a day inciting a revolution on the internet.  As such, I'm wedging training in between two jobs that come out to about 80 hours a week.  I don't want to hear about your kids and your sick grandma and your syphilis- those are naught but excuses.  If you want to be awesome, figure out a fucking way to the get to the top of the mountain, by hook or crook, and schedule your life accordingly.  The third point, then, is extremely important, as you're bound to get waylaid by road agents, encounter rock slides, get swept up in tornadoes, and fall off the occasional metaphorical cliff.  that shit comes with the territory.  As such, the key is to treat that shit as a boon- they're just new tools to aid you in figuring out how best to keep moving forward.  Every setback is a blessing from the gods, as they've given you the opportunity to prove to yourself and the world exactly how fucking hard you really are. Finally, you need to have the confidence to pull the whole lot off.  "With a high sense of self-belief and an unshakeable faith that they control their own destiny, [confident] individuals can remain relatively unaffected by competition or adversity."(Rosenberg Toughness)

So, the key is getting to the point where you feel like you're going to piss excellence every morning when you roll out of bed.  If you're not already supremely confident, don't fucking worry about it- I've got you covered.  Studies have recently shown that you can definitely fake it til you make it, just by standing or sitting in certain positions for a couple of minutes a day.  "High-power posers experienced elevations in testosterone, decreases in cortisol, and increased feelings of power and tolerance for risk; low-power posers exhibited the opposite pattern. In short, posing in displays of power caused advantaged and adaptive psychological, physiological, and behavioral changes, and these findings suggest that embodiment extends beyond mere thinking and feeling, to physiology and subsequent behavioral choices.  That a person can, by assuming two simple 1-min poses, embody power and instantly become more powerful has real-world, actionable implications."(Carney)  This is pretty fucking awesome, and the effects are actually cumulative.  "Over time and in aggregate, these minimal postural changes and their outcomes potentially could improve a person’s general health and well-being. This potential benefit is particularly important when considering people who are or who feel chronically powerless because of lack of resources, low hierarchical
rank in an organization, or membership in a low-power social group."(Carney)

High power poses take up a lot of space.  Hands on hips. legs, spread, arms loose at your sides, etc.

We've all seen this in action- the broads who look like they've got a mini-black hole embedded into their chest because they appear to be collapsing into themselves, the fat motherfucker with the slumped shoulders trudging through the gym like his fucking back is broken, and the bigger gyms who walk with their chins up, meeting the eyes of everyone they pass.  I'm not saying you need to bow up on motherfuckers in the gym or develop a critical case of inflated lat syndrome, but just to start walking with a straight back and your chin up.  there's  reason why th military insists on it- it fucking works.  When you act powerful, you feel powerful.  When you act like a bitch, you feel like one.  Thus, if you're the bitch of the bunch in the gym, just standing with your hands on your hips, rather than trying to curl into the fetal position while standing is going to bring your squat up out of the region of "fatal embarrassment" into "somewhat passable."  This isn't just because your test levels are raised and you're feeling more confident, etiher- you'll be able to grind harder on big lifts because people who adopt "dominant poses displayed higher pain thresholds than those who adopted submissive or neutral poses."(Bohns)

A message to the ladies- you know how you like to twist yourself into a fucking pretzel in awkward situations?  FUCKING STOP IT.  You're killing your squat and your libido at the same goddamn time.

I'm far from done, lest you worry.  More to come on this shit in the coming weeks.  In the meantime- be the victor or be a fucking victim.  the choice is yours. Whatever you do, stop being such a flaming pussy on the internet.

Sources:
     Bohns VK, Wiltermuth SS.It hurts when I do this (or you do that): Posture and pain tolerance.  J of Exp Soc Psychol 2012 (48):1 341-345.
     Carney DR, Cuddy AJC, Yap AJ.  Power Posing: Brief Nonverbal Displays Affect Neuroendocrine Levels and Risk Tolerance. Psychol Sci. 2010 Oct;21(10):1363-8. Epub 2010 Sep 20.  http://www.people.hbs.edu/acuddy/in%20press,%20carney,%20cuddy,%20&%20yap,%20psych%20science.pdf
     Rosenberg, Robin.  Forging Steel. Part 2: Soldiers, Superheroes, and Resilience.  The Superheroes.  Psychology Today.  10/22/11.  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-superheroes/201110/forging-steel-part-2-soldiers-superheroes-and-resilience
     Rosenberg, Robin.  On Mental Toughness.  The Superheroes.  Psychology Today.  09/01/11.  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-superheroes/201009/mental-toughness
     Rosenberg, Robin.  Superhero Stance.  The Superheroes.  Psychology Today.  7/13/2011.  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-superheroes/201107/superhero-stance
     Troy AS, Mauss IB.  Resilience in the face of stress: emotion regulation as a protective factor.  Chapter appeared in S. Southwick, D. Charney, M. Friedman, & B. Litz (Eds.), Resilience to stress. Cambridge University Press. Published online.  http://www.du.edu/psychology/erl/troy%20mauss_resilience.pdf  

Be a Real Muhfuckin' G In The New Hooligan Shirt

I have a received a stupid number of compliments on this shirt, and for good reason- it fucking rules.  Pictured is a Medium, and for reference purposes, Paul from LRB rocks a large.  I've also got some chick 'beaters with the same design, but have yet to get a chick into one of them for a pic.

The shirts are Hanes 9.1 oz Heavyweight Tagless 100% cotton shirts, so just like the PainBreed shirts, they'll grip the bar when you're back squatting and won't be too easy to rip while kicking people in the face at a Recon show or fucking.  Get them now at by clicking the Paypal button on the side.  I know there will be several of you clamoring for Google Checkout, but Google's a pain in my ass and I'm going to avoid it unless I'm overwhelmed with a tide of whining (which I fully anticipate).  Email me at chaos_and_pain@yahoo.com if you're desperate for a shirt and can't be bothered to Paypal like an adult with dignity and self-respect.

Chaos And Bang Your Earballs #2

We aspire to reach this level of awesome.

Another installment of Paul and I babbling on about all sorts of bullshit. This one includes some bizarrely homosexual questions, a shitload of training discussion, and some astonishingly dull porn.  You guys failed on the porn.

 Download HERE if you can't stream it.  Still working on your myriad enhancement requests, which thus far include video, iTunes, and live streaming.

Apex Predator Diet For Athletes and Italians (APD + Carbs)

When I first posted about my concept for the Apex Predator Diet, I received a spate of emails asking me about pre-, peri-, and post-workout carbohydrates.  As I've stated more than once before, I think that the current infatuation with those three facets of one's nutrition are perhaps the most absurdly overblown distraction from critical points of training and nutrition one could have.  It's like a leper colony appealing to the UN for condoms and zit cream.  People obsessed with peri-workout nutrition come in exactly one form- people who have no fucking clue what a real workout is, clad in whatever the trendy workout gear of the moment is, making a fucking production of making a shake midworkout and getting in my fucking way when I'm trying to get water in between sets.  That's right- if you're focused with laser-like intensity on your mid-workout nutrition, you're a fucking bitch.  When you're lifting, you should be concerned with weights, not Biotest supplements and waxy maize.

Jon Cole, beast of all beasts.  First man to squat 900, and an unreal 1200 total (430 press, 340 snatch, and a 430 push jerk) at the same weight in weightlifting, a sport for which he really didn't train and rarely competed.  This man was wildly unconcerned with his peri-workout nutrition.

As for the pre- and post-workout nutrition guys, they're certainly a lesser form of evil, probably duped into thinking that shit is of critical importance through the constant barrage of marketing that pervades every corner of life.  For every person who states that pre- and post-workout nutrition is of critical importance if you want to gain mass and strength, I've got 100 people to name who did it without either, and a cock to slap across your lips.  That's not to say, however, that there's no benefit to be gained from either, but rather that their combined importance is still far less than that of the workout itself.  Given the fact that you're reading this, it's highly likely that you know this, so I'll be happy to impart a bit of knowledge on the subject of pre- and post- workout carbohydrate meals and their utility in the Apex Predator Diet.


That stated, I'll address the athletes who've expressed their concerns about consuming a ketogenic diet while participating in a sport that involved more than simply grunting and picking up heavy shit.  I personally have followed a ketogenic diet while wrestling and found I had no problem with energy provided that I kept my calories relatively high.  At that time, I was wrestling at 134 pounds and my diet consisted, as I recall, of pork sausage patties for breakfast and about a dozen hamburger patties throughout the rest of the day, in addition to the very occasional protein shake.  At the time, I hadn't really jumped onto the supplementation bandwagon, so I really didn't consume much in the way of supplements outside of my favorite ephedrine-filled supplements ever- Metaform Heat and Ultimate Orange.  For those of you too young to know about either of these supplements, they had so much caffeine and ephedrine in them that meth addicts were scared to take them.  Both of them tasted like fruit flavored cat shit, but they got you fucking going.  As such, I'll reassert my support for the consumption of stimulants, especially for those of you who need extra energy for running around and the like.  Once more, they're not necessary, but they're helpful, just as the inclusion of carbohydrates might be if you're not as genetically well-suited to ketogenic dieting as I am.

Oh, how I long for thee, Metaform Heat.

Tinkering with the Apex Predator Diet
I've stated time and time again that it's imperative that you experiment with anything and everything you try in order to maximize your personal benefit.  Doing so would generally necessitate a fair amount of research, but give my penchant for research, I've tried to do a fair amount of the legwork for you.  One concern some people have had with the Apex Predator Diet is that they experience a tremendous amount of lethargy a couple of days into the low carbohydrate phase of the APD.  Given the amazing array of biochemical makeups one could have, this should come as no surprise- I've never suggested that anything I do is "one size fits all."  In my still unfinished Metabolic Typing series, I outlined various metabolic typing methodologies, but the current trend is to divide people into Protein, Carb, or Mixed types.  It's possible to transition from one to the other, according to some authors, so making that attempt might be worthwhile.  


As I mentioned in the ATA about the diet, Lyle McDonald and Dan Duchaine both suggested the use of an Isocaloric diet if one is shifting from a traditional high carb, low fat diet into a ketogenic diet.  An interesting study by Stephen Phinney examined the initial investigations into ketogenic diets for endurance energy, and his study uncovered exactly what Duchaine and McDonald alluded to- the body often requires at least a two week acclimation period to wean athletes off their carbohydrate diet.(Phinney)  Thus, your "carb crash" might be mitigated by the gradual transition.  Something like the Zone Diet might help people who would be considered Carb-Types according to a Metabolic Typing test transition to a Protein Type.  A month of Zone Dieting, however, might not be enough to complete the transition, and you might experience the crash Phinney noted.  The Inuit, according to Phinney, dealt with energy lags by greatly increasing their consumption of fat and decreasing their protein intake accordingly, while other authors have suggested taht fat could be decreased and carbs could be increased accordingly.  The key, then, is to determine what works best for you.  That is, of course, the entire purpose of the Apex Predator Diet- to allow one to shed fat while gaining muscle and strength.  Luckily for me, I'm well-suited to ketogenic dieting.  For those of you who aren't, or feel as though you need more quick energy to facilitate sporting competition or just to fuel your workouts, there is hope for you yet.

Efferding rocks a fairly unique diet of 50% fat, 23% carbs, and 27% protein, for instance.  It's all about finding your person sweet spot, which he's clearly done.

A Historical Aside
Before you delve into the following bits about the utilization of carbohydrates to spur greater athletic performance, I'll go ahead and make a quick aside- a quick study of the entirety of human history will lead to one inevitable conclusion.  Humans do not require carbohydrates to perform at a high level.  The history of agriculture is essentially the history of human collectives in areas of high population densities- carbohydrates provide a cheap, easy way to feed a large population in a small area.  Put another way, carbohydrates are the fare of plebians and slaves, as crops were grown to feed the menial workers cheaply and to keep them alive while they built absurd buildings like ziggurats and pyramids.  As I've shown before, humans were larger and more muscular in the paleolithic era than the neolithic, and those peoples credited with being the strongest and most muscular in recorded history were all nearly entirely carnivorous.  The peoples considered to be the scourges of Europe were always nomads, championing animal husbandry and looking down upon agrarian societies as prey- the Huns, Goths, Mongols, Scythians and Sarmatians all ate similar diets that consisted of little more than meat and milk.  Of the Goths, Tacitus noted that "Feasts and entertainments, which, though inelegant, are plentifully furnished, are their only pay. The means of this bounty come from war and rapine. Nor are they as easily persuaded to plough the earth and to wait for the year's produce as to challenge an enemy and earn the honour of wounds. Nay, they actually think it tame and stupid to acquire by the sweat of toil what they might win by their blood."(Tacitus)  Though the latter two tribes eventually adopted agriculture, their agricultural products were the fare of those who remained behind with the villages, rather than those who rode into battle.  The Huns and the Mongols took this even further, eating little more than horse and game meat, and drank mare's milk and horse blood to supplement their nutrition.  This diet hardly hamstrung them- it enabled them to conquer vast territories while constantly outnumbered, and fueled legends of their incredible ferocity.(Turnbull 30)

“looming on horseback 8 ft above the ground, screaming maniacally, capable of unleashing repetitive and deadly fights of triple-edged arrows, they must have seemed the very embodiment of horror to those who had to stand and fight them. Nor were such fears unwarranted, for Scythian warriors regularly beheaded their enemies and sometimes even skinned them whole. If an enemy were known personally, his skull might receive a special treatment: sawn through below the eyes, it would be cleaned and painstakingly fashioned into richly appointed drinking vessel. Not surprisingly, Scythian ceremonies especially royal funerals, were drenched in blood: sometimes these drinking vessels were filled with enemy blood, mixed wine and after arrowheads were dipped into it, the concoction was imbibed by the Scythian chieftain."(Mann 4)

Contrast these diets of these lean, mean killing machines with that of the gladiators.  Gladiators in the Roman era were generally captives obtained from battles with neighboring tribes, all of whom generally subsisted on meat.  As such, they were generally described in accounts by ancient authors as huge framed, broad shouldered, muscular, and wild eyed,(Tacitus, Jordanes, Turnbull) and were chosen to be warriors for their stature and ferocity.  Once placed into the arena, however, their diet was changed to a nearly vegetarian diet, and not because the gladiators needed the extra energy.

"The vegetarian diet had nothing to do with poverty or animal rights. Gladiators, it seems, were fat. Consuming a lot of simple carbohydrates, such as barley, and legumes, like beans, was designed for survival in the arena. Packing in the carbs also packed on the pounds. 'Gladiators needed subcutaneous fat," Grossschmidt explains. "A fat cushion protects you from cut wounds and shields nerves and blood vessels in a fight.' Not only would a lean gladiator have been dead meat, he would have made for a bad show. Surface wounds "look more spectacular," says Grossschmidt. 'If I get wounded but just in the fatty layer, I can fight on," he adds. "It doesn't hurt much, and it looks great for the spectators.'"(Curry)

So, high carbohydrate diets are awesome for getting fat, and but are they necessary for maintaining cardiovascular endurance?  Fucking nope.  The aforementioned study by Phinney cited two still-unrefuted studies in which endurance athletes were switched to a ketogenic diet.  In both studies, their performance improved considerably after their acclimatization period. Neither group consumed supplementary calories, but rather increased their fat intake to accommodate their increased energy needs.  Thus, you might consider altering your macronutrient profile simply by adjusting your fat intake prior to attempting the inclusion of carbs.  Were I to do so, I'd consider adding heavy cream to my protein shakes and possibly rubbing my ribs with olive oil.

Oil makes delicious things deliciouser.

Upping Your Carbs Pre- and Post Workout
If you're not interested n increasing your fat intake or have already tried it and found it didn't do what you'd wanted, there's always upping your carbs.  In the Anabolic Diet, Mauro Di Pasquale mentions that certain people will have a tremendous amount of difficulty maintaining progress on a ketogenic diet consisting of 30 grams of carbohydrate a day.  As such, he recommends that  one complete at least the initial 10-14 day keto run and then begin experimenting with increases in their carbohydrate levels until an optimal balance between performance and body recomposition is struck.  Following this line of thought, he tailored a diet for Gozilla's second cousin on the black side of the family, Bob Sapp, so that it lowered the fats somewhat and increased the carbohydrates.(Di Pasquale, Bob Sapp 11)  He did mention, however, in the Anabolic Solution for Powerlifters, that people who are excellent fat oxidizers (like myself) can easily train on 20 grams of carbohydrates a day, so experimentation is absolutely critical- don't just decide what you need at the outset.(ADFP 21)  Ol' Mauro claims that the timing of one's carbohydrates is fairly insignificant, but does note that eating pre-workout carbohydrates will decrease IGF-1 and GH.(ASBB 70)  Thus, he recommends eating 50-100 grams of carbohydrates postworkout, for a total carbohydrate intake of .5-1gram of carbohydrates per pound of bodyweight a day.  This, of course, would necessitate a concordant drop in fat intake.


On the flip side of the coin, Lyle McDonald's Targeted Ketogenic Diet is actually based on the utilization of mostly pre-workout carbohydrates, which he feels are necessary to fuel high intensity exercise.  He recommends 25-50 grams of carbohydrate pre-workout, and claims that the type of carbohydrate and the glycemic index thereof is insignificant.  This would, of course, still preclude the use of fructose, as the goal is to replenish muscular glycogen stores rather than the glycogen stores of the liver.  According o McDonald, pre-workout carbohydrates will likely not affect either your insulin levels nor your ketosis (though they might throw you out of ketosis for the duration of your workout), and are thus fair game for just about everyone.  Conversely, post workout carbohydrates may negatively affect ketosis, so he encourages experimentation with those.(Ketogenic Diet 125)

As for the type of carbohydrates, I have a suggestion from novelist and paleo internet guru J. Stanton, who told me that he's been using a modified version of the APD for a while with great success.  If you're unfamiliar with his stuff, Stanton does a bunch of wacky shit outdoors that I'm inclined to call cardio, but he insists it's just "doing epic shit outdoors", like climbing mountains while fasted and all sorts of other shit that doesn't involve picking things up and putting them down.  He did, however, recently start lifting and noted the APD is the shit, with a couple of his own variations: 

"Here's an advanced-level Predator Diet variant: you may get more mileage out of your protein shake if you eat several grams of dextrose with it.  Reasoning: the protein causes some insulin release, which (if the protein is eaten solo) requires some glucose to be released from the liver in order to maintain blood sugar levels.  Then your liver will signal "NEED MORE GLUCOSE" and there will be a cortisol spike, whereupon your liver will suck up some of the protein and convert it via gluconeogenesis.  Also cortisol is catabolic.  So the additional dextrose basically gives the inevitable insulin something to chew on, and as a bonus, causes a bit of extra insulin release which will help drive protein into muscles.

(Note that "weight gainer" shakes have an assload of sugar because it's cheaper than protein.  Too much, no good.  I'm working on about a 4:1 protein/glucose ratio, but that's a guess and open to refinement. And it includes whatever sugar's already in your protein powder.)

You can buy a big bag of dextrose at the brewery supply store...but the easier way is to just eat a few Bottle Caps or Sweet Tarts candies.  Believe it or not, they're basically 100% dextrose: no sucrose or HFCS.  So my routine during protein loading days is: glass of unflavored whey isolate + 4-5 Bottle Caps, every few hours.  Note: add Runts and Spree to the list of "glucose with impurities": like Bottle Caps and Sweet Tarts, they're just dextrose, maltodextrin, and flavoring."(Stanton)

The Gist
As you can see, there's a bit of debate on the optimal timing of one's carbs if you're adding them to the Apex Predator Diet, but if you feel you need them, there are methods to try.  Experimentation is the name of the game, so get out your chemistry set and make something fucking awesome happen.  Just remember, however- the baddest motheruckers ever to walk the Earth didn't need bread to help them stomp the piss out of a bunch of bagel-chomping motherfuckers, and it's likely you don't either.
  
Sources:
     Bodybuilding.com.  Stan Efferding 6500 calories diet.  http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=138848513&page=1
     Curry, Andrew.  The gladiator diet.  Archaeology.  http://www.archaeology.org/0811/abstracts/gladiator.html
     Di Pasquale, Mauro.  Anabolic Diet.
     Di Pasquale, Mauro.  Anabolic Solution for Bodybuilders.  Mauro Di Pasquale: 2002.
     Di Pasquale, Mauro.  Anabolic Solution for Powerlifters.  Mauro Di Pasquale: 2002.
     Di Pasquale, Mauro.  Bob Sapp (The Beast) Training and Nutrition Secrets.  Published as pdf.
     Jordanes.  An account of the person of Attila.
     Mann, Nirmil.  The Life and Times of Pakher Singh Gill.  Pittsburgh: Dorrance Publishing, 2005.
     McDonald, Lyle.  Ketogenic Diet.  1998
     Phinney, Stephen D.   Ketogenic diets and physical performance.  Nut Metab 2004, 1:2.  http://www.nutritionandmetabolism.com/content/1/1/2
     Tacitus.  Germania.
     Turnbull, Stephen and Wayne Reynolds.  Mongol Warrior 1200-1350.  Oxford:  Osprey Publishing, 2003. 

Chaos And Bang Your Earholes #1

In the inaugural version of CABYE, Paul and I cover the fact that Paul's 13 year old daughter might be stronger than you, review some porn, review a movie or two, and discuss a bunch of other random bullshit.

Having listened to this, I'm astonished at how often I drop the f-bomb.  I make Goodfella's Joe Pesci seem G-rated by comparison.  Anyway, enjoy.

Download HERE.

Chaos And Bang- Injuries, Training For Meets, And Sundry Bullshit

Last weekend, Paul Carter from Lift-Run-Bang and I discussed a bunch of bullshit on the phone.  Thereafter, I flew to Utah, broke into the NSA's new, highly illegal, bullshit, shitting-on-the-Constitution spy supercomputer and stole the record of our conversation after teabagging every one of the soulless, freedom-hating motherfuckers who work there.  Paul uploaded it right after my return, but I was busy fighting ninjas sent by Rick Santorum to prevent me from buttfucking my girlfriend, so I added an intro to one up him.  You can listen to it if you're bored or curious.  Enjoy.


We cover:

• RUM5 and shit I would have done differently in training for it
• How I changed his training after the meet
• Injuries Paul and I have been battling through
• Going with instinct in both eating and training
• Balancing training intensity with training frequency and volume 
• How to get women with dark chocolate and fried chicken.  Literally.

Why would anyone want this to be illegal? This gif is the greatest thing since WWII.  The Christian right is worse than black metal.

Incidentally, we're thinking about doing a recorded weekly show that will likely cover more porn, books/movies/gaming, and politics than training.  Let me know in the comments if it's worth doing, and what you'd like us to discuss.  This one was pretty catch as catch can, but we're thinking of making them a bit more structured.