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16 November 2013

Random Awesome Shit- CnP LLC News, Books, and Music That'll Get You Banned From Westboro Baptist's Thanksgiving Festivities


When I was wrapping up the end of the last blog in this series, I knew I had left a bunch of shit out that I really wanted to get in, but figured I'd hold off a bit before hammering you guys with more of this stuff.  Alas, I can wait no longer, so here we go.  First of, I figured I'd fill you guys in on what is going on with Chaos and Pain LLC.  As most of you should already know, Cannibal Ferox and Inferno are both available for purchase over at www.chaosandpain.com.  We had innumerable problems with the Ferox, however, and so we've found an alternate vendor for production.  As such, we'r going to be launching two new products next month"
  1. Cannibal Genius.  Genius is a nootropic blend combining 40mg of noopept with a variety of other, complementary traditional nootropics and acacia rigidula for a bit of pep in your step.  Time to ditch your amphetamines, because I've got that shit chumped with this fomula.
  2. Cannibal Swole.  Swole is a no-stim pump product designed to be used along or in concert with Cannibal Ferox.  Frankly, I hate pump products, but I can guarantee this shit will give you a pump like you've never had before.  Go here and vote for which flavor you want us to make first!
With all of that corporate shit out of the way, here are a bunch of bands, books, and movies that are guaranteed to scare off any Jehovah's Witnesses that might come calling this holiday season.



Music



Suicide Silence- The Black Crown
Though I liked their EP and one of Suicide Silence's songs off their first album (and I think everyone can agree that you really can't not dislike No Pity For A Coward), I found them to generally be somewhat uninspiring on the whole.  To make matters worse, their second album blew, and they supported it by touring Not so with their third album, which I just discovered simply because I wanted to see what all the hullabaloo was with replacing their original singer.  When MetalSucks gets excited enough to post a four second clip of the band jamming with their new singer, there has to be something to the band.  The Black Crown is that something.  Suicide Silence was, in my opinion, basically nu-metal repackaged as deathcore, but on this album they basically appear to have listened to Hatebreeed's Satisfaction is the Death of Desire, taken the hardcore sentiments therein, and slapped a thick, brutal layer of deathcore on top.  What you end up with is some of the best fucking lifting music I've found since Annotations of an Autopsy's last EP.  Not only that, but the album's diverse enough to suit whichever mood you might have when you're in the gym, be it the "fuck yeah I'm gonna lift some weights and fuck some sluts because I rule" or "I'm gonna smash every weight on Earth and burn this motherfucker to the ground when I'm done".  It makes about as much sense as Robin Thicke's continued existence to attempt to draw a comparison between Suicide Silence and Bulldoze, but SS is pretty much a repackaged Bulldoze for the new century- sometimes they bring the Beatdown and sometimes they remind you to Remember Who's Strong.  For the metal snobs among you, give it this song at least 25 seconds, and bear in mind (Crom help us) that it has a fucking guitar solo in it.





Last Ten Seconds Of Life- Know Your Exits and Invivo[Exvivo]

At some point in 2008 or 2009, I was the sole white person living in a ghetto as fuck apartment complex I moved into sight unseen.  Around that time, I picked up Last Ten Seconds Of Life, and that album blasting out of my apartment and the occasional shirtless foray into the parking lot brandishing two sets of knucks and one or two bashed out car windows were the only thing that kept the fucking crack-dealing shitbirds from "gaffling" each other in front of my fucking window.  As such, I practically shit my pants when I stumbled on their newest full length and EP, as they're both better than a K9 cop for getting gangbangers to scatter like roaches and make for an awesome soundtrack to a particularly hate-filled training session.  I don't think I need to sell this band any more that.  Beatdown deathcore so brutal it makes gangbangers pull up their fucking pants and pretend to read books.





Nails- Abandon All Life

Like most people (I assume, as I don't know all that many people), I go through very distinct phases with my music.  I'll go through a deathcore phase, a beatdown phase, a dubstep phase, and on occasion, a grindcore/powerviolence/old school hardcore phase.  You might find the latter category a bit odd, as few people would lump those three genres together, but it's my contention that what is now either characterized as grindcore or powerviolence is nothing more than the natural evolution of old school hardcore.  We're not talking early 90s hardcore- we're talking Bad Brains/Minor Threat/SS Decontrol style hardcore.  the kin of shit that was fast, angry, and technically proficient without being noodly.  All Nails did was add better distortion and make the shit way, way, way fucking meaner.  The result?  Fucking stab-your-mother-in-law-with-a-rusty-screwdriver-at-Christmas-dinner-for-her-awful-reindeer-sweater amazing.




Kublai Khan- Youth War
This is for those of you who appreciate my more unhoned tastes.  Kublai Khan's not a glass of red at the end of a long working day- it's a quadrupal shot of bum liquor at lunch you can't shake off.  It's the chick you fucked but didn't really think was hot who keeps coming back to ruin your other romantic entanglements because she's just that much of a dirty bitch and you can't keep your dick out of her.  In other words, Kublia Khan is all that is good in life, with none of the guilt.  If you like Thy Art Is Murder, you're going to love Kublai Khan more than chubby, pasty, middle aged white guys with mustaches like the feeling of the inside of a young boy's anus.





Madchild- Lawnmower Man

What?  Rap?  Why?  Well, I'll fucking tell you why.  Madchild is a former member of the group Swollen Members, he combines nerdcore and horrorcore rap, and his beats are fucking sick.  If you don't like either of those genres, you're likely a card carrying communist who only listens to patriotic marching music and old Propagandhi records... on vinyl, of course.  When you've got lyrics like this, you can only go wrong if you only take lefts when everywhere you have to go is on the right.


"Cocaine and steroids, I don't get paranoid
You are not a gangster, you're a fuckin errand boy
Werewolf, warlord, poet and a warrior
Mad Child king, Vancouver and Victoria
These kids forfeit against war orphans
I kill often, I fill coffins
Life's still awful, I will profit
Mad shine bright like light in a socket"




Books Of Which Baphomet Would Approve




Hogg by Samuel Delany
Though I highly doubt any of you will ever read this, I thought I'd put it on your radar only because this book was so fucked up it literally took me three years to finish it.  The protagonist, Hogg, is a contract rapist (yeah, people pay him and his gang to rape broads and dudes) who drags a 12 year old semi-sex-slave boy with him to participate in the festivities while he crosses the countryside raping, maiming, and killing a variety of people.  If nothing else, it's worth reading just because you can say you did afterwards.



Vampires Overhead by Alan Hyder
I admit it- I generally loathe vampire books. Anne Rice, Twilight, etc, are all garbage in my book. To wit, the idea of a ravenous, blood thirsty semi-cannibal as a sexy creature of the night is simply a ridiculous subject for a book and generally ludicrous idea overall. This novel, however, written by a guy who's basically an unknown pulp writer from the 30's and takes vampires in an entirely different direction. The vampires in this book are sort of alien fire bats descend upon an unsuspecting Earth in hordes, draining every drop of moisture from people while setting everything ablaze. As such, Vampires Overhead is really more post-apocalypse than vampire novel as the vampires are totally alien creatures. If you're looking for weak soft-core porn involving pasty faced Victorian-era Eastern Europeans, look elsewhere, but if you want a great account of a fanciful apocalypse, definitely give this a read.



Invasion by Eric L. Harry

It's been a few years since I've read any of Eric L. Harry, but back in the day this guy was the king of the intelligent World War III novel.  This was perhaps the best of the bunch, in which China invades the US by sea and we have to fight back to push those fuckers into the ocean.  the tech in the book is believable if not currently extant, and the characters keep the story flowing.  If you, like me, like a good WW3 yearn, this one will sate your appetite, as they're not really getting written much anymore.



Coming soon, more of the hormone series and a bit on how I have been training since my injury.  Keep it classy, motherfuckers.

17 comments:

  1. I challenge you to refrain from using the phrase "as such" for the next month of internet posting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would pretty much fail that challenge immediately. As such, I shall not take you up on that offer, haha.

      Delete
  2. Make gangbangers pull there pants up and pretend like they read...nice. You got anything that will make them put a gun in they're mouth and pull the trigger? If so I would be all over that.

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  3. My next meet I'm going to put that Suicide Silence video on a loop 24hrs before the show. It alone could make someone fail an AAS panel.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tom Giamanco (TLTSOL) used to work at the shithole of Upstate NY with me, he used to drive a beater across the PA-NY border to deliver pizzas to the losers in Binghamton.
    Hes a funny motherfucker. I also seem to remember him having more than 2 stupid-hot girlfriends at one time and they met eachother more than once.
    Mad props to him for getting the fuck out and making awesome music.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the breakdowns and brutal lyrics, but find the pig like squeeling thing weird and off-putting. Big fan of built upon frustration, horrorcore (D12, necro,mad child is sick) any suggestions Jamie?

    P.S I read panzram: a journal of murder a while ago, and was practically waiting for his face to show up on this blog, If Panzram was alive today, he'd probably be rocking possi holocaust whilst mollesting/bludgeoning a bus full of kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha. He definitely would. Check out any of the bands in the last blog in this series for beatdown, also Hoods and Shattered Realm. As for horrorcore, I still love the classics- Geto Boys, Gravediggaz, Flatlinerz, etc, and La Coka Nostra's badass as well, as is Sutter Kane.

      Delete
  6. those 2 nails full lengths have been dominating my training playlist not unlike insect warfare's "world extermination" record dominated all of 2008 for me.

    speaking of, while you're on a grindcore kick, insect warfare definitely worth checking out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_q35rQGLpQ

    ReplyDelete
  7. I read "Hogg". That book was fucking vile. "Invasion" however, was fucking great. Harry's first book "Arc Light" is my all-time favorite techno/war/WWIII book I've ever read. It puts that fucking nerd Clancy to shame.

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    Replies
    1. I love Arc Light as well. I've had that in my library since high school.

      Delete
  8. Hey Jamie,
    When will you be coming out with your test booster and any idea of the ingredients yet? I know I'd trust it a shitload more than whatever Big Supplement is peddling, haha. Also wondering if it'll be street legal in NZ....I know if I ordered your pre-workout, there's a good chance customs would steal it off me because it contains yohimbine (prescription only over here). Gotta love the fucking beaurecrats, huh.

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  9. I may be old school, but where's the love for classic hardcore? Bands like Bad Brains, Minor Threat, 7 Seconds, and the like. The classics never die.

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  10. Holy shit that lawnmower man song is addictive as fuck

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  11. Who the hell is that broad in the first picture?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey Jamie,
    Youre into the dark stuff, obviously.

    Can I get your opinion of the Holohoax? Do you really believe that 6 million people died in a 2.5 car, Garage sized, Vented room by use of bug spray, in 18 months as the hoaxers will have us believe? Have you read HOAX OF THE 20th Century by Northwestern Professor Arthur Butz?

    What did you think of the 1933 London Express Headline 'Judea Declares War On Germany'!
    Hitler as you known, threw J e ws out of Banking, Govt., Judiciary and Education as they had destroyed Germany, and left it broke with no gold and hyperinflation, but in less than 5 years, Hitlers was the economic envy of the world, whilst the USA went through its Great Depression caused by the same J E Ws.
    Thanks dude.

    ReplyDelete
  13. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you need to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Want your ex CRAWLING back to you...?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I bet you won't guess which muscle in your body is the muscle that gets rid of joint and back pains, anxiety and burns fat.

    This "hidden survival muscle" is in your body and it will boost your energy, immune system, sexual function, strength and athletic performance when developed.

    ReplyDelete