To avoid having to check this page every ten seconds for updates on supplements, music, and sundry little details, hit us up on Facebook and like the page. That'll keep you updated without getting spammed with a million twitter-length posts!

22 January 2013

Another Music Post? Yup. Suck It Up. [I edited this today because it was a bit of a mess]

One of the new shirt designs.

Of late, I've been breaking my ass getting new merch together, training for this weekend's SPF meet (of which I will be getting some badass video of my debut at 165 lbs and should be putting up some ridiculous numbers) writing a new ebook called Prepare For War, a text on competition prep and cutting (and will be out before the end of the month), retooling Issuance of Insanity to include the last two years of blogs (which should be out this week), and writing what's become an extremely lengthy blog about how Hugh Jackman got jacked as hell for "The Wolverine" (which will be out this week).  While doing so, I've been downloading shitloads of music to entertain me while I sit and write for hours, then massage the cramps out of my right palm, which is a bastard due to all of the typing.  As such, I thought I'd take a sec and give you guys the highlights, since I know you love my music posts about as much as the people of San Francisco love AIDS and homophobic comments.  Frankly, I'm amused by the comments I get, which range from the unwitty to the downright fucking retarded.  Thus, flame away.  In an effort to placate the more musically retarded amongst you, I'm even including rap, which I think goes with lifting about as well as motor oil goes with fried chicken, but I suppose Tookie Williams couldn't have been all wrong, as he was jacked as fuck.

PCP + Afrosheen = 20" arms.

We might as well begin with the rap, as Tookie would have wanted it that way.  I'll say I'm hardly a modern rap afficianado, as i think the vast majority of the autotuned bullshit you hear today should result in a bunch of people getting sent to the fucking camps and turned into soap, but that's me.  As such, I'll hit you with the shit I've heard lately that I enjoy.


E-40.  If you're unfamiliar with E-40, you're fucking up.  This dude's been making rap longer than some of your have been alive, and has one of the most interesting deliveries of anyone in the rap game.  He's put out some decent shit of late, like Function, which is a badass posse cut.  I've always liked posse cuts, and used to rock the fuck out of Tribe Called Quest's "Scenario" back in the day, which was Busta Rhyme's first song.


While that song is tits, my ultimate favorite song by E-40 has got to be "Do Ya Head Like This", which is a cut off of 40's best (in my opinion) album, "My Ghetto Report Card".

I can understand if that shit isn't to your liking- you may well need something a little harder than that to get the blood flowing for the gym, in which case I can offer you.


La Coka Nostra. A group of which you'd likely never heard, but you should have. I features Ill Bill, most of House of Pain, and Slaine from Special Teamz. Frankly, I don't love all of their shit, but they bust out the occasionally gem like "Get Outta My Way" and this song, which has the hardest beat of all time:

All of the buzz these days is about A$ap, and I can listen to about one and a half of his songs before I fall the fuck asleep.  Like I said, I'm no modern rap conisseur.  As such, I'll move onto that of which I am- hardcore and metal.

Hardcore

No Zodiac.  I think I've posted about these guys before, because of the song "Posi Holocaust", which is pretty much the toughest song of all time.  If you look back, I'm pretty sure I even linked the demo for that shit, but here's a refresher on the song:


That song was so tough it brings a tear to Clint Eastwood's eye, but No Zodiac was unsatisfied and decided to do what they do best- destroy everything you know.  They just released their first full-length, "Population Control", which I highly recommend you buy.  If you're reticent to spend money on bile-filled, hatemongering music, maybe the masterpiece of animosity will help change your mind:


7 BILLION PEOPLE IS 7 BILLION TOO MANY.

Still not enough?  How about kicking homeless people in the face in their official video?  This fucking song is so hard that they should play it in Viagra commercials.




Harm's Way.  Like No Zodiac, these guys are also from Chicago, and whatever they're putting in the water there is pissing people off.  Their album "Isolation" is the best recorded of their shit and the most pissed off- think Integrity in a blender with a bit of Crowbar and some Hatebreed.  Tough as nails, and the singer's fucking huge, which is always a plus.




I Am Revenge.  The Germans, ever eager to overtake America with the hardest beatdown hardcore they can, brought the fucking ruckus with their full-length, "Pit Justice".  This is without a doubt one of the best produced beatdown albums of all time, has hard as fuck lyrics, and stuff breakdowns into every nook and cranny they can find.  Meanwhile, they layer in a bit of melody, just to keep you on your toes.  Literally every one of their songs touches on the topic of kicking someone's fucking teeth down their throat.  Lest you worry, all of the lyrics are in English, so your hard-earned prostitution money won't be wasted on badass lyrics you cannot understand.




Beast.  You can download this band's album for free, so I linked the Mediafire to save you fuckers the hassle of having to hunt it down.  I never thought anything that came out of France could be this fucking tough, but they literally start an epic circle part with "GO SUCK A DICK", pepper their songs with a liberal sprinkling of Rick Ta Life-style "Blech!"s, and pack as many breakdowns as humanly possible into their songs overlaid with lyrics like "BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE."  You're moshing.



Overpain.  I have no idea how I stumbled across this band, and it took me two weeks to lay hands on their album, which seems to be impossible to purchase online.  It's title "Underrated-Overhated" pretty much says it all- this is old school toughguy hardcore, and it fucking rules.  I was unaware that Greece had either tough guys or hardcore, but apparently they have both, because this shit fucking slams.




Reign Supreme.  These guys keep getting fucking better.  I've got their first two albums, and while the first didn't knock my socks off, the second gets heavy rotation on my mp3 player in the gym.  Their new shit, however, sounds fucking ridiculous.  Circlepits, two steps, and breakdowns, the way Hatebreed intended when they invented this genre of hardcore.  The new album doesn't drop until March 19th, but it's worth it to pick up their last album to tide you over until you can kick someone's teeth in to the new shit.



Deathcore
I know a lot of you don't like deathcore, and I don't fucking care.  This is for the three of you out there who are desperately looking for the ultimate album for your "shoot up the movie theater full of people who watch those shitty housewives shows" playlist.  By the way, I realize that I support non-elementary-school-related shootings because at least half of the fuckers who catch a bullet like reality TV.  The rest are acceptable collateral damage, and you can't make an omlette without breaking a few eggs.  Before you get your panties in a twist, the recent school shooting is not part of my well-wishes for random shootings- elementary schoolers are hopefully too young to watch reality TV nonsense.  Frankly, I'd prefer to just see some jackbooted thugs beat the shit out of random people rather than shooting them, but pussies are gonna puss, I suppose.


IAMTHESHOTGUN.  Do you like breakdowns?  Do you like somewhat intelligible deathcore vocals?  Do you like blast beats?  If screamed yes to all three of those questions, welcome to your new favorite band.




A Memoria Brooded.  I practically fell the fuck out of my chair when I heard this album.  It's crazy heavy, expertly mixed, and the breakdowns kick you in the fucking gut like a mule whose been injected with a myostatin inhibitor.  Enjoy resisting the urge to break your own shit listening to this album.
DOWNLOAD


Endworld.  Who wouldn't love a song that begins with "You are a scum slut"?  These guys bring the fucking mosh- think a heavier, non-whiney Emmure.  They get a little overexcited about their atmospheric guitar noodling at times for my taste, but there's no way you could not appreciate the crushing heaviness of this shit.  Get "Juggernaut", ASAP.



Dubstep/Metal Mashups
These have become popular lately, and I find them to be good car music, because I have a badass sub in my car.  In any event, here are two bands workth downloading for a change of pace if you like dubstep or metal.

Asking Alexandria.  I would generally not sully myself by suggesting anyone listen to a HotTopicCore band, but frankly, their "Stepped Up And Scratched" Album fucking slaps.  Big Chocolate, the death metal singer turned dubstep DJ made famous by STUFFYOUWILLHATE remixed the holy fuck out of "Closure", and I defy anyone to tell me they don't think this song is the unadulterated balls.




Comissioner.  As I continue to jock the fuck out of Big Chocolate, you'll need to check this shit out, if just out of curiosity.  It reminds me of Brutal Truth thrown into a blender with Skrillex and Agoraphobic Nosebleed.  I could do without the tinny, shitbox snare sound, but it's still hard as nails.  When was the last time you heard someone scratching a fucking record in a death metal song?  Exactly.  Snag this.



Betraying the Martyr.  Frankly, I had no idea where to put this.  I downloaded it for the girlfriend, but find myself occasionally listening to it.  This is your basic crabcore, only with a Mushroomhead-style two singer setup and a bit more in the way of keyboards.  By that description, it seems like you'd be wishing you were deaf rather than having to sit through this, but their breakdowns are pretty fucking hard, the clean vocals are tolerable, and it's a remarkable change of pace from the shit to which I normally listen, as no one's plotting the death of every man, woman, and child on Earth in it, and it's (after looking it up) actually French,Christian deathcore... making it wholly unlike anything in my music collection.  If nothing else, it's something you can listen to with your grilfriend in the car without catching too much shit.  Luckily, my girl's favorite band is Whitechapel, so i can listen to whatever I want, but as you're not me, you'll likely have to settle for this.



And if you stuck with it in spite of hating all of the music I posted, your music taste is shit, but here's some tits to shut you up.



18 comments:

  1. u have the music taste of a 13 year old

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
  2. I fucking love this site. Finally someone with the same tastes in music. Check out Rings of Saturn if you like any technical breakdown ridiculousness. Heavy as fuck breakdowns with brutal lyrics.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's actually ironic that you would mention Big Chocolate in this post. He is actually a death metal guy who has fronted a few good bands. Most notably, he flew to Russia to sing for a band called Disfiguring a Goddess, who were pretty awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fuck the haters. Even though I was one to start with. I love these posts. I feel like I lose a little bit of moral character every time you recommend a new band.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mitch Lucker had to go and die before at least finishing one of the best side projects. Fucking this song! Brutal!

    Definitely like your 13 year old girl music taste.

    ReplyDelete
  6. > my debut at 165 lbs

    You're moving down a weight class? I didn't think you had 16 more pounds you could lose. Didn't you say you were below 10% bodyfat at 181?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I quite liked the hardcore, you might want to check out Toxic Narcotic if you don't already know them or Anaal Nathrakh if you want some fucking horrid black/grind metal

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Toxic Narcotic's a good time, though I wouldn't lift to it. If I ran, I'd definitely run to that though.

      Delete
  8. Apologies for the total lack of editing in the original iteration of this thing. That was a shambles, but that's what happens when I try to do too many things at once while carb and calorie depleted.

    Jalezit, yeah, I'm dropping to 165 to take the squat and total records in that class. I got walking pneumonia in December and lost some weight, so I've been around 185 since. That means I'm close enough to 165 to make it to that weight and do some damage. I'd already committed to doing the meet in Myrtle this weekend and wasn't going to embarrass myself by failing to outdo my last performance at 181. I'm going to do this meet and RUM at 165, then possibly do a strongman meet in March and take some time off from competing until the late summer or fall.

    ReplyDelete
  9. not a fan of hardcore but i like the rap recommendations. I know you mentioned Die antwoord's I fink u freaky. All of their shit is good, same with normalmax.tv (same band members, different characters played).

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've got a La Coka Nostra cd around here somewhere.


    http://youtu.be/mJW9UtXqLKA

    ReplyDelete
  11. If you like I Am Revenge you should really give Full Blown Chaos a listen. Criminally under rated band.
    http://youtu.be/U4s05YWbdB4

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for review, it was excellent and very informative.
    nice blog
    thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks for review, it was excellent and very informative.
    nice blog
    thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I bet you won't guess what muscle in your body is the #1 muscle that eliminates joint and back pain, anxiety and burns fat.

    This "hidden primal muscle" in your body will boost your energy levels, immune system, sexual function, strength and athletic skill when unlocked.

    ReplyDelete
  15. If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you got to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Get your ex back with TEXT messages?

    ReplyDelete
  16. QUANTUM BINARY SIGNALS

    Professional trading signals delivered to your mobile phone daily.

    Follow our trades NOW & profit up to 270% daily.

    ReplyDelete