"Scientific evidence suggests... we descended from vegetarian ancestors." They cite Caldwell B. Esselstyn for this gem. In his excretory release Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease, this alleged doctor of medicine claims that there is "irrefutable evidence" that humans thrive on a plant-based, oil-free diet. (www.heartattackproof.com) Piling another log atop their Mt. Everest-sized pile of horshit, the Silly Bitches allege, as they did in their previous opus that even if our hominid predecessors did eat a meat-based diet, it doesn't matter because they "looked like friggin' apes and had massive heads, strong jaws, and brute strength. Man was a different animal then." (40)
If your mind isn't fucking blown by this, allow me to explain why it should be. First, the two points, made on the same page, directly contravene one another- on the one hand, we're evolved to eat the same diet rabbits and other vegan rodents enjoy, and on the other, it doesn't matter if we may have evolved from meat eaters, as our hominid ancestors were brutish savages.
Maybe they're on to something- rabbits eat their own shit, don't they?
This, my friends, is exactly what Tucker Max likes to call prototypical "whore logic" (and what those of us who don't want to be stabbed in our sleep refer to as "girl logic"). In the same way that a woman will simultaneously whine about being hungry for three hours and refuse to eat anything you offer her to shut her up, the Silly Bitches make a point and then directly contradict that point with a lack of understanding of human evolution that defies common sense, simple logic, and Google. Were they to utilize the latter of the three, the first two being well beyond their intellectual capacity, they'd have known that the Robust hominids (like Paranthropus Robustus and Australopiticus Bosei) had big heads, sagittal crests, and strong jaws to facilitate the mastication of fiber-dense vegetation. In other words, they had the giant jaws because they were vegetarians. They were not, however, physically imposing specimens, and they are extremely distant human ancestors. The most recent ancestors to homo sapiens sapiens (modern humans) are homo neanderthalensis (Neanderthals) and homo sapiens (Cro-Magnon Man). According to every recent archaeological source I could find, the two hominids had extremely similar diets, and both were about as close to pure carnivores as any primate has ever been.("Bones", "New study") Thus, the Bitches were about as wrong as humanly possible, which is sort of their forte.
On a side note, long-time readers of this blog have by now gathered that I have little use for the government, and trust them about as much as I'd trust John Wayne Gacy in a home for runaway homosexual teenagers. Though I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist, and am generally wary of Truthers, followers of Alex Jones, or anyone who thinks that David Icke is even marginally sane, it's interesting to note that vegan advocate Caldwell B. Esselstyn is a member of Skull and Bones, the secret society that pretty much every crackpot on Earth links with the New World Order. I mentioned in this blog that I think that the US government advocates low-protein diets to make us more docile, and vegan diets (notoriously low in protein) mirror those used by cults to aid in "thought reform."(Brainwashing, Born-Again Brainwashing) Coincidence? Probably, but it's an amusing anecdote.
Carrying on with their evolution logic, they used the same tired biology arguments used by other vegans, like the "fact" that carnivores have saliva with ten times more hydrochloric acid and much shorter intestines than do humans.
I hope that anyone with the ability to form a cogent thought immediately sees through the wild-eyed ignorance of biology that these sorts of statements require. I know of no academic on Earth who will assert, for instance, that humans are pure carnivores. The only land mammal of which I can think offhand that is a pure carnivore is a feline, and even they end up eating grains when people keep them as pets (though it fucks them up all to be damned). This is an important point, because this sort of an argument is little more than a vegetarian strawman- it leaves out omnivores like pigs. Pigs, for those of you who don't know, eat just about anything, including people.
"You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig"." (Brick Top)
Professor Brick Top.
The reason why kids in high school dissect pigs is due to the remarkable similarity between the digestive tract of pigs and that of humans. Neither pigs nor humans have the ability to digest plant cellulose (which herbivores do through fermentation), and this is an excellent sign that they're not pure herbivores. I'll go on, but the subject frankly bores the living shit out of me- I'd rather argue physics with a 10 year old kid with Down's Syndrome than bother trying to explain comparative anatomy to a vegetarian. Everything they know comes from websites, and every one of those websites cites (well, reprint, because they're apparently too exhausted from malnutrition to bother with academic citations) the exact same retarded source (Fit Food For Men, by AD Andrews). It looks like this:
Meat-eaters: have claws
Herbivores: no claws
Humans: no claws
Meat-eaters: have no skin pores and perspire through the tongue
Herbivores: perspire through skin pores
Humans: perspire through skin pores
Meat-eaters: have sharp front teeth for tearing, with no flat molar teeth for grinding
Herbivores: no sharp front teeth, but flat rear molars for grinding
Humans: no sharp front teeth, but flat rear molars for grinding (This is simply stunning, and is too long to bother with typing. Google canine dentition (they have molars) and polar bear molars- Polar bears are considered pure carnivores, and have molars.)
Meat-eaters: have intestinal tract that is only 3 times their body length so that rapidly decaying meat can pass through quickly
Herbivores: have intestinal tract 10-12 times their body length.
Humans: have intestinal tract 10-12 times their body length. (the human intestine is 6-7m long, making it roughly three times as long as the human body.) (Length)
Meat-eaters: have strong hydrochloric acid in stomach to digest meat
Herbivores: have stomach acid that is 20 times weaker than that of a meat-eater
Humans: have stomach acid that is 20 times weaker than that of a meat-eater. (Actually, human gastric acid has a pH of 3.8, and is strong enough to dissolve human teeth.) (Matsou)
Meat-eaters: salivary glands in mouth not needed to pre-digest grains and fruits.
Herbivores: well-developed salivary glands which are necessary to pre-digest grains and fruits
Humans: well-developed salivary glands, which are necessary to pre-digest, grains and fruits
Meat-eaters: have acid saliva with no enzyme ptyalin to pre-digest grains
Herbivores: have alkaline saliva with ptyalin to pre-digest grains
Humans: have alkaline saliva with ptyalin to pre-digest grains (there is little difference between the pH of mammalian saliva between species. These idiots apparently think that Alien blood drips from the mouths of housecats)
Fantastic, isn't it? They managed to construct an entire argument rebutting a claim no thinking person has ever made (that humans are carnivores) while asserting something even more preposterous. Additionally, I find the salivary glands bit amusing, as I've never had a dog that didn't slobber like a motherfucker. Apparently, they've all just wanted me to ram a fucking baguette down their throats and send them on their merry way. Oh, and the book cited in that chart? It doesn't exist. Nor does the author. The publisher renamed itself the National Health Association, and boasts eight members, none of whom is A.D. Andrews... because that motherfucker doesn't exist. Well played, vegans!
Ridgele Abele, alleged champion of karate.
Lastly, the Silly Bitches embarrass themselves with a list of "tough-ass motherfuckers" who are vegetarians or vegans. This list includes a bunch of endurance athletes, Stan Price ("world record holder" in the bench press), Ridgely Abele (8x national karate champ), Sushil Kumar (bronze medalist wrestler), Make Danzig and Jake Shields, Tony Gonzalez and Desmond Howard, and Bill Pearl and Andreas Cahling. Unsurprisingly, this list is jam fucking packed with bullshit. My bullshit-o-meter peaked with Stan Price, who unsurprisingly doesn't exist, much less hold a record in powerlifting. Moving on, Bill Pearl and Andreas Cahling ate a fucking boatload of animal protein at every meal. They might not have been sitting down to a steak that'd choke John Candy's fat ass to death, but Pearl ate a couple of dozen eggs a day and drank fucking GALLONS of milk a day, while Cahling ate nothing but open faced goat cheese sandwiches. (Dynamic Bodies) Ridgely Abele was an old man who won the USKA World Championships in 1983, and I couldn't find shit on his diet. Given that it's a karate association bereft of a single Japanese name in their hall of fame, I'm betting they aren't terribly competitive. Shields eats milk products and protein, and recently got his ass kicked in by a meat eater. Sushil Kumar, like most Hindus, drinks an absolutely absurd amount of milk and eats cans of ghee when training.(Sushil) For those of you who are unaware, ghee is pretty much unholy- you make it my cooking off butter until all of the water is boiled off and nothing but fat and protein remains. For any of you who've roomed with a Hindu, you know that it smells godawful and tastes about as good as it smells. Back to the list- Tony Gonzalez recommends in his own book, the All-Pro Diet, that people should eat grass-fed beef and chicken, which is decidedly un-vegetarian. Desmond Howard, in his own words "eat[s] a lot of chicken and fish" in addition to ground turkey. (Celebrity) The only person the Bitches mentioned who is a verifiable vegan "badass" is Mac Danzig, and he's an admittedly recent convert to the diet as a result of working at a factory farm.(Peta)
In short, the Silly Bitches are entirely full of shit, and simply repeat the same tired bullshit they've heard out of other idiot vegans to serve a purpose I cannot possibly ascertain. Quite frankly, I doubt they could articulate their reasoning either. Should you want information on being a "healthy" vegan, check out Mike Mahler, who outlines Mac Danzig's diet here and has an array of kettlebell videos shot in his backyard. His dog looks pretty cool, which is at least a good start for being a believable authority on anything whatsoever. As for the Bitches, I'm pretty sure they're the reason why Muslims stone broads.
Someone call Al-Quaida... I see a "target of opportunity".
Dynamic Bodies. Vegetarian Diet. http://www.dynamicbodies.com/vegetari.htm
Elert, Glenn. Length of a Human Intestine (citing five separate sources and averaging the results). http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2001/AnneMarieThomasino.shtml
The Family.org Brainwashing and Cultural Diffusion, citing Argentine Judgment of Dec. 13, 1993, Cimara Federal de Apelaciones [Federal Court of Appeals], slip op. 63-64 (Arg.) (official translation). http://www.thefamily.org/dossier/books/book3/chapter4.htm#footnote73
Fitz K. Celebrity Fitzness Report: Heisman Trophy Winner & Super Bowl MVP Desmond Howard. http://www.thatsfit.com/2008/05/29/celebrity-fitzness-report-heisman-trophy-winner-and-super-bowl-mv/
Ins. Sushil puts Boprala on wrestling map of the world. http://www.sify.com/sports/sushil-puts-boprala-on-wrestling-map-of-the-world-news-olympics-jehbpTjgabc.html
Matsou E, Vouroutzis N, Kontonasaki E, Paraskevopoulos KM, Koidis P. Investigation of the influence of gastric acid on the surface roughness of ceramic materials of metal-ceramic restorations. An in vitro study. Int J Prosthodont. 2011 Jan-Feb;24(1):26-9.
PETA. King of the Cage Champ Mac Danzig. http://www.peta2.com/outthere/o-macdanzig.asp
Science Daily. (1/19/06) "New study reveals Neanderthals were as good at hunting as early modern humans."
Sutphen, Dick. The Battle For Your Mind: Persuasion and Brainwashing Techniques Being Used On the Public Today. http://educate-yourself.org/cn/fundamentalistbrainwashing06jun05.shtml
University of Washington (9/23/03) "Bones from Frend cave show Neanderthals, Cro-Magnon hunted same prey." Science Daily.