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31 May 2009

You Can Never Have Too Much Testosterone

More on jacking up your test levels... I recently read, on some forum or another, about a guy who was taking 4g of tribulus a day and felt like it was akin to taking a cc of test. I would venture to guess that statement is wholly spurious, but I decided to try the 4g of trib a day, in conjunction with Vitamin Shoppe's Longjax supplement, which contains Horny Goat Weed, Maca Root, and a variety of other test supporters, and I feel like I can say with a fair degree of confidence that the supplement appears to work pretty well> I figured the extra test would help speed my recovery, and it appears to be doing a bang up job, in addition to giving me some fairly impressive morning wood. According to Wikipedia, Eurycoma longifolia has become popular for its alleged testosterone-enhancing properties. It has therefore been included in some herbal supplements for bodybuilders. Historically, South East Asia has utilised the herb for its suggested antimalarial, antipyretic, antiulcer, cytotoxic and aphrodisiac properties. A couple of studies have shown it to be useful for helping with test production, so I thought it'd go well with tribulus, which has been shown to increase production of LH (lutinizing hormone), which will make your balls bigger, in addition to possibly increasing your bodie's natural testosterone production. Thus, it seems like a marriage made in heaven, and a win-win for me. Other things that raise test levels:
  1. Handling a gun may increase test levels and aggression.
  2. The color red may increase test levels and improve athletic performance.
  3. Being alone in a room with a woman (even those you don't find attractive), causes mens' test levels to rise. I'd venture to guess this doesn't work with women whom you'd find so completely unfuckable as to cause you to consider them fodder for a trip to the camps, but apparently average looking women will do.
  4. Enjoyable music increases dopamine levels, and dopamine levels are positively correllated with testosterone levels, so it's possible that music you like (i.e. metal) will increase your test levels.
  5. Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Segal, and Van Damme movies raise your test levels. Take my fucking word for it.

A 62 year old man with enough test for 20 men.

WE ARE THE HUNTERS! We kill the weak so the strong survive. You can't stop the New World. Your filthy society will never get rid of people like us. It's breeding them! WE ARE THE FUTURE!

4 comments :

  1. There is something wrong with you. You put SEGAL on here and not Chuck Norris? Really? wtf. (I did physically BELLY laugh at that line though!)

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  2. Where is that last pic from? 1) He is not 62 in it. 2) When did he get shoulder tats?

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  3. Something sold at vitamin shop = test? I think that is highly unlikely. I'm going to sneak into the library and see what I can find out about it.

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  4. As for Norris, he is the man, but his movies lack the bloodshed of the others.

    The last pic is allegedly from his training for the expendables. No idea where the tats came from.

    I'm not saying it will hit you like a cc of test, but it'll definitely up your serum levels.

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