Pimpin' Ain't Easy #2- Ain't No Half Steppin' When You're Overhead Pressin'

Recently on Reddit, I was horrified to discover a discussion about Joe Defranco's comments regarding the overhead press.  His the gist of his article, available here if you want to spend five minutes screaming "HORSESHIT!" at your computer, is as follows:

"Only one in fifty athletes I see can overhead press without risk, but they're the genetic outliers, born with more "room" in there than most of us have. And even for them, we'll only work in two-week cycles of light to moderate-weight push presses, Bradford presses, and neutral-grip strongman log presses."(Defranco)

He's a genetic miracle, right Dr. DeFranco?

Rather than dismissing this article as the fucking poppycock that it is, a multi-page paean to weakness was created wherein everyone on that site whined like a dog with his balls stuck underneath a pile of cinderblocks about how horribly their shoulders hurt after overhead pressing.  They do this because they're not real strength athletes, and neither is Joe Defranco- they're idiots obsessed with bench pressing since they touched a barbell.  As such, their shoulders are horribly pronated due to tight pecs and weak backs, and this  ridiculous situation is exascerbated by the fact that the vast majority of them spend the bulk of their time sitting, slouched, and typing on a fucking keyboard all day long.  Clearly, this goes on long after the workday's finished, as they have time to blather about weightlifting on internet chatboards rather than getting their max squat over 315.  Thus, most people have biomechanically fucked themselves into a shitty physique and a lot of internet bitching.  On top of that, you have the fact that most people rarely do any kind of overhead pressing.  According to Greg Zulak, "Arthur Jones pointed out that the average untrained man can actually press much more than he can bench press, and the only reason powerlifters and bodybuilders bench more than they can press is that they practice benching more than pressing, and emphasize it more in their programs."(Zulak)  As such, they've got no groove on the overhead lifts and they're fighting tight tendons, a weak back, and an unremitting desire to sit or lay down on something padded every time they enter the gym.

STAND THE FUCK UP IN THE GYM.  YOU SIT ALL FUCKING DAY, DICKFACE.  THIS IS WHY YOU LOOK LIKE A PILE OF FUCKING LAUNDRY SOAKED IN MAYONNAISE.

So, how to resolve this issue?

1. Start fucking overhead pressing.  Do these while standing.  You don't need to come out of the gates trying to hit the numbers I suggested in part one of this series- just start light.  Learn the movement.  I'm talking 25% of your bodyweight for very strict sets of 10 on military presses.  As you get stronger and more comfortable, your range of motion will increase and and shoulder twinges you have should be reduced.   Do this at least twice a week, and preferably three times a week.  You need to learn the movement, and the weight is going to be light enough that you shouldn't be too fatigued.  At least initially, avoid push presses and focus on getting smooth, full-range repetitions on strict military press.  That'll build tremendous strength in your triceps and shoulders and leave you in much better shape for explosive movements later on.   
2. While you're doing this, start working heavy rows into your routine at least once a week.  I'm talking heavy fucking Pendlay rows, from the floor, blasting yourself in the chest with the bar at the top of your pull.  These will be the polar opposite of the rep speed and level of control you use on the military press, but you're in no danger of injuring yourself worse than a bruise with these, and you need to build back strength in a fucking hurry. 
3. Once you've built a basic platform from which to press, namely a strong back and shoulders capable of pressing a weight overhead ("HORRORS!" says Joe DeFranco!), it's time to start training the overhead press seriously.  We'll say the watershed for this is hitting 85% of your bodyweight for 3 sets of 5 strict reps.  Once you're there, start upping the ante on the overheads.  De-emphasize bench pressing for the first time in your life and start doing standing military press, push press, or behind the neck push press first in your workout.
4. Come to the startling realization that anyone with a brain's already had- Joe Defranco is full of shit.  His programs are shit, and he thinks you're a flaming fucking pussy with an asscrack full of whipped cream who wears a disposable party hat and matching anklets to bed every night.  I know that makes no sense- he's the one who thinks it, not me.  Take a look at his programs- they're as unoriginal as any I've ever seen, and low intensity to boot.  They're about as likely to produce champions as Ellen Degeneres is erections- that shit's just not fucking happening.  Check it out- for $40 you get the workout every high school kid does without ever hearing Defranco's name, in addition to warmups from track practice and conditioning from wrestling practice!  Congratulations!  You just paid a substantial amount of money to relive what was probably a shitty four years.

I realize that a great many of you might be considering a rush to DeFranco's defense.  Before you utterly embarrass yourselves, however, let's look at a little thing i like to call "reality".  In reality, where you and I live.  In reality, there's a country called Bulgaria that has a population that numbers almost a million fewer people than New York City, yet has amassed 36 medals at the Olympics in weightlifting (12 gold, 16 silver, 8 bronze) in the last 100 years.  By comparison, the US has 43 total medals, in spite of the fact that our population is comprised of roughly 300 million more people.  Using the produce of DeFranco's genius, Bulgaria shouldn't even be able to field a weightlifting team, much less dominate the sport, and yet they do.  Why?

Because they fucking overhead press.  Morning, noon, and night.  Six days a week, they're putting heavy weights over their heads and doing it with the sort of impetuousness and general contempt for gravity that you'd only expect out of a drunken midget shot out of a cannon.  Most Olympic weightlifting teams, no matter their level of success, follow the Bulgarian prescription to some degree, and those teams with the most success lift most often.  Their shoulders haven't fallen off, blown up, or caught fire, and Olympic weightlifters routinely have some of the most developed shoulders on Earth- all from putting weights overhead daily.

Even powerlifters benefit from overhead pressing- recently deceased badass Doug Furnas did behind the neck presses religiously and was the first many to total 2400 lbs twice at 275.  (Gallagher 53)  Ed Coan joined him in this, doing 5x2-8 reps on the behind the neck press once a week (Gallagher 62)  Former Olympic weightlifting phenoms and total assholes Bob Bednarski and Norm Schemanski both put weights overhead four times a week while working full-time, labor-intensive jobs.(Gallagher 28)  Jim Wendler recommends weekly overhead pressing for powerlifters (5/3/1 for Powerlifting).  Paul Anderson pressed overhead, fucking HEAVY, three times a week (Gallagher 15)  Fuck, even Paul Kelso recommends adding overhead pressing in his workouts, and he recommends you do virtually no lifting whatsoever.  The only person of whom I can think of off the top of my head who might agree with Mighty Joe DeFranco is Bob Cicherillo, the bodybuilder famous for not winning a motherfucking thing while preaching a gospel of not doing any real lifting in favor of fucking about on machines all day long like you work at Jiffy Lube.  His physique, as a result, is bizarre, unsettling, and generally godawful, and again- he never won a motherfucking thing.

The anti-functional physique- he can't bench, squat, deadlift, or overhead press a paperweight.

Thus, Joe Defranco's full of shit, most of the people who post on Reddit appear to be flaming vaginas, and you should be working overhead movements into your workouts at least twice a week.  If you need tips on the form, go here.  I'm not in the business of form critiques- just be fucking intelligent about it and utilize form that doesn't murder your shoulders.  That means that rather than debating with other idiots online whether you should pack or shrug your shoulders at the top of a movement, try them both and see which works for you- I found that shrugging my shoulders at the top of the lift completely fucked my shoulder to bits.  If you're unclear about the difference, go here for an explanation of the two.  I don't give a homeless guy's greasy balled shit which one you do- just figure out which works for you and fucking do it already.  If you're horribly inflexible, I'd recommend against the shrug.  All of the powerlifters I've seen with decent overhead presses pack their shoulders as well, so that's something to keep in your back pocket... i.e. avoid shrugging your shoulders when the bar is at full extension on an overhead press.

For those legions of you who've complained to me that you can't overhead press for shit and who've asked me for some panacea or quick fix, here it is- FUCKING OVERHEAD PRESS.  The only way you'll get better at it is to do it.  A lot.  That's how the greats did it, and that's how you're going to do it.  You're not genetically predisposed, physically, to sucking at the movement.  It's your goddamned brain that makes you suck, not your shoulders or your genes.

Go put some weight overhead, fuckers, and stop paying attention to assholes who don't understand that there's no "best" way for everyone to lift weights and who think that you're an even bigger pussy than you likely make yourself out to be on message boards.  With that, however, I will reassert that the only reason you'd lift a kettlebell is because you're too fucking weak to lift a barbell, so let's keep this out of the realm of Dragon Door and in the realm of strength training, shall we?

Sources:
Gallagher, Marty.  Purposeful Primitive.
Rader, Pearry.  Training on the Olympic Lifts.  http://ditillo2.blogspot.com/2011/12/training-on-olympic-lifts-peary-rader.html
Zulak, Greg.  The Press.  http://ditillo2.blogspot.com/2011/12/press-greg-zulak.html