25 July 2011

[NSFL] Evil Will Always Triumph, Because Good Is Dumb: The Science... Continued.

Well, the bottom line, what I'm trying to tell you tonight, 
is that evil...eeeevil... is necessary. 
Evil is necessary, thereby, if it's necessary, evil... 
- Evil... - ...must be good. 
Evil is good. 

Brigands, thugs, hooligans, scoundrels... anti-heroes and anti-heroines.  That's who grabs the fucking ring at the top of a mountain after three movies consisting of nothing but a shitload of walking, punctuated by brief periods of sobbing and a hell of a lot of Liv Tyler not being shirtless, not some fatass and his pre-pubescent shitheel friend- that shit only happens in godawful movies and overly-long, badly written stories.  This is why the Punisher and Batman's sales will always beat Superman's, and why the white knights of the interwebz will continue to remain unlaid- no one fucks a nice guy, and few people will follow a "nice guy" anywhere but to church.  
Funny how none of the pacifists in The Chronicles of Riddick got any vag, but Vin Diesel couldn't wipe his ass without the hottest broad in the movie following him into the bathroom and asking if he needed help.

Not unlike the legendary strength and tenacity of Wolverine, regular people with  a mean streak have been shown in a variety of studies to outperform the nice.  This should come as no surprise to anyone- just like the ultra evil Darkseid killed off goody two-shoes, Cub Scout Superman, African honey badgers tear the living shit out of much larger animals like gazelles, fuels by nothing but hate and a diet heavy in meat products.  Like the honey badger and Darkseid, it's critical that you channel your inner Hulk and fucking yell and smash until whatever stands in your way is reduced to smoking rubble.
Ever notice that comic book characters clench their fists more than Channing Tatum clenches his jaws while trying to figure out how to get a single human emotion to pass across his robotic, crunk dancing face?  There's actually a pretty fucking good reason for that hand clenching- other than looking cool, it makes the clencher stronger.  Experiments show that physically gripping something boosts your endurance and mental willpower. This phenomenon hasn't just been restricted to a single study of meta-analysis of Jason Statham movies, who clenches his fists and bunches his shoulders better than anyone- rather, it's been proven in a whole series of experiments. In one, they found that people could endure pain twice as long (in this case, from holding their hands in icy water) if they squeezed the holy fuck out of an object with their other hand at the same time. Another study found that the same could be applied to people trying to exhibit a modicum of willpower when making food choices- if they rolled into the store with their shoulders bunched and their fists clenched like they were summoning their inner Hugh Jackman meets Ambrose Burnside, they were far better at resisting the urge to buy junk food.  Take note, those of you with shitty willpower- if you just act angry as all hell at your bodyfat when ordering a meal, you're far more likely to eat like a machine and hate yourself into looking good.(Daily Mail)  
It works for some.

And you know what makes you stronger still? Thinking evil thoughts. I realize that at this point it sounds like I'm making this shit up, but according to a study at Harvard, people who imagined themselves doing shit like raping puppies and knocking over liquor stores were able to hold a five pound weight far longer than those who tried to think up boring good deeds like helping old ladies across the road or telling your booty call that you respect them in the morning. Yes, ladies, this means that channeling your most horrible tentacle rape fantasy might enable you to squat more... although I cannot be held accountable if you kill yourself under a heavy weight dues to leg shaking brought on by fantasizing and involuntary kegel flexing.(Naughty or Nice)
Behold the dawn of a new type of preworkout supplement.

Speaking of hentai, porn does a body good.  According to some sources, pornographers pointedly attempt to elicit the "maximum drug/hormone release by mixing sexual images with male dominance, aggression and violent images intended to shock and stimulate simultaneously", which stimulates the production of much higher baseline levels of hormones essential to getting strong and lean, "especially testosterone, but also adrenaline, epinephrine, and others".  Not only does it create an awesome biofeedback loop, particularly in men, but watching porn causes an immediate release of "enormous amounts of additional testosterone, which further increase male narrowing, loss of reason, feelings of aggression, and sexual drive and arousal."  In other words, porn lets you win while you're watching it, and then win again thereafter when you experience heightened baseline levels of testosterone thereafter.  (Netnanny)  But what about furry porn / shit porn / tentacle rape / throatfucking or whatever dark secret-style porn you have lurking on your computer?  Great news, ladies and gentleman- that shit simply makes you more awesome.  According to M. Williams, paraphilias are triggered by, and cause the release of, massive amounts of testosterone.  That shit is so potent, in fact, that psychiatrists use massive doses of antiangrogenic drugs like methylprogesterone to control these "deviant" predilections.  As such, you should probably just go ahead and masturbate to www.hogtied.com to your hearts' content... though I'd refrain from doing so at work.  (Williams)
Testosterone... rising...

While we're on the subject of sexual piccadillos, spanking appears to increase aggression as well.  Studies have shown that frequent use of corporal punishment, even mild corporal punishment, correlates with increased levels of aggression.(Taylor)  Other studies, like that of Mazur and McDermott  have "stated that males with higher testosterone levels tend to be slightly more aggressive, and argue that this appears to be due to the way acting aggressively raises testosterone levels rather than the reverse."  It's not just the person doing the floggings who's gettine the benefit, either.  Aggressive and violent behavior has been definitively shown to increase testosterone levels as well, particularly when a person is on the offensive.(Salvador)  As such, the next time you're fucking, you might want to break out the flogger if you're interested in hitting a PR on the deadlift anytime soon- no matter which side of the whip you're on, you're bound to benefit... literally.

For those of you out there without a ready sexual partner, fret not- the Dark Side's got a lotta mo.  Aside from the aforementioned benefits of porn, you can still derive plenty of benefits from such activities as cursing, playing violent video games, and listening to aggressive music.  Yup, those weekend nights spent screaming expletives into your headset as you slaughter motherfuckers on Call of Duty while blasting metal in the background are definitely giving your endocrine system a boost, in addition to alleviating post lifting soreness.  A 2010 study by Bushman and his associates showed that "violent video games can stimulate aggression for an extended period of time."  This will, as I showed above, raise your testosterone levels in turn.  Compounding that effect is the music you've invariably got playing in the background, as I highly doubt anyone's rocking Abba or Neil Diamond while attempting to murder half the Western World.  No fewer than five experiments have shown that "violent songs led to more aggressive interpretations of ambiguously aggressive words, increased the relative speed with which people read aggressive vs. nonaggressive words, and increased the proportion of word fragments (such as h_t) that were filled in to make aggressive words (such as hit)."(Anderson)  Rounding out this trifecta of awesome is the fact that the curse words you're screaming at a rate that makes Goodfellas seem G-rated by comparison has actually been shown in clinical studies to reduce the perception of pain, which means that the DOMS you're feeling from five consecutive days of squatting won't feel so horrifying.  The effect of swearing on pain perception is actually shown to be more pronounced in women than men, so ladies, feel free to start swearing like sailors.(Stephens)  Either way, the use of expletives will allow you to endure more pain for longer than your goodie-two shoes opponents... all of which explains why the kids rocking clan tags like [GODS] suck so fucking badly as the night wears on.  In short, pretty much the only good reason to ever listen to ICP would be to help you through a particularly brutal squat of deadlift session, as even humorous violent songs will increase aggression levels, and singing along will alleviate a considerable portion of the pain.  Time to crank up the "Shaggy Show", I suppose.
Finally, for those of you who think that all of this anger is going to "burn you up", as posited by Powers Booth in Red Dawn, studies have shown that anger is actually a healthier response to external stimuli than fear.  According to researchers, people who responded to the World Trade Center attacks with anger-filled outbursts were much more optimistic later on, and another study found that people think better and more logically when angry rather than scared.(Lerner)  “Anger can sometimes be adaptive. We’re showing for the first time that when you are in a situation that is maddening and in which anger or indignation are justifiable responses, anger is not bad for you.”  This means that whenever you're driving, reading the poisonously insipid thoughts of ill-bred minds online, walking, speaking to someone in public, or brushing your teeth, you are actually doing yourself a multitude of favors by descending into a maelstrom of hate and destruction the likes of which the world hasn't seen since the gods destroyed Japan.  All that hate's not going to burn you up- it'll keep you warm, increase your protein utilization and give you a better sex drive.  Additionally, hate sex is great sex, so you'll have that going for you as well.
Anger is a gift, just like this fucking movie.

In my search, I did find one thing that both men and women should try to avoid before hitting the gym, and it's not just marriage.  As I blogged before, marriage has a deleterious effect on testosterone production, but even more pronounced than that effect is that which occurs when a man holds an infant.  (Mirkin, )  Women, too, might want to avoid handing small children before hitting the gym, as this effect could manifest in them as well, and because "women with high levels of [testosterone] are judged more attractive by themselves and others" in addition to possibly being more sexually active with more partners.  Additionally, studies show that in women "T [is] significantly related to "aggressive dominant behavior"" and that "the women's self assessment of their own status was positively correlated with the hormone" in studies on testosterone and aggression in women.  As such, it's best to do everything you can to maximize your test levels whether you're a man or a woman.  I'd recommend latex gloves when handling babies, but I doubt that'd do you too much good.  In some cases, it's unavoidable, but you can utilize some of the above strategies to cleanse yourself if you can't avoid baby-handling- and frankly, it gives you a damn good reason to hit up porntube.
Proof:  Batman is cooler than Superman

In closing, I feel my case is compelling- nice guys and girls will finish last in the gym (though probably first in the bedroom).  Aggression and testosterone work in a kind of feedback loop, each fueling the other and creating a perpetual motion machine of awesome, if you give them the right kind of boosts.  As such, you can literally fake it til you make it, and once you make it, you will continue inexorably into the land of brutal PRs, increased  "coordination, cognitive performance, and concentration"(Mazur) and generally just being a far more interesting individual.  
Maybe it's time to add a "get hammered, eat some meat, have a fight, and have wildly kinky drunken sex with a stranger" day (aka Viking Day) to your program.

     Anderson CA, Carnagey NL, Eubanks J.  Exposure to Violent Media: The Effects of Songs With Violent Lyrics on Aggressive Thoughts and Feelings.  Iowa State University and Texas Department of Human Services. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 84, No. 5.
     Bradt, S.   "Strength in Naughty or Nice".  Harvard Gazette. 4/19/2010. http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/04/strength-in-naughty-or-nice/
     Bushman BJ, Gibson B. Violent Video Games Cause an Increase in Aggression Long After the Game Has Been Turned Off. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2010
     Dabbs, J. M., Jr., Carr, T. S., Frady, R. L., & Riad, J.K. (1995). Testosterone, crime, and misbehavior among 692 male prison inmates. Personality and Individual Differences, 18(5), 627-633.
     Daily Mail. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1321939/Tensing-muscles-helps-summon-willpower.html
      Lerner JS, Tiedens LZ.  Portrait of The Angry Decision Maker: How Appraisal Tendencies Shape Anger’s Influence on Cognition.  J. Behav. Dec. Making, 19: 115–137 (2006).  http://content.hks.harvard.edu/lernerlab/papers/files/Lerner%20Tiedens%20-%20Portrait%20of%20the%20angry%20decision%20maker%205.06.pdf
      Mazur A, Booth A.  Testosterone and Dominance in Men.  Behavioural and Brain Sciences.  1997.  http://cogprints.org/663/1/bbs_mazur.html
      McDermott R, Johnson D, Cowden J, Rosen S.  Testosterone and Aggression in a Simulated Crisis Game.  The ANNALS of the American Academy of Political and Social Science 2007; 614; 15.  
     Mirkin, G.  Does Marriage Affect a Man's Testosterone?  http://www.drmirkin.com/men/testosterone.html
     Net Nanny.  http://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/117
     Salvador A, Suaya F, Martinez–Sanchisa S, Simona VM, Brain PF. Correlating testosterone and fighting in male participants in judo contests.  Physiology & Behavior Volume 68, Issues 1-2, 1 December-15 December 1999, Pages 205-209
     Stephens, R. et al (2009). Swearing as a response to pain. NeuroReport 120: 1056-1060.
     Taylor CA, Manganello JA, Lee SJ, Rice JC.  Mothers' Spanking of 3-Year-Old Children and Subsequent Risk of Children's Aggressive Behavior.  PEDIATRICS Vol. 125 No. 5 May 2010, pp. e1057-e1065.
     Williams, M.  Ph.D.  "Sexual Compulsivity."  http://www.brainphysics.com/paraphilias.php


  1. So in short aggressive behavior makes a man more awesome in the gym and bed..... right then you motherfuckers, it's time for this timid, confrontation avoiding bastard to get his aggro on!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Hey man, two things. Have you ever tried meditation? What are your thoughts on the russian bear program (by Pavel in Power to the People) Thanks

  3. Oh, by asking your thoughts on the bear program, I tried to ask you for some help to put together something based on that.

  4. LOL! All the Chaos and Pain readers are so good at THINKING aggressive thoughts. Have fun being baddasses in fantasyland, boys.
    Everybody's going to swear a lot tomorrow... OH NO!

    I've still never seen Football Factory. I wonder if it's on filestube.

  5. Turisas!

    Cheeseball battle metal is a good change from deathcore every now and then.

  6. i am married and so are most of my friends. i can say the amount of testosterone they have pummping through their veins is comparable to a female infant. i do everything i can to keep my T levels high. i may have to add fetish porn to my viewing.

  7. @Chuck- HAHAHAHA. Well, hopefully I've given you some fuel for the fire.

    @Glen- That movie is the unadulterated shit. If anyone would like it, you would.

    @K- I know nothing whatsoever about the Russian Bear program. In fact, I would have assumed that to be a Val Vasilif production in conjunction with his multivitamin. I have Power to the People, so I'll check it out and see what's up. I'll either throw it into a AtA or make it it's own blog, though the next one I have in the work is a review of the book The Dukan Diet.

  8. If you like agressive music, check out Kickback - No Surrender. Hardcore about fetish porn, De Sade, human filth, debauchery and hate.


    Their MCD, les 150 passions meurtrieres (150 passion murders) will probably impossible to find. But definatly worth searching. The outro is straight from a porn-movie.
    Here's a song:

  9. That vocalist is fucking godawful. He makes Dwid seem good by comparison. Music's not bad though.

    The world needs more Rick Ta Life / Ryan Vengeance styled hardcore vox.

    1. Man you weren't kidding. That singer sounds like a girl getting stepped on.

  10. Estaré esperando por el post Jaime

  11. Cool. And in re the meditation, I've tried twice and failed miserably. How? Fell asleep. I've actually got 8 minute meditation though, and plan to read it this weekend.

  12. Any of you guys who are married and not enjoying your sex lives are totally missing the point of being married.

  13. I can't stop watching the preview videos on HOGTIED.COM

  14. Glen- You appear to be missing the fact that you're in a very, very small statistical minority.

    Adebisi- EXACTLY.

  15. That might be true but I don't understand why it has to be.
    You and your spouse should indulge in every sexual fantasy you both have.
    I think a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. They marry the wrong people, maybe because of peer pressure or family pressure. Maybe it's because she got knocked up. Maybe it's because one or the other or both think they're so good-looking that they're going to be some kind of hollywood-esque power couple meanwhile other than their looks they have nothing in common. Maybe a lot of people in this generation just never grow up enough to be capable of sharing a home (never mind an entire lifetime) together and so they remain in a twenty-something mindset forever and end up divorced, cheating on each other or just miserable for life. Whatever the reason, there are a lot of incompatible geeks out there who never should have gotten married in the first place.
    I'm losing my train of thought here. By way of a very simple example based on the current subject matter, if you like to hogtie women, make sure you're in a relationship with a woman who likes to be hogtied. How do you find out? Ask her, you fucking plug!

  16. my father does a lot of meditation, google OSHO, my friend

  17. My Indian roommate in my MBA program was into that shit, and I got a first hand view of his apparent descent into insanity. I might just stick with sitting quietly for 10 minutes, haha.

  18. Good may be dumb...

    But none of this justifies listening to ICP. Sorry.

  19. Nathan is definitely right.

  20. and I decided to read more. As a conclusion, I threw a hearty fuck you to the russian bear program, fuck the russians. Digging deeper in the blog and inquiring I realised that the russian bear program is actually like the basics of chaos and pain, except from the fact that the russians' just use two exercises and a periodization scheme (cycles, weight progressions, etc). Therefore, I resolved that I am going to follow just your recommendations and use low reps, heavy volume and a shitload of variety. If you have got anything extra to point out and advise that is not in "the basics of chaos and pain" post, I would be pleased to read it. I got tired of reading, you've got a mound of posts.

  21. Fuck, blogger ate half my comment.

    The first lines said something similar to... "Oh, I got bored of being a lazy bastard and..."

  22. Which you directly contradicted with the last line of your comment, haha. This pretty much sums it up: http://chaosandpain.blogspot.com/2011/01/chaos-and-pain-commandments.html

  23. haha, I've just found that post, the human being is thoroughly full of duality, don't fucking judge me, haha, thanks

  24. Wow! That was some roommate.

    Oh, and marry a woman that gets migraines. I can vouch for the fact that they're hypersexual and just can't get enough!

  25. Theodore Roosevelt, Herman Goerner, Winston Churchill, Jack Dempsey, Paul Anderson, Mark Henry, Daniel Mendoza, John Brookfield, Alexander Karelin... Aside from all being fucking awesome, all these men had wives.

  26. Three of them were fat to the point where sex was a near impossibility and at least four of them lived in a time/place where it was acceptable to have a mistress.

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