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03 September 2012

Chaos and Bang Your Earballs #15 (Allegedly)

Paul and I finally got around to posting another installment.  I've been sort of cloistered in an effort to finally finish the ebook, which should go on sale this evening.  In any event, we cover:

  • Paul's grave error in failing to see Expendables 2, which will explode your face if you've not already seen it
  • A couple of other movies worth seeing, and mini-reviews of the Dictator and the Bourne Legacy
  • the latest "doping scandal", in which I'm pretty sure my voice rose to an earsplitting shriek in the midst of my wild-eyed rant
  • the oldest and youngest broads we'd realistically fuck
  • a tiny bit of training 
  • upcoming meets

If you liked the song in the intro/outro, it's off the Warriors' first disc, War is Hell.  If you didn't like it, eat shit.  That song is the tits.

In other news, this cyclist has legs bigger than yours, and is the guy I was looking up when I stopped paying attention to Paul altogether near the end of the podcast:  Robert Förstemann is on the German Olympic team for cycling and doubles 572 on the squat at a bodyweight of 200 lbs.


  1. Once again, Jamie's never happier than when he's sucking up to (or off) some steroid taker (Robert Förstemann). Who cares how big his legs are? Put him on a desert island with just good food to eat and weights to lift (no steroids), and his legs will shrink. Because he's a cunt. In his favour though, he's on a level playing field with your mate Paul Carter (ie, both on roids), but from pictures on his site it's hard to tell if Paul even works out at all. Pause squats only in the mid 400's even with regular jabs of test ethanate (and prohormones). Is he ill?

    1. Yea Paul's whole training thing is ultra low volume, no idea how it works for him, I guess the test helps. We'll see how he performs at the next meet.

    2. Hey asshole, I have a quad injury that is limiting my squats. In the meantime I routinely close grip 405 easily, overhead more than you can squat, and pull mid 600's.

      Basically you're a fucking window licking troll that is weak and pathetic.

      I'm also not on prohormones or enanthate. So not only are you weak, but you're stupid as well. Go figure.

    3. Don't feed the trolls Paul. He can't even use his real identity. Why listen to a man who hides his face?

    4. Ha ha, didn't take long for a homo white knight to step in and defend his honor. Maybe you'll get a blow job out of it Ben!! As to the steroids Paul, my mistake. I thought you were Paul Carter from lift run bang who did a whole series called 'Darksidin'' where he detailed his steroid use, dosages etc, including use of oral prohormones before meets. Obviously not you....

    5. Obviously you don't know how to read because none of that is in there.

      I bet you can count to potato.

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  2. Why the fuck do you have to sign up to a shitty website to listen to a fucking podcast? thanks for wasting my time, twat. stick to the gay porn

    1. With the time it took you to type the comment, you could have made an account and started your download.

  3. There is so much anger going on in these comments. It's messing with my jam.

    1. Yep.

      As I see, nothing wrong with anger, but it's much better suited in gym, sex, etc. Rage comments? Come on.

  4. Bitch all you like. The guy is a freaking Olympic athlete. Are you? If your answered "no", then please sit the fuck down.
    If you dont like the podcast, don't listen.

    1. "The guy is a freaking Olympic athlete" - on steroids, therefore a cheat.

      "Are you?" - Yes. And i'm after the olympic record for fucking Alex Matthews mom.

  5. self employed "selling t-shirts" i see these guys every time i go on vacation in mexico hocking goods.

    so much for an MA in the USA.

  6. Why does someone always complain about needing to sign up to download? You fucking well don't. I did this last time and I'll do it again:

    1. Click the blue logo in the top left of the player
    2. Click the blue 'download now' box (the others are ad bullshit)
    3. Click the grey 'free download' box and wait the 20 seconds
    4. Save the file to your computer then listen however the fuck you like

  7. Yeah, who cares how big that guys legs, put him on a desert island with no food for a week and he'll lose weight. Where are his big legs now? Who cares how smart someone is, if you cut their head off, they're not very smart are they?
    Go fuck yourself rant

    1. Ha ha, ok, i'll do that. Just as soon as i've finished fucking your mom :)

    2. How could an inbred, severely retarded troll fuck my mum?

    3. You beat me to it!! I was going to say with a bag over her head.

  8. In Find A Way To Keep Moving Forward #2 you wrote "As the only dynamic permutation of this of which I could think was jump squats, I started doing those prior to either front or back squat partials."

    Any thoughts on what someone could use as a dynamic/strength movement for bench. The only one I could come up with was Bench Throws. The more I think about these, however, the more I think about missing the bar and knocking all my teeth out.

    1. Medicine balls throws and various plyo pushups come to mind.

    2. I used to do a lot of ballistic dips- throw yourself off the parallel bars and then catch yourself as you come down. Other than that, bench throws in the smith machine, or the suggestions above work.

  9. I laff at the hate comments every tiem
    @Matt Siders - Medicine ball throws are good. If you have access to a smith machine you can always use that as well (set the fucking safeties)

  10. The steroid issue has to be addressed some point...but to go back to Fostermann...It's really, really hard for a German cop, on the no-notice drug testing list to use steroids. Sprint cycling isn't a money sport and he needs his job. Germany, like the US,scandinavia, Canada and other western democracies are all too eager to catch their own athletes. Ask Lance. That being said there is something homo-erotic about Fostermann, isn't there?

  11. I'll address the steroid issue, think of your favorite professional athlete, they probably use proformence enhancement, or smoke pot, have tons of sex, drink, gamble, or are human in some other way and not perfect as you expect them to be. Stop living in fantasy land

  12. There's some good news on Armstrong, his wins haven't actually been stripped yet. UCI has said they recognise USADA's authority and will follow through, just as soon as USADA provides them with evidence against Lance.

  13. I've also found that UCI wasn't under WADA (which the USADA is the lackey of, and whose rules Lance is accused of breaking) until fucking 2010.

  14. Now this top line translates into, "Pharoah gobbles donkey goobers," and the bottom line, "Cleopatra does the nasty."

  15. So what happened with your job, did you quit or get fired?

  16. Can I get a download link? I'm on mobile and can't stream for shit.