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12 May 2012

Tired Of My Music Recommendations? Tough Shit.

If you guys hadn't noticed, I've been breaking my ass coming up with content of late, and I'm taking the weekend off.  As such, I'm giving you new content that isn't terribly time consuming.  Additionally, I get dozens of emails asking for more recommendations.  As such, those of you who don't like that shit can suck my fucking dick.  The bands are the tits.


Recognize- Revenge. Recognize brings together the best of a couple of genres- toughguy hardcore, deathcore, and old-school two-step Hatebreed style moshbros-core.  They're in a weird hiatus status waiting for people to give them money to restart as a band or somesuch nonsense, and quite frankly, they're a worthy charity.  This shit is the truth- it's a bunch of pissed-off, face tatted, apparent Satanists playing misogynistic moshcore.  Witness:
That clothing company's about to do bumper business with me, too.
Recon- Hell.  For those amongst you who are long in the tooth like myself and 1990s hardcore kids, you'll likely remember the straightedge hardcore badasses One King Down and their epic dancefloor destroying song "Bloodlust Revenge".  Their original vocalist was Rob Fusco, who's returned to hardcore to break shit and melt faces in Recon.  Recon had a couple of horribly recorded previous releases that would have been great save the shit-poor leveling, but on this one they added a badass vocalist who actually competes in powerlifting and managed to figure out ProTools on this one.  The result was a cd dripping with breakdowns, digital bass booms, and harder than Clint Eastwood lyrics.  If you like Recon but prefer more Hatebreed-esque vox, check out Recon's Hell disc.


This.
Structures- Divided By.  When I write, I generally listen to mathcore, which will likely surprise a lot of you.  The lack of groove in mathcore suits my writing style, as I write in short bursts as a general rule.  In any event, I recently happened across this band, and discovered that not only are they awesome for writing, but they bring the mosh enough to suit my needs when training as well.  If you're not a fan of the aforementioned bands, you might want to give this a try.  If you're not a fan of the aforementioned tits, you're not human.


World Of Pain- World Of Pain.  Combine the styles of Recognize and Recon, make the lyrics even tougher, and add in one of the singers from Billy Club Sandwich on one of the songs.  This is the best shit I've heard since Shattered Realm's first LP.  Epic fucking breakdown at 1:45.  I've been playing this in constant rotation since I first bought it, and if you've any sense at all, you will too.  Adds at least 100 testosterone points per song.

I can't stop posting pics of Alice Goodwin.  Bear with me.

Your Own Destroyer.  I have to admit that I have a terrible weakness for rapcore, and this band is by far and away the most ridiculous entry into that genre.  They combine elements of deathcore, OLC-style wiggerishness, and rap in ways that are awesome beyond any reasonable expectation.  Most of you will probably hate the shit out of this band, but fuck you- this shit is fucking amazing, in spite of the fact that their singer may be wearing an insulin pump. He's fat as shit.

Stout- Sleep Bitch.  I saved the worst recorded and most hilarious for last.  Stout's an anachronism the likes of which I've not seen before.  They're basically a throwback to Bulldoze and Boxcutter, half shouting and half rapping.  Their lyrics are fucking incredible:

Sleep.Count bodies not sheep. 
Go to sleep little creeps. 
Nighty night bye-bye. 
It's a thin line don't deviate, 
you're dancing with the devil and you're playing with fate, 
you don't know me, 
not the me that was the me that is I'm the noxious gas that will kill your kids, 
lay them on their backs, 
turn their souls to black, 
in the small of my back the Pachmayr's packed, 
to help you with those Z's 45 ACP. 
The Sandman cometh it's time for sleep. 
Sleep bitch, sleep bitch, sleep. 

You can't make this shit up.  Download it here and try not to kill yourself laughing.

Next week, I'll finish up the deadlifting series and try to bust out something content laden.  
Because why not.

18 comments :

  1. you and paul sucking each other off over skype doesnt count as content

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  2. By far some of the greatest titties you've posted, thanks.

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  3. alice goodwin and lucy pinder FTW!!!

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  4. Would you use banned drugs if you just couldn't smash that 1700 world record no matter what you did and how hard you tried?

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    Replies
    1. What banned drugs? Pro meets aren't tested.

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  5. Do you still get amusing fan-mail, and if so, any chance for another article on it?

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  6. Post more pics and less music recommendations.

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  7. I didn't react to that rapcore with the appropriate disgust and abject hatred. I'm pondering whether that means I should do society a favor and put a bullet in my head.

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    Replies
    1. 1) if you DIDN'T like the pledge of allegiance at the beginning of the Your Own Destroyer song, you take yourself too seriously

      2) if you kind of sort of unironically like rapcore then embrace it instead of contemplating suicide.

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  8. That first chick picture you posted is photoshopped, second one is not. Which means she got a boob job. I have never before fathomed such absurd levels of insecurity.

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  9. Jamie, I added World Of Pain to my gym playlist just now. Thanks for the recommendation, but I don't like the recent spate of fake tits. Please return to the big natural hangers. That would be much appreciated.

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  10. Jamie,
    In case you haven´t seen it yet, Kiefer has been writing a series about IFing. It kinda goes along with what you think about it...
    Interesting stuff, check it out: http://www.dangerouslyhardcore.com/1270/intermittent-fasting-part-1/

    Also, I think check this podcast if you have the chance, good stuff: http://www.dangerouslyhardcore.com/1387/biojacked-3-mad-max-aita/

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Jamie is away on business right now so can't reply. He's asked me on his behalf to tell you to go get fucked.

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    2. Has even Rant become a nuthugging whiteknight of Jamie Lewis?

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  11. got a toughguy hc recommendation here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WRWca1gB1U

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