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01 March 2011

Run and You'll Only Die Tired, The Evidence Part 2

Lieberman and Bramble, the bumbling duo that brought you the superfantastic shitstorm of ridiculous contentions mentioned in my previous blog of this series, asserted in a number of papers that hominids evolved the ability to sustain lengthy periods of running at a moderate pace two million years ago, and have maintained that ability since.  Perhaps, you might think- Kenyans certainly have the ability to run a long fucking ways, right?  Well, putting aside the fact that their ability is ontogenic, even the most vicious racist wouldn't contend that Africans are subhuman to the degree that this theory would require- the hominids extant 2M years ago looked like this:
Not even remotely human.  H. Habilis, the creature pictured above, had an "ape-like morphology" to their bodies that disappeared over the course of millennia, and had less than half the cranial capacity of modern humans.(Wiki- Cranial Capacity)  If anyone in history was mentally prepared to do nothing but mindlessly chase an animal until it died of exhaustion, it was h. habilis- not modern humans.  As hominids evolved much larger cranial capacities, they developed the ability to *gasp* wield tools and kill shit with them.  Additionally, hominids got progressively larger and more robust, so that the two primary hominid species extant in the paleolithic were some of the baddest motherfuckers ever to walk the Earth.  Though their morphology differed slightly, both Neanderthals and Cro-Magnon man were highly skilled tool makers and artists, and (interestingly) shared identical diets.  For those of you who don't recall the blog where I posted the Neanderthal diet previously consisted of almost nothing but meat, and was comprised of at least twice as many calories as the diet of modern humans.  As it turns out, Cro-Magnon man ate the very same diet, and utilized identical hunting techniques as Neanderthals.("Bones", "New study")
Neanderthals, as you can imagine, were built for nothing more than running.  They fucking loved it.  They'd run all over hell and gone, and then they'd chase a cave bear until it got tired and died.  Oh, wait... that's completely fucking retarded.  While the Tarahumera purportedly run that much, Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons carried heavy weaponry suited to stabbing, rather than throwing, and their skeletons bear damage consistent with close-in fighting with prey.(Richards et al)  This would make sense, given that animal products were the overwhelming source of their calories, and the fact that they evidence suggests they primarily hunted horses, mammoth, beaver, bison, woolly mammoth, mastodon, and saber toothed tigers.(Waguespack et al)  To kill them, Cro-Magnons and Neanderthals would encircle a herd of mastodons or other animals and then drive them off a cliff, or push them into a swamp and slaughter them while their motion was limited.(Big Game, Early Modern)  They were so good at killing these gigantic mammals that they're credited with the extinction of both cave bears and North American horses, in addition to the megafauna die-off in general.  (Clovis Complex)  That doesn't sound like a pack of long-distance runners to me- instead, it sounds like a pack of jacked motherfuckers who practically hated their food to death, and that they would have slaughtered the dinosaurs and Transformers if they'd had the opportunity to meet them in the time/space continuum.  They never saw an animal they didn't want to eat, and it seems they rarely encountered a living thing they felt comfortable letting live another fucking day.
These were not joggers- they were musclebound death machines.

Still unconvinced?  McDougall and his retreat-prone buddies penned their treatises prior to the release of a 2010 study that showed fairly definitively that the human gait was adapted for efficient walking at the cost of efficient running.  According to Professor David Carrier, the human gait is completely dissimilar to that of most mammals, as our feet naturally strike the ground heel-first, rather than landing on the balls of our feet.  Our heels-down foot strike increases the economy of our gait drastically as it "takes 53% more energy to walk on the balls of your feet, and 83% more energy to walk on your toes.  This gait made walking distances very natural for humans, and also "may be advantageous during fighting by increasing stability and applying more torque to the ground to twist, push, and shove" in addition to increasing "agility in rapid turning maneuvers during aggressive encounters."  Carrier does admit that humans are unusually good distance runners, compared to other primates, but asserts that we "are not efficient runners" and that "we consume more energy to run than the typical mammal our size."(Human Gait)  That's pretty much the death knell for the PH theory of human evolution, as we seem far better adapted to sprinting up to a cave bear and thai kicking that motherfucker until its leg breaks, and then following it as it heaves its broken ass through a swamp as a leisurely walk until we dispatch it with a sharp stick, rather than running after it willy-nilly in the often vain hope that the thing we're chasing won't outrun us.
Either of these men could thai kick any animal to death, but they're sure as shit not going to run 300 miles after a duiker.

... and I haven't even gotten to the fucking indians in Born to Run yet.  More this week on those silly motherfuckers.

Incidentally, McDougall's buddies make a lot of noise about the size of the human ass and its necessity for running, claiming that's the reason humans evolved it.  That's bullshit- the human ass evolved to be large due to the fact that it's a mating sign to other primates in the wild... and the human female ass is the only posterior that signals "it's time to fuck" 24/7/365, which means we outbreed other primates like a motherfucker.
Game. Set. Match.

Big Game Hunters.  http://www.mnsu.edu/emuseum/prehistory/hunters/index.shtml
Clovis Complex.  http://www.cabrillo.edu/~crsmith/clovis.html
Early Modern Human Culture.  http://www.palomar.edu/homo/mod_homo_5.htm
Richards MP, Pettitt PB, Trinkas E, Smith FH, Paunovic M, Karavanic I.  Neanderthal diet at Vindijia and Neanderthal predation: the evidence from stable isotopes.  PNAS (2000) 97: 13 7663-7666.
Waguespack NM, Surovell TA.  Clovis Hunting Strategies or how to make out on plentiful resources.  American Antiquity, Vol
Wikipedia: Cranial Capacity.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cranial_capacity
University of Washington (9/23/03) "Bones from French cave show Neanderthals, Cro-Magnon hunted same prey." Science Daily. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/09/030923065212.htm
Science Daily.  (1/19/06) "New study reveals Neanderthals were as good at hunting as early modern humans." http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/01/060118210756.htm
Science Daily.  (02/12/10) "Human gait adapted for efficient walking at the cost of efficient running."

39 comments :

  1. You fucker! you used my shit both about cornering large animals and driving them off cliffs and also about cavemen and dinosaurs. jk I didnt have any sources to cite about the animals and you'd be surprised (or maybe not) how many dipshits believe that the cavemen killed off the dinosaurs. I'm not so sure about the whole walking heel toe thing cause I think a lot of indians (feathers not dots) tend to walk and run on thier toes and my experience in the military was that they were some distance running MFers. I do agree though that its very innefficient to run an animal to death rather than ambush it and kill it. Its a big waste of calories and anyone whose ever hunted dear knows that they dont just trot in front of you trying to stay just ahead of you. They tear ass out of the area and will keep going over rougher and rougher terrain until they lose you.

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  2. Enlightening, entertaining and a pic of CroCop.

    Sick.

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  3. Great article.
    I love being your parrot at my gym.

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  4. Awesome completely fucking awesome!!!!

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  5. Anyone read, "Guns, Germs and Steel?" Oh, wait, it's not porn... that means, NO!

    The migration of humans across asia, into the Americas and Australia coincides with the extinction of several large mammals as humans advanced.

    Most animals don't fear another animal smaller than them, or one that they've never seen. So, these extinct mammals probably just walked up to these cavement without fear... and the humans just killed them.

    NO RUNNING INVOLVED!!!

    You can see this even to this day. Go to the Grand Canyon. Most of the deer will eat out of your hand!

    I lament that hunting was really that easy at one point in time! Trying to get deer around here is like trying to find a Gianna Michaels clone!

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  6. Feel free to sit on my parents' front lawn for one evening with a claw hammer. You should be able to bag about 6 of those flea-bitten motherfuckers... and they live in suburban Philly

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  7. Ur right about deer in areas where hunting is not allowed and all the apex predators have been killed off. But natural selectoin favors the more skittish animals when they are beeing hunted heavily. Here in AZ there are places where they wont runaway but in the areas where hunting goes on they are hard to get close to. Ur right it does suck especially for new hunters like myslef. I rarely see the animal I am hunting. They r smart bastards and they're nowhere to be found. When we hunt deer we run into javalina and vice versa.

    A similar thing has happened with rattlesnakes. Now in areas with higher populations we are finding that we have killed of the snakes that rattle easilly and many of them will not warn you by rattling before you get too close.

    My point is that the animals quickly breed to be wary of new predators though there have been exceptions like the dodo bird.

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  8. Another good one, Jamie.

    Personally I don't buy the anthropocentric mass die-off explanation. It smacks too much of vegan hippie anti-human propaganda. It seems implausible that a hunter/gatherer species with low population density could have driven so many game populations into extinction. Would that not have taken an industrial-revolution sized approach to killing? Predators get hungry, kill, eat, and rest. They don't just keep killing for fun.

    Far more likely in my mind it was just the case that as the ice age ended being a two-ton mammal with a heavy fur coat became a serious liability.

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  9. Deer...those bastards are everywhere in Alabama. I remember riding with my aunt when the van hit one going across the road. You know you have a hunting family when you grab that fucker, break its neck and shove him in the trunk to be skinned and eaten later. Good eats!

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  10. Kenyans are good at running because that's all they can fucking do in that country.

    Whites and asians win medals in everything else: lifting, swimming, sailing tiny yauchts etc because we can buy the shit necessary to compete.

    As a side note, Kenya went down the shit pan when we withdrew our influence. Just sayin'.

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  11. "Trying to get deer around here is like trying to find a Gianna Michaels clone!"

    Hahahahahahahaha.

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  12. Holy shit, is the guy with the hammer from the first Conan flick?

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  13. Yep he is, the first proud holder of the poophammer.

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  14. That's Sven-Ole Thorsen.
    Franco Columbu also had a small part in that stunning film.

    Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!

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  15. After watching either Conan film 3-4 times each, I found every old Conan comic I could and started reading Robert E. Howard's original Conan fiction.

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  16. Just like Charlie Sheen this post was a WINNER

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  17. Drey, im the proud owner of several tales of "the savage sword of conan" in the recent reprinted edition, if you miss something, just go there (cheaper than directly to dark horses): http://www.amazon.com/Savage-Sword-Conan-Vol-v/dp/1593078382/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299197851&sr=8-1

    There should be something like 15 volume in the end (its at volume 9 for the moment), approx 200$ total, around 9000 thousand pages total, and over 9000 thousand awesome level.

    Its not the original conan fiction but the best quality/ratio I could find.

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  18. Cheaper, less bulky alternative.
    Buy a Kindle, download all of those books and comics, carry it in your pocket.

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  19. Steel isn't strong, boy, flesh is stronger... What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?

    Now, contemplate that booty on the tree of "Whoa!"...

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  20. Jamie, are you suggesting that I should eat ANYTHING out of filth-A-delphia??? Aside from a steak from Mortons, and definetly that phillipino stripper at Delilahs, I'm not eating anything in Philly!

    But I do want any excuse I can find to buy a war hammer so...

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  21. Later that day...

    ...Justin's wife finds his comment on C&P.

    As far as downloading all the books and comics, REH fiction is incredibly easy to find online. My favorite character of his was this dumb boxer I can't remember the name of. There's a full run of Savage Sword (in my opinion the best Conan comic series) online as well.

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  22. Ok I wanna know more bout this filipina in Delilah's cuz ill be in philly in 2 weeks! Gonna workout at ironsport for 3 weeks!

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  23. Jamie, i have been trying to discuss the whole "endo/meso/ecto-morph" deal with some people, as I feel it is meaningless for several reasons, but I cannot find any satisfactory quantifiable proof. Could you give me some pointers? I believe you discussed this somewhere on your website, but I cannot seem to be able to locate it. Much thanks in advance!

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  24. Food in Philly is delicious and only weak fags think otherwise.

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  25. adebisineedstits I agree. I had one of the best meals of my life in a little place called The Latest Dish. They had a great selection of non mainstream beers, great 70s funk and a really cute vietnamese waitres. I cant wait to get back there.

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  26. http://chaosandpain.blogspot.com/2009/02/im-hardgaining-ectomorph-and-stuart.html

    That's the article, Rob. It's pretty quantifiable, but the best part is that if you bring it up to any of those dogmatic idiots they will disregard all evidence HARD.

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  27. Why would anyone think that a threatened animal would not SPRINT (and escape to a more difficult terrain, etc.), but instead run at a moderate pace from a human who's trying to kill it? If everyone (animal and human) is sprinting for their life, albeit at long distance, do we still call it jogging?

    Clearly, nothing sprints for long distance. Besides, sprinting is used strategically. So this hunting for exhaustion thing is just bollocks to begin with.

    It's a good thing that we get to learn some history out of this. Otherwise your effort would have been a joke, Jamie.

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  28. Yeah! If we look in in the animal world all the predators are made to sprint and catch an animal and even they have evolved to hunt in packs. I cant think of a single preadtor that uses persistence hunting. Can you imagine? It would be some skiny loser version of a lion or panther or cheatah or wolf. Even bears can outrun a large deer or caribu or elk. I think some loser "hardgainer" came up with the theory to boost his self esteem and validate his lifestyle which will be harshly judged by natural selection.

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  29. A 'skinny, loser version of a lion or panther or cheetah or wolf' is as vivid an image as it gets to illustrate the foolishness of the idea of persistence hunting.

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  30. You know, your point about the bear is a very. interesting. one. It's huge, it's powerful and it sprints like a mofo. Those who contend that all the weight and muscle and what-not actually make us less fit (as opposed to the marathon runner), I'd like to see them run for their life.

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  31. Thanks. A while back someone posted a link to an interesting paper in the comments. It was by an army officer and West Point instructor who was a powerlifter and hated running. All soldiers are required to pass a fitness test on a regular basis He decided to not do any running and focus on lifting to prepare for his APFT (Army Physical Fitness Test)and a powerlifting competition. This was his conclusion:
    "My point is this: do what you like to do, not what you think the military thinks you should
    be doing. Too many people partake in the self-flagellation of endurance workouts because of their
    need to comply with their own perception of the military’s cultural norms. These poor souls end up
    half-heartedly following vague workouts tailored towards low-intensity performance; they are often
    unhappy with their activity and performance, and only feel redemption when in pain. Worse yet, their
    focus on the low-intensity domain yields very little improvement in any area of fitness."

    Sounds like he found Chaos and Pain on his own!

    It is a good read and the idea applies here as well. Its fine to be able to walk/jog forever but when its time to kill something, short bouts of explosive speed and strength are called for.

    http://startingstrength.com/articles/army_weak_long.pdf

    http://chaosandpain.blogspot.com/2010/10/youre-focused-on-all-wrong-sort-of.html

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  32. Thanks for these invaluable links and inspiring story. It reminds me of the consequences of failing to question everything we see, especially 'norms'.

    I think one of the most poignant points to note here is that the guy with explosive speed and strength can actually out-jog the jogger. But it doesn't work the other way. Moreover, the former has a physique that protects himself from injury, which is the least any claim to fitness can do. Not so with the latter.

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  33. why havnt any of you faggots asked about the girl at the end...right now i feel like hunting and eating a herd of moar boar

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  34. What's the use in asking about her?
    I saw that pic floating around online a while ago.
    Saved.
    Bated to.
    Case closed.

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  35. Oh man, my wife would be pissed at me...

    ...if she found out that I went to Mortons without her!

    So keep that to yourself.

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  36. Quick question for Jamie or anyone else who wants to chime in. Have any of you guys ditched back squatting for an extended period? I want to pull 700 by the time i die but am finding that back squatting and pulling heavy multiple times in a week is fucking me up so i was thinking of abandoning back squats and just alternating front squats and deadlifts on heavy days. Just curious if anyone has done similar and what results you had (if any)? Keep it real fellas.

    Jip.

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  37. Recently, I've been doing exactly that.
    My back is happy about it.
    I've been wanting to work on my front squat anyway, so it's win/win.

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  38. Jippo - simple answer, don't do regular deadlift and back squat multiple times a week. FWIW I like to alternate full deadlifts on a Sunday with romanian deadlifts (and couple those with belt squats)on the next. I'll back squat every Wednesday, and Fridays do lowish rep, high set snatches (one arm). I never feel fucked up, in fact i feel the deadlifts help the squats, squats help the deadlifts, and the snatches help with recovery.

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  39. I generally front squat if I'm going to focus on pulling. I find it leaves me with that ultra-fresh feeling I need to feel confident during a heavy set of pulls.

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