Apologies again for the bad link.
"So what, once I killed a gopher with a stick".
I had to fight a raccoon to the death once over a tree fort. In the final skirmish I brought a golf club up the tree with me. A putter I had found while hiking on the escarpment. I don't know how long our final encounter lasted but it felt like a really long time. We both ended up at the end of a very thin branch that was nowhere near thick enough for either one of us, never mind both. I remember feeling pretty scared in the last few moments; it was either him or me. Yeah, that fucker ended up in a garbage bag that got thrown off a friend's 10th floor balcony. I missed the dumpster on the first throw and had to go downstairs and toss him in from the ground." - The Glen