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02 July 2010

Before You Go On Vacation From Your Diet This Weekend...

Some food for thought. Yeah, I'm a witty motherfucker.


Going off your diet every now and again is not the end of all things, and can actually help with fatloss, your overall sanity, and with your recovery time. Thus, when you're hanging out at a barbecue hollering at bitches, you can stuff your face with burgers and beer to your heart's content. Here's why:

  1. Stressing about your food at what should be a casual event will cause a release of cortisol, which as we all know is catabolic. Therefore, obsessing over your diet in a place over which you have no control of what will be served can actually make you smaller and weaker, in addition to definitely making you look fucking stupid. Having a bit of a vacation from your diet allows your mind to return to a state of what can sort of be considered normalcy, but if you read this blog with any frequency, you're likely nowhere near "normal" by societal standards. Clinical sociopathy isn't normal, I'm told. I stabbed the bitch who happened to mutter that in my direction, though, so I didn't really get a clarification on that.
  2. Going off your diet in a planned manner for short periods of time (under a month) has very little negative impact on bodyfat, and will not inhibit your ability to go back on your diet thereafter. In a study in 2003, a bunch of people were put on a typical diet for a while, and then told to plan to go off their diets for 2-6 weeks, after which time they'd go back on. The scientists conducting the study saw little negative change in metabolism or body composition in the test subjects. The key, however, is to plan to do this, and not treat it like a fucking trip to the all you can eat buffet, but rather that you're just going to eat like a normal human being for a while. If you treat it like a multi-week cheat meal, you're going to get fat. (Wing RR and RW Jeffrey "Prescribed 'Breaks' as a means to disrupt weight control efforts." Obes Res (2003) 11:287-291.
  3. Taking a short break from a strict diet shouldn't really affect the hormones involved in the physiological response to dieting, especially if you've already dieted for a long enough period of time that you've significantly lowered your bodyfat set point into the single digits. Both Duchaine and McDonald recommend this, and do so with some force. They recommend, however, that you do essentially what the dieters in #2 did- eat reasonably. Keep the fats reasonably low, and bump up your carbs over 100g a day for a while. This will speed your metabolism and make your dieting, once you resume it, far more effective.
  4. If you've been dieting fairly hard for a while, and you've been taking fewer than two refeeds a week in an effort t get extra lean, you're probably suffering from metabolic slowdown, and could use the metabolic boost that taking a break from your diet will provide.
  5. Whining about your diet in front of chicks, or discussing your lifting program, is just about the fastest way on the planet to divest yourself of any and all interest the opposite sex might have in you. As such, you should probably refrain from discussing your exploits in the gym, as chicks likely will have no frame of reference for the weights, you'll like like a half-moron meathead (at best), and that conversation leads nowhere. As for discussing your diet, or bringing your own food to a barbecue (which I've seen happen), makes you seem like a vain, shallow, and possibly retarded, or a combination thereof. As such, just eat whatever's there and enjoy yourself, and leave the solipsism at home for the duration of whatever public gathering you're attending. Once it's over, you can go back to plotting the downfall of the government without the use of the internet, playing with your Troll dolls, or whatever it is that you fuckers do in your free time.
Now, go eat some fucking burgers and celebrate the fact that you're not drinking piss warm beer and eating a Ploughman's Lunch while wearing a powdered wig, and that you've never lost a war to the French. To you foreigners out there, continue about your business and lament the fact that you've either lost a war with the French or you're not eating burgers and getting shithoused this weekend.

The irony of this pic being manga was not lost on me, but it was apparently lost on the creator of this poster.

20 comments :

  1. Pretty sensible advice.

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  2. Good post Jamie. Especially the note on not talking to girls about your diet, etc.

    Also..I have wanted to bone Lolo Jones for many....many years.

    - Bain

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  3. And if you are vietnamese you can celebrate you had won against both France and USA!

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  4. Apparently a fuck load of people asked Jamie if they should go balls out this weekend! hahaha

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  5. Another excellent post yo. I was at this badass fourth of July party yesterday. There were dime pieces everywhere I looked, and a pit bull even got into a fight with a rot. The pit won fwiw. Probably the best party I've ever been 2. Anyways, this one dude was trying to hit on this girl, but he failed to leave his solipsism at home. As a result, she was constantly looking over his shoulder at me, giving me the fuck eyes. I talked to her l8r, and she told me she wasn't into asian dudes, but that if she was, she'd be really in2 me. Did I care? Not at all, because there were plently of other fine dimes for Dracoy to slay. H8 on that, h8rs.

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  6. Dracoy,

    You are not worthy of contempt. BTW, Dog fighting is pretty much the lowest form of entertainment I could fathom.

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  7. The Asian Jewish Chaos and PainJuly 5, 2010 at 9:29 AM

    The Chaos And Pain Rainbro Coalition is now recruiting.

    Seeking a grab bag of ethnic party favors to form a multicultural Chaos and Pain pwn squad for pwning h8rs. Currently in urgent need of a black, native american, basque, arabic, and russian chaos and pain.

    H8rs need not apply. You have made schindler's shit list.

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  8. NaturalBornKillerJuly 5, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    apparently if what annon says is true, a fuck load of people can't think for their fucking self.... happy fourth.....

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  9. Just remember guys no fighting here on Jamie's blogg take that else where! hahaha Also to remember is Camel toe is the opposite of overtraining! hahaha NBK- he could just care that much about other people that he wanted to ease peoples minds about eating everything in sight this weekend and drinking enough alcohol to drown a three year old. haha (I am being serious btw) Well maybe they can think for themselves its just they wanted to know some pros and cons of going off the diet, like Jamie said this is group therapy and just wanted to collaborate and see if it was worth it going off the diet. I was planning on it myself either way but, its good to know the science behind shit.

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  10. Wow, annon, that's one hell of a rant.

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  11. Actually, the government pulling the plug on the net is crucial to our plans. That and the so-called "peace" corps. And those satellites that send the signal to your TV. A word of advice - have your tin foil hat ready by November, unless you have figured out a way for lifting heavy weights to cause your skull to act as a Faraday cage.

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  12. Actually, our plot depends on the government pulling the plug on the internets. That and flouridated water. And the so-called "peace" corps and those satellites that beam the signal to your TV. Get your tin foil hats ready, all the lifting in the world won't turn your skull into a Faraday cage.

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  13. LOL at any of you ass clowns giving advice about what chicks like or don't like. Go back to your hands and creamy lotions.

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  14. Says the self proclaimed recovering alcoholic and kettlebell lover. Chicks dig da bell swings and group therapy stories brah!

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  15. Excellent: Rant has slithered out from his rock to chime in his useless opinion.
    Hey, Rant, did you get shitfaced over the weekend? Figured with your lack of self control and your alcohol addiction, you succumbed, yet again?

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  16. No one projects his self-loathing onto others like ol' Rant.

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  17. Bain-

    I would've thought all of that bicycling would have destroyed any vestige of manliness you had left... but if anything would resurrect it, it'd be that chick. I would punch my mom in the mouth for an opportunity to fuck Lolo Jones, and I mean that in the most respectful way possible, haha.

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  18. Rant,
    Oh I do love making fun of you, and I had no idea you provided such excellent source material for that endeavor...right on the very site you endorse!

    "Recently I celebrated an anniversary of 20 years of continuous sobriety. ... more whiny babyboomer bullshit."

    Waaaaaaaah Waaaaaaaahhhhh I drank too much and have no self control so I had to completely quit for 20 years because I'm too big of a pussy to moderate.

    Wow. What on fucking earth could you have to offer in the realm of training - a pursuit that requires a high degree of self-awareness, control, and consistency - when you were so weak as to have an alcohol problem?

    Not only THAT, but you chose the whiniest, sloberingly weak minded approach to resolving your apparent weakness. An approach that, rather than addresses your underlying complete fucking lack of self-control, actually just keeps the vice away from you altogether. Your very course of action admits the degree to which you cannot control yourself, yet you trounce around the internet like some freshly fucked bull stud.

    You sir are laughable. At your very core, your essence, the things that make you...YOU...you are a joke. Never have I ever seen someone so thoroughly marinated in pathetic.

    - Brock Mandlebar

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